She knew better than to assume either her father or I would let this slide. If we had things our way, she’d be thirty before she went on her first date; even then, we’d be there too.
Chapter Two
“You gonna make a move?” Terrance nudged my shoulder. “What’s it gonna hurt? Just a little fun, man.”
“A little fun only opens up the door for a certain someone to get a whole lot hurt.” AJ was a sweet girl; the last thing I wanted to do was lead her on. I wanted to be sure I was ready to move on before I took a chance. But AJ—she deserved someone who was all in, no hesitation, and I wasn’t sure yet if that guy was me.
“You know what your problem is?”
I lifted the bottle of beer in my hands to my lips and took a big gulp before lowering it once more. “What’s my problem, Dr. T?” The guy always had some drawn-out conclusion or words of wisdom to offer.
“You’re living in the past, yet your past is living in the now.”
“What the fuck does that even mean?” I said with a smile.
I found myself wondering just how many beers the guy had since we arrived that had him going all Dr. Phil on me.
“Let me break it down for you.” He lifted his phone out of his back pocket, looking down at the screen, tapping away. “You are living in the past, meaning, you’re waiting for some sign or some moment where you leap back into the life of Harley. You spend all your time questioning what took place between the two of you and holding on to the idea that because she was your first love you somehow owe her. You keep thinking by some miracle the two of you will end up together, like she’ll show up and say she made a mistake. It’s been four years since she left, three years since you ended it, and you’ve only spoken a few times a month since then. I think we both know that what you two had is long over. The problem is neither one of you has the balls to tell the other one that very thing.”
I start to argue with his breakdown, only he held up his hand to stop me.
“Your past is living in the now, meaning this.” He twisted his phone around so that I could see the screen, and I leaned in to get a closer look. The beer I’d drank soured in my stomach almost instantly when I saw a familiar smile. One I’ve dreamed of often, only lately those dreams lessened. Terrance had pulled up her Facebook, something I had forced myself to stop doing after realizing I was forcing myself to see her living a life I thought I would always be a part of.
“She’s moved on man,” Terrance added, only increasing my discomfort as he tapped his finger on one specific photo. Harley sat next to some guy, blond spiky hair and that pretty boy smile that seemed so unlike her type. She was curled in close, her head resting on his shoulder as his lips pressed against that fucking spot I considered my own, her temple.
She used to tell me that when I kissed her there it made her feel cherished and secure.
“I’m not saying you have to fall for a girl and spend forever with her.” He lowered his phone, yet I didn’t look away from his hand. “All I’m saying is that you need to let go of that hope and give yourself a chance to find someone else out there that may be able to fill that void. Seems unfair that you don’t even give anyone a chance.”
I wasn’t one to drink heavily; I was always just more of the casual drinker, but tonight felt like the type of night where I just needed more.
I knew Terrance was right. Hell, my own mom had told me to let go and live my life, only I couldn’t. I knew I was young. I knew that most don’t find the person they are going to love forever when they are twelve years old, but damn it, I felt like I had. How could I ever love someone more than I loved Harley?
It just seemed impossible.
***
“Get up.” The bed shifted beneath me and I immediately grabbed my head, trying my best to alleviate the ache. “Move it,” the same voice barked once more, making me wince in pain.
Opening one eye slowly, I peeked up to find my father, the man who raised me my entire life standing over me. He didn’t look very happy.
“I’ve got a headache.” I started to roll away from him to hide my eyes from the light now beaming through my bedroom. My dad nudged the bed once again, making it shift beneath me even more than the first time, and my stomach rolled from the movement.
“No. Your ass is hungover, and it’s time you realize that shit does not fix your problems. Now move it.”
I groaned, though I knew I was testing his patience. Reed was a good man, a good father. He stepped up and treated me like his own after the loss of my dad. He was my mother’s first love, much like Harley and me. They were best friends grown to lovers before life got in the way. I shivered at the thought, because damn it, they’re my parents, and the idea of what takes place when two love each other was still something I didn’t want to imagine them sharing. The point is they lost their way, my mother went off to school, met my dad, and then I came along.
But something tragic happened
