“Godammit, Hill. I’m your boss, and I said to get out. That’s a fucking order!”
“Well, it’s a good thing I’m in here as your friend and not your employee. Besides, what are you going to do, fire me because I won’t leave you alone to vandalize a fucking bathroom? Like I said, you wanna hit something...Hit. Me.”
Jake’s nostrils flared, and his jaw clenched tight. The two stood that way for a full thirty seconds before Jake shoved against Grant’s chest with a grunt, releasing his hold.
Stumbling backward, Jake shook his head as if he were trying to convince himself this was all a bad dream, instead of the real-life fucking nightmare that it was.
“I lost her, man.”
Grant’s eyes grew. “What? I...I thought she was still in surgery.”
Realizing how his choice of words sounded, Jake explained.
“She is,” he said quickly. “I mean on the chopper. One minute she was talking to me, the next, her heart’s not beating.”
Jake wiped a hand down his face and grabbed the back of his neck. “Some medic half my age was doing chest compressions on her, and all I could do was sit there with my head up my ass and watch.”
He moved his hands to his hips and paced back and forth, full of nervous energy. “And she’s in there right now, fighting for her fucking life because I wasn’t there to protect her.”
“You know that’s not true.”
He stopped moving and faced Grant, yelling so loudly they could probably hear him in the operating room.
“She’s mine! I damn well should have kept her safe!”
Jake waited for Hill to tell him it wasn’t his fault again. How there was nothing he could have done to prevent what happened.
However, as the two men continued to stand there, Jake realized those things weren’t coming. The guy wasn’t even looking at him with the pity and sorrow he expected.
Instead, the big guy looked him square in the eye and asked, “What do you need?”
Jake stared at him for a few seconds. He was offering to help Jake, however he could. Too bad the one thing he truly needed, Grant couldn’t give.
“I need to be able to do something instead of just waiting for someone to tell me what’s going on.”
Hill gave a slight nod. “The waiting’s the worst. The waiting, the not knowing.”
He pushed off of the wall and took a couple steps closer to Jake, but his eyes said he’d gone to a totally different place altogether.
“The fact that we are out there risking our asses to save strangers’ lives almost every fucking day, yet the one person who matters most to you in the world, someone you’d die to protect, needs help in a way that you can’t give.”
Grant’s forehead creased, and he shook his head. He blinked quickly and looked back up at his boss, almost surprised to see him there.
Jake knew where Hill had gone. He’d read what had happened in his file, but this was the first time the man had willingly shared something personal with anyone on the team. Even Jake.
“Your mom?” Jake asked quietly.
Hill nodded. “She died when I was nineteen. Cancer.” One corner of his mouth twitched. “Of course, I’m sure you already knew that.”
“I did, but thanks for sharing it anyway. And, I’m sorry. About your mom.”
Shrugging, Grant mumbled, “It was a long time ago.”
The room silent for a few seconds before Jake asked, “So, what did you do...when you lost her, I mean. How did you...cope?”
Though the other man never smiled, Jake could have sworn he wanted to. “I joined the military and started blowing shit up.”
Barking out a surprised laugh, Jake said, “Yeah. That sounds like you.”
Squeezing Jake’s shoulder, Grant said, “Come on, man. I think you’ve done all the damage you can do in here.”
Jake glanced around at his destruction. “Yeah. I’ll let Ryker pick up the tab.”
Grant nearly did smile, then. “Hell, yeah. Come on.” He dropped his hand and reached for the door. “Let’s go see about your girl.”
Jake started to pass, but stopped just before the hallway. Of all the people he thought might come into that bathroom to try to save him from himself, Grant would have been the very last one he would have expected.
He turned to his employee. His teammate. And yeah, his friend. “Thanks, man.”
Grant just nodded with a short grunt, and Jake wanted to smile. The Hill they all knew and loved was back.
The rest of the team was still waiting at the end of the hallway, and their eyes wary when they saw him.
“You okay, boss?” Mac asked almost hesitantly and lifted her chin toward the direction of the bathroom. “It sounded like a war zone in there.”
Jake opened his mouth to talk, but Grant beat him to it. “He’s fine. Now give the man some space. He doesn’t need everyone smothering him for Christ’s sake.” He turned to Jake and said, “I’m gonna go find some coffee. You want some?”
“Sure,” Jake said, surprised at the offer. “Thanks.”
In another unexpected move, Hill turned to the rest of the team. “Anyone else?”
“You’re offering to buy us coffee?” Coop asked.
Before Grant could take back the offer, Derek stood from where he’d been camped out on the tiled floor. “I’ll go. My ass is numb. I need to move around anyway.”
Grant and Derek made their way down the long hallway, disappearing around the corner.
“What the hell was that all about?” Coop asked.
“Yeah. He actually, you know, talked. Like a person.” Mac sounded genuinely surprised.
“Lay off Hill,” Jake said, even though he understood exactly why they were shocked. “He’s not a bad guy.”
“I’m not saying he’s bad. I mean, he’s one of us, so of course he’s badass, but I never thought he was bad. The guy just never talks. Then, he’s with you in the bathroom, of all places, and comes out offering to buy everyone coffee. It’s just...weird.”
Mac was worried. Normally, she stayed pretty quiet
