As I stand there, watching him kick at the mortals I can feel something inside of me flickering. There's rage and power, but it's muted. On top of that, I feel Kane's rage, a different type of anger. He walks around the table and straightens the arms of his jacket, letting a smile move over his face. On the surface he looks determined, calm, in control. But the waves of anger rolling off of him tell me something completely different.
The time is coming close where I will need to choose between my life and the life of others. Tonight, is just a small sample of what I will continue to go through if I don't do something about whatever is happening inside of this man that I thought I knew. As I stare over at the mortals curled into balls, comforting each other, hiding their fears and whimpers to avoid another beating, I realize just how impossible my choice is. Do I save the man I love, if he's even still in there? Or do I sacrifice me and him for the mortals, the innocent?
Chapter 15
Briar
"The answer is simple," William says sternly as we stand within the refuge of the hedges out on the lawn of the castle grounds. "We go back to the original plan."
I shake my head. "I don't know what you mean. "What original plan?"
Willem pauses for several moments as if he doesn't want to let the words come out of his mouth. He takes a deep breath and puts his hand on my shoulder. "You need to kill Kane. It is the only way to protect everyone. If he brings Drogaem back, everyone is doomed anyway. Kane will no longer matter, he will just be a puppet to Drogaem. He has Drogaem's crown and I know you've heard stories of his reign of terror, but I can promise you they are nothing compared to the truth. If Drogaem keeps either of you alive, it will only be to torture you both, to peel the skin straight from your bodies, to keep you alive long enough to feel every ounce of pain radiating through your body. He will kill your family right in front of you. He will kill Kane right in front of you, or vice versa."
My lip quivers, and I try to keep my emotions at bay as I know it bothers Willem when I am not strong. "If I kill him, my body will still remain but my soul will be gone."
Willem shakes his head, walking over to the bench, turning away from me. "What do you care what happens to your body if your soul is gone? It is just a capsule. It's just meat and muscle. You only care because you are currently mortal. Don't you understand that your soul can live without your body and vice versa. You will not know pain any longer because you will not be here. Neither will Kane. But more importantly, Drogaem will not be here."
I wrap my arms around myself and turn away from Willem, the tears welling up in my eyes. I have always known that there is a chance I will die, but not in this way. I thought my death would be like any other soul, my body just a figment, something to comfort me, to feel normal. But I would go on, just in a different existence. What Willem is asking me to do is to completely not exist any longer. It's scary to think about, and though I know once it's done there will be no more thought or feeling, or fear. Making the decision, actually doing it, that frightens me more than anything.
Willem lets out a deep sigh and turns toward me, walking toward the exit of the hedges. "I cannot force you to do anything, you have to think about it. Think about your family, think about everyone here that you've met, and think about yourself and Kane. I know you think this is another ploy for me to take control, but it's not. I will happily step away as long as Drogaem is nowhere to be found. Once you are gone, and Kane is gone, I will burn Drogaem's body so that this can never happen again. The Kane you see up there, the Kane that is angry and bitter, that is not the Kane that you care about. At some point you have to understand that he is gone."
I shake my head and turn away as he leaves. I don't want to believe it. I don't want to believe that that glimmer of fire that I feel deep within this shell of a man is nothing more than my imagination. Even my own instincts tell me that that's not true. The Kane I know is still in there, the man that I care so deeply about, the man that I have a soul bond with. He cannot be dead as I still live.
I leave the hedges, knowing that our time of secrecy there is drawing to a close. Kane is becoming more aware of my existence, watching me, speaking to me on a normal basis, and forcing me to see him every day. I don't mind being near him, even with the abuse that I take, I just don't want to go back down to the crypts. I don't want to face the mortals. And in some ways, seeing Drogaem laying there, hearing Kane's plans to transfer a soul into him, only pushes me more toward the idea of killing him. I feel trapped as if there's no other alternative.
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