I call my consciousness, letting the power of Briar seep into me, let it expand over me, and harness it, waiting for the perfect moment where I reach full capacity. I know I need to hurry, as many lives depend on it. But more than that, I need Briar, I need her safe, I need her close. If I fail at this, there is no place in any shadow that I will be able to hide from the guilt that blankets me.
* * *
Briar
I can sense the deep stench and evil of whoever lurks within Kane as I enter back into the castle. I see him ahead, speaking with one of the servants, his face turned into a frown. He glances over, catching my eyes, and swishes his hand at the servant to shoo him away. I swallow hard as I meet him halfway, pressing my hands together in front of me and bowing my head to him. The anger seems to simmer a bit as I pay him reverence, something he has suddenly decided is important.
"Where have you been?" I could tell he is holding back an attitude.
I smile at him nervously as I reach into my bag, grasping a small trinket I picked up on the way out of the city. I knew that it might come in handy, give me an alibi for where I had been. I pull it out and open my hands, showing it to Kane. "I went to the city. I wanted to find you a gift, something that showed my appreciation for us."
His eyebrow raises and he takes the miniature crystalline horse from my hand. I watch his reaction, thinking back to the horses that we rode when we made our way across the Underworld. The connection I had with the horses was the first real connection I truly felt since I left the mortal world. Kane, in his right mind, will know that.
He holds it up in his palm and his lip snarls. I watch as the horse disappears from his hand, turning to dust. I don't give him the satisfaction of a frown or sad face. I simply shrug and go to move past him. "I'm sorry you don't like it."
I hear a groan deep in his throat and he grabs my arm, yanking me toward him. Our bodies pressed together, and for a singular moment I feel the heat that I once felt with Kane, but that quickly dissipates. His hands are soft, something that Kane has never had. His skin is warmer than Kane's normally is, and the connection is still not there.
I keep the grimace off of my face as he presses his nose against my cheek and runs his lips down my throat. As he comes back up, he hovers next to my ear breathing heavily. Normally, this kind of attention from Kane would send me over the edge. I wouldn't be able to withhold my hands from his body. I would want him near me, on me, not stopping. But feeling this different breath, this icy stillness around us gags me. My stomach turns and I search for that small hope of a flame that I've sensed within Kane since we arrived back in the Underworld. I can still feel it, it's so faint, but I focus on it trying not to feel his lips on my body, his hands on my hips, those fingers digging into my flesh.
He pulls back just slightly from my ear and whispers to me. "All I want is you… on your knees."
Goosebumps pop-up across my skin but they aren't the kind that make me want to take off his clothes. He doesn't read it like that, he reads it as an invitation for more but all I want to do is get away from him. What would've been sexy with Kane, erotic, forbidden even, is terrifying and nauseating coming from the new Kane. It's even more evident to me that this person that I cling to is not the person that I am falling for very quickly.
Everything in me wants to bolt, take off and make a run for it. But I know that I can't.
The closer I get to Kane, the true Kane, the less I'm willing to run. Maybe it's a stupid hope, maybe it's something I'll never achieve, but where I am, there's only one choice, either give up and live this mundane existence, waiting until one day when he completely dissolves my soul, or hold on to hope that the Kane I know is in there and is fighting to get back to me.
It sounds romantic and ridiculous, but I need it. I need Kane, not this fraud of a God. So, I breathe in deeply, ignoring the fact that he doesn't even smell the same as he used to, and put a smile on my face, taking every whisper of his lips with a grain of salt. I push back my fears, knowing Kane would do the same. The old Kane would wait, truly wait for me, and see if the woman I have become is truly the woman that I am. Sooner, rather than later the truth will show itself and I will have to face the music. And whether it's because I've allowed myself to be destined for the life I always imagined this would end up as, or because I figure out what or who is commanding Kane, the result will be the same.
As I focused harder on that small twinkling essence of a flame deep beneath the layers of the monster that prowls around me, I feel it grow. It's only slightly, but I feel it. Kane doesn't change the way that he reacts, and he doesn't stop himself from running his hand up my thigh. But in there I can tell he still lingers.
My hand comes down and grabs his wrist, I turn
