“I’m not okay,” she whispered in the darkness, still staring ahead. I could see the glistening tears in her eyes, and my stomach tensed even more. It resembled a knot deep within me that literally felt like a burning inferno. I wasn't sure my heart could take hearing her say something like she no longer felt the same way I did.
She and I had been inseparable since we were twelve. Friends, grown into more, and at this point I knew I’d never truly feel for someone else what I felt for her. She was my girl.
“Talk to me,” I insisted, even though on the inside I was screaming, please don't say the words.
“I have to leave.”
For a moment I just stared at her, wondering what the hell she meant by that. Leave? No, leaving wasn’t an option.
“I don’t want to, but I have to.”
“What do you mean you have to leave?” I turned in my seat to face her and tug on her hand, forcing her to finally look at me. “Where are you going?”
My sweet girl, with tears flowing along her cheeks, her lower lip trembling as she did her very best to remain in control, suddenly fell apart. “We’re moving. My father was transferred.”
I had never felt the kind of pain I’d felt in that single moment, like someone was tearing at my chest in search of my heart. My throat was so tight, I wasn't sure I could swallow, breathe, or even speak.
“They’ve decided we’re leaving on Saturday morning so that we can search for a house, or even a condo as a temporary place until we can find something better. He has to be there to start his new position in three weeks.”
“Where is there?” The question was a hoarse whisper, the rawness I felt overpowering.
Maybe it wasn't so bad; maybe I could visit, or she could too.
“Seattle,” she replied, and that pain I’d felt earlier tripled.
Chapter One
Four and a half years later
“You coming tonight?”
I tossed my bag over my shoulder and looked to my left. Terrance, a fellow baseball player and friend, hollered out from the other side of my truck bed. “AJ’s gonna be there.”
“I know. She told me.” I didn’t answer his question because I wasn’t sure I was up for a party by the lake. The same lake Harley and I used to make out near time and time again. The very same lake where I’d lost my virginity to the girl who broke my heart. She was still someone I thought about often, wondering what I could have said or done differently that could have changed the distance that now lay between us.
“I don’t get it, man.” Terrance leaned over the side of my truck shaking his head. “AJ is a sweet girl, cute as hell, and she has a thing for you. Yet, it’s like you don’t even see her.”
“I see her,” I tell him. How could I not see her? She was always there, at every game, every party. She was sweet and cute; I’d have to be blind not to notice her. It just didn’t feel right, because I knew part of me was still hung up on Harley, and that wasn’t fair to AJ. I’d noticed the way she looked at me, the way she flirted, but every time I thought of moving on, I’d imagine Harley coming back. They say you never forget your first love, but it was hard to imagine I could ever have a second one.
“Rhett, I know Harley leaving—”
He paused when I stepped back and began walking toward the cab of my truck, hoping my dismissal of his nagging was noticeable. I didn’t talk of Harley, and my friends didn’t bring her up; it was just a given. Or it should have been by now. Terrance was the one guy who thought our friendship gave him the fucking free-for-all. He was pushy, and I know he meant well, but I was never good with lectures, from friends or anyone else. I was strong-willed and always had a difficult time when others tried to lead me in a direction I wasn’t sure I was ready to go.
“I’ll see ya later,” I hollered, hoping he’d finally gotten the hint. I didn’t even wait for him to respond before climbing up into my truck and slamming the door.
Whenever I was alone it was always the same—my mind would wander back to the night she told me she was leaving and the weeks that followed. Hell, the year that followed was one of the hardest I’ve ever had.
“So, I got the scholarship to GS.” I stood on the front porch with my acceptance letter still held in my hands, excitement racing through me as the idea that I’d get to hold Harley again soon runs around full force in my mind. “You get your letter yet?”
I was met with silence.
“Harley?”
“I’m not going to Georgia State.”
It was my turn to remain silent. I had to have heard her wrong, because I could have sworn she just told me she wouldn’t be coming back to Georgia like we’d planned. Like we’ve talked about over and over during high school as well as the last year since she’d been gone.
“Berklee has this really amazing dance program.” With each word she spoke, I swear I could hear my heart breaking. “I applied thinking that there was no way I would get in, but I did.”
“Berklee, as in Boston.”
“I know it’ll be hard, but we’ll make it.”
I sarcastically laugh because she had to have lost her damn mind.
“Thousands of miles apart, for the next four years, and you think we’ll be all right. Harley, we barely talk now.” I lean against the railing, no longer
