Once we reached my truck I opened the driver-side door and practically tossed her up into the cab. Crawling in after her, I reached for her hand and kept her in the center, versus allowing her to go toward the passenger side.
“You’ve told me this change,” I waved my hand in her direction, “had nothing to do with me, but I’m not convinced. You’ve avoided me, you’ve snapped at me more times than I can count, and, babe, you are a gorgeous girl, but right now you look like you’ve had a rough time.” She looked tired, and AJ was always so happy and spunky even. Now she looked defeated; I didn’t like it at all.
“It isn’t us, I promise.”
“Then what is it?” I asked, reaching out to cup her cheek in my palm. Flashbacks of the day Harley told me she was leaving all those years ago hit me. There was no fucking way I was doing that with AJ; I’d kidnap her and chain her to my bed if I had to. She wasn’t going anywhere; that was a promise.
“I’ve told you that my mom doesn’t live around here, but what I didn’t tell you is that she ran off on Raven and me shortly after my parents were divorced. It’s been a sore subject for the both of us, a lot of hard feelings lingering. Mixed feelings really, but it was always something we could tuck away because she wasn’t around.” She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. “But now she’s back.”
“What? When?”
“Two days ago,” she said, looking back up at me with tears in her eyes. “That day I was at your place, and I left in a hurry, it was the day he told me she called crying about the mistakes she’s made. Then this morning she was knocking on our door, pretending like the last few years hadn’t even taken place.”
I sat there listening to her, trying to imagine the feelings rolling around in her mind. I’d always been so close to my own mother that the idea of her leaving and never looking back was unimaginable.
“She and my father are all lovey and shit, and Raven and I are just…” she shrugged, “dumbfounded. I guess we’re supposed to let go of all the questions we have because for the first time in a long time, my father’s happy. But I can’t, because I just keep waiting for her to hurt him again. I don’t believe her, and part of me feels awful for that. But I have reasons.” She tilted her head to the side as a single tear rolled over her cheek. “Don’t I?”
“Yes,” I replied as I reached out and pulled her in closer. I wanted to hold her and make everything all right, make it all go away. “You have every right to be judgmental and fearful. I’m sure you and Raven both have resentment for the way she walked away. Regardless of the divorce, you’re both still her daughters.”
“Every time I bring it up, I’m met with resistance. My father just wants me to let it all go, but I know I can’t. He looks so sad when my mother and I butt heads, and that alone makes me want to ignore what I feel. But then I become this person, a sad and angry version of myself.” She attempted to lower her head and look down, but I stopped her. “I’m sorry for causing this distance between us.” When she said the words, her lower lip trembled, and it felt like I’d just been kicked in the gut by a mule.
“Shhh,” I hushed her, leaning forward and pressing my forehead against hers. “Don’t apologize, just let me in. Talk to me, yell at me in order to feel better, but don’t push me away, AJ. I can’t stand it.”
She nodded as she leaned back and looked up at me. “I’m ashamed of the things she’s done.”
“You shouldn’t be,” I told her, “she should. Because she has two amazing daughters that she’s pushed away. I may not know Raven as well as I know you, but I can honestly say that your mother’s the one that’s lost in this situation. Because you, AJ, are as beautiful inside as you are out.”
I wanted to tell I loved her right then and there, but with everything she’d shared, I felt like the timing wasn’t right.
“Can I stay with you tonight?”
“You can stay with me every night.” She smiled, but I wasn’t joking. Everything just felt better when she was with me. I know I was a lot easier to deal with when she and I were on track. The guys, and even Grace, had been telling me that I was an ass for days now.
“What do ya say we get outta here and stop off at the store for that junk shit you love?”
“That sounds like a plan.” AJ arched her chin upward and I met her halfway for a kiss. The second her lips touched mine, I felt like the emptiness I’d been feeling wasn’t so deep anymore.
***
AJ curled into my side, and I swear to it she purred in comfort. Last night she cried and laughed, she talked about life before her parents’ divorce and then how things changed after. I tried not to judge her mother, but it was hard not to when I’d seen firsthand the way she’d managed to hurt my girl. The idea of anyone upsetting her left an ill feeling in my stomach.
When she finally fell asleep, cozy and warm beneath the blankets, her head resting on my chest, she slept like a rock. I wouldn’t bring up how she snored in her sleep because she would only deny it. It was just confirmation that
