“I know.” I saw his shoulders visibly sag in defeat. “And maybe I shouldn’t still love her.” He looked up, and it gutted me to see the unshed tears in his eyes. “But I do, and I think I always will, Allison. Why do you think I haven’t moved on? It was never because I didn’t want to. It was because I couldn’t.”
I hung my head, looking down at my plate before me, no longer feeling hungry but feeling nauseated instead. “Does Raven know?”
“No, I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to her yet.”
Again, I’m met with silence, my stomach still feeling like it’s twisting and turning. I wasn’t sure what this meant for my family, or where this newfound information would lead us. Maybe it was selfish or childish of me, but at this point, I wasn’t ready to forgive her and pretend that what she’d done didn’t still hurt.
***
“Do you wanna go out and get something to eat?”
“Not really.” I didn’t look away from the television as Rhett sat on the couch at my side. I couldn’t even tell you what the movie we’d been watching was about, because though I stared ahead, my mind was somewhere else.
“Want me to throw something in?”
“I’m not really hungry,” I told him, curling into the blanket I had wrapped around me.
For a few seconds, he was silent at my side, and I contemplated apologizing for being so short and even distant. But he spoke before I could.
“Is there a reason why you're pissed off?”
“Today just hasn’t been one of the greatest days.” I hadn’t shared much about my family but the basics. I was ashamed to talk about it. What did it say about me that my own mother didn’t even give a shit about being in my life? I might have some insecurities when it came to that topic.
“Okay, so…” He paused, and instead of explaining, I did the worst possible thing. I deflected my irritation and disappointment on him, which he didn’t deserve.
“So, I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Instead we’re just gonna sit here and ignore one another,” he mumbled. “That’s a much better solution. I’m not sure why I didn’t think of that.”
Rhett’s sarcasm did nothing to ease the mood I was in. “Or I can just go home and ignore you there.” I threw off the blanket and immediately was met with a chill that I ignored.
“What the hell did I do to you?” He stood at the end of the couch, his hands on his hips, his nostrils flaring as those jaw muscles of his I’d kissed so many times before flexed over and over.
“Not everything is about you, Rhett.” I grabbed my keys from the coffee table and began moving toward the door. “I’m gonna go home.”
Part of me wanted him to stop me, chase after me and convince me that I was just being stupid. But then an even greater part of me knew that I wouldn’t listen. The feelings I had boiling inside of me couldn’t be soothed by sweet words or even the comfort of his arms. It only ensured how much my mother’s resurfacing had affected me, because there really wasn’t much that Rhett’s embrace couldn’t make feel better.
Chapter Twenty
Rhett
Normally I was able to hold my shit together, but the last few days had been hell. AJ had been distant, and though she tells me that it was family issues and not us, I found it difficult to believe. I felt like something was off between us.
“You need a shoulder to cry on?” Wyatt, a teammate asked as he entered the batting cage next to me. Instead of responding, I stared straight ahead awaiting my next pitch. I’d been in here for over an hour. My arms ached, but I needed to get some of this frustration out of me. The problem was, I was trying too hard and was only managing to get more pissed off.
“Rhett.” I looked over my shoulder and was met with Terrance. Standing just to his left was AJ, her arms curled around her, a solemn look on her face. It made my heart ache to see her appear so fucking sad and not knowing how to fix it.
In that instant, something snapped, and I dropped the bat, moving toward her with purpose. I didn’t care if I had to lock her in a room and force her to talk to me, I’d do it.
“Hi,” she whispered, yet I said nothing. Instead, I bent at the waist and placed my shoulder against her middle, lifting her up and over my shoulder. I could hear the guys laughing, but I continued to move forward. “What are you doing?” she asked as she held on tightly, not attempting to fight me.
I carried her through the field straight for the parking lot.
“Rhett?”
“We’re talking,” I assured her, refusing to put her down and give her the chance to run, or worse, hit me for being so over-the-top. But I was desperate. The last few days had sucked, for one thing, I hadn’t been able to hold her or kiss her, but also because we’d rarely talked.
“Okay,” she agreed, and I wasn’t sure if she was being reasonable just so that I would put her down
