“When I look at her, I don’t just see that little girl with the big smile anymore. I see a beautiful, captivating woman that takes my breath away. That feeling right there, it’s a feeling I want to experience every day.”
I could no longer see clearly as I fought to blink away the tears that were pooling in my eyes. They were words I needed to hear after yesterday and last night. I fell asleep with an empty feeling inside of me. I thought what we could have had was tainted by the torment we’d inflicted on one another over the last few weeks. I thought me pushing him away was the end before we even got the chance to start.
“One day you’ll understand how hard it is to watch one of your kids, especially your daughter, hurt in even the smallest of ways. As a father, the need to fix things is your first instinct.” I smiled as I listened to Colt, my dad for all the reasons that counted. The overwhelming urge to hug him for being my protector hit me hard, but I remained where I was.
“I want to fix things with her, sir.” The respectful way Mike spoke to Colt reminded me of the man he’d become. “I need to fix things. Being on the outs with Maddison is nowhere I wanna be. She’s a big part of my life. Having things turned upside down between us has left me feeling lost, if I’m being truthful.”
Me, too.
“I think the fear of what everyone would think about the two of us had us doing and saying a lot of things we both regret. I know I do.”
“You probably don’t remember this, but when the two of you were younger, Maria and I used to talk about what it would be like when you were older. Your momma insisted that it was a budding romance even at the age of twelve and seven.” I remember her yesterday at Gran’s telling me basically the same thing my father was now sharing with Mike.
“She’s in bed.” I shifted away from the door when I heard the creaking sounds of the front porch, the boards moving under the weight of my father’s movements. “She hasn’t been out of her old room since last night.”
I started to back away from the door.
“I’m gonna head over to the farm to help out with the stalls.” Oh my God. “I think Maddison needs to hear all the things you’ve told me.” I felt guilty for eavesdropping.
I heard the rattle of the doorknob, and I continued to move backwards until I bumped into the couch behind me. Then the door began to open, and I spun around, sprinting toward the hallway that led to my room. I felt like I did when Colton and I used to sneak into the living room in the late hours of Christmas Eve to sneak through the presents that were left under the tree. The two of us would hear my parents moving around and take off toward our rooms. The difference was then we would squeal in the process; this time, I held my breath.
I jumped into my bed and yanked the blankets over my body and curled up in a ball, trying my best to even out my breathing. I held my eyes together so tightly they began to hurt from the pressure.
Then I heard his boots against the hardwood floor, getting louder and louder as he got closer.
My bedroom door made a creaking sound while being pushed open, and suddenly, I was holding my breath.
“Maddison.” The sound of Mike whispering my name gave me chills. I was excited and fearful at the same time. “Are you awake, pretty girl?”
I loved when he called me that.
Reminding myself to breathe, I let it out slowly and then inhaled once more.
My bed dipped at my head, and I told myself to just remain calm, though it was proving to be one of the hardest things I had ever had to do.
Mike remained quiet, but when I felt him place his hand on my hip, I couldn’t keep my body from reacting. Turning to look back over my shoulder, I noticed how tired he looked. “Hey,” he whispered, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Hi.” I finished rolling over, causing the hand he had rested upon my hip to rotate around and come to a stop at my waist. I looked down, his own gaze shifted to the same place, and together we sat quietly.
“I don’t know how to fix this thing between us.” I shifted my eyes back to meet his. The sadness that laid there was heartbreaking. “But I know I want to. More than anything, I need to make things right with us.”
I swallowed the large lump, or so it felt, that was lodged in my throat, which made it difficult to speak. So I nodded my head.
“Can I get a do over?”
I wrinkled up my forehead, feeling confused by his question, and for the first time since I looked at him, he gave me a genuine smile. It wasn’t like the one from moments ago that seemed forced and laced with regret. This was a true Mikey smile.
“That kiss, from yesterday,” he began, sliding in a little closer, “if I could go back, I’d change everything about it. A kiss like that would not be my first kiss shared with the girl I’m falling in love with.”
Boom. The air had been knocked from my lungs. Or, at least, that was what it felt like when he spoke those words.
“You’re falling in love with me?” I understood how lame that question sounded, but I was in shock.
“Yes.” He leaned in, resting the weight of his body
