I keep my hood up, knowing that my face will bring more attention and I don't need any more attention. I want to get back to the Castle and avoid any questions by Kane. Moving through the streets, for just a moment, I feel almost as if I'm back home. People going along with their daily lives, eating, drinking, and even going to work. There's a normalcy to it, and I know that's for a reason. Our souls are made to communicate with other souls. Even after the mortal plane, even within the magical realms, we thrive on our interaction with others. I too wish for a day that I can return to a life with friends, family, but mostly Kane.
I will not get my hopes up with this Nephilim as I know how difficult it is to even get close to Kane, much less when you are a creature he despises. I know that if it works though, whatever my favor ends up being, it will be worth it. And if it doesn't work, I have to be ready to come to the understanding that it may not be anyone else controlling Kane. It may simply be the kind of man he is. I don't want to even think about it, but if I don't, the disappointment will rage through me and my life might as well be forfeit at that point. To be stuck in a world where no one accepts you, where everyone looks at you as if you’re weak, and always live in fear is miserable. I can't even begin to think about what it will be like if I'm his Queen yet he wishes me dead.
In that lonely walk between the space where the city ends and the castle begins, I feel alone. In fact, I feel more alone than I ever have since I came to the Underworld. At least before, Kane and I were playing cat and mouse, skirting the edges between hate and desire. But now there is nothing but hate, and though I do desire he returns to me, I know the world is not as it seems for the mortals. Happy endings do not often happen in the Underworld no matter what silly stories a Nephilim might tell me as he shields himself behind a curtain. The only thing I hope is that my ultimate ending will not be that of a soulless capsule.
Chapter 13
Kane
She nears, I can feel her. Through the ups and downs, through the waves of dreams and desires, the fears and torture, I am beginning to pick up on that sense of when Briar is close. I try to shield that fact from Drogaem, though without my body I'm unsure of just how to do that. My shadows no longer belong to me, at least while I'm trapped in this void, and I must rely on my own soul to be stronger than my physical body was. Each and every time Briar is close by, there's a strength that swells inside of me. A clarity to my mind that only lasts while she is there, but gives me the chance to think for just a moment.
The emotions that trickle around me are confusing. I can taste the sweet delicate flavor of my Briar mixed with the anger and revenge of Drogaem. I feel everything he feels but I can separate it from myself very easily. They are familiar feelings as I once felt them as well. Living within the castle walls, fighting my urges against Lilith, and deep down, no matter how much I tried to deny it, desiring a connection like the one I found with Briar. She is my bride, and the only one I know can pull me from this. I feel it surging and bubbling inside of me. I need to grow stronger so that I may reach through this void and speak to her, even if only for a moment.
Drogaem has stopped allowing me to see her. He has stopped giving me windows to the outside world. He is doing something, something powerful drenched in darkness, and I fear that through it he will return to his former glory, if not more. Where that will leave me, I don't know, but if I hold on for nothing else it's to spare the life of my bride. Our soul bond is still there even if it is clouded by the tricks and masterful disguises of Drogaem. If I die, if my soul ceases to exist, so shall hers.
There is no solace in the lack of existence. There is no sweet ending to never seeing Briar again. There is no satisfaction in knowing that Drogaem will destroy the very world that I call home. No one is safe around him, not even Briar. I know there is a reason he hasn't killed her yet, but I cannot sense that he knows about the soul bond. The last time I saw Briar she didn't know either, not to the fullest extent anyway.
My soul hovers quietly within the darkened space, my mind no longer attached, my consciousness no longer manifesting a body that I do not need. My energy doesn't wane as fast when I am like this, but it takes some getting used to. A heat begins to bubble in my soul, and I shield myself as best as possible from Drogaem. I know that Briar is here, close to me, just inches away from my darkened void. I'm frustrated, never having been put in a situation where the answer is within reach, but I do not have the ability to grasp it. I am Death, the guide, the keeper of the souls, a member of the Three. I am one of the most powerful
