“You could have come after me. I know Dad told you where I was. He refused to lie to you for me. He told me you came by. You didn’t even try. Do you know how many nights I laid in bed wishing you would come find me? That it was all just a dumb nightmare.”
“You’re right. I talked to your Dad. He told me where you were, and I went to find you. I waited outside your dorm building and watched as you walked down the street, laughing with some girls. It looked like you were having the time of your life. I didn’t know why you left. In that moment, I thought you left and didn’t tell me because you wanted to start a new life without me. Seeing you happy, I couldn’t bring myself to approach you.”
“So you just gave up?”
“You gave up too.”
She sits back down. “I guess we both fucked up, huh?”
I scoot closer to her. “We did.”
“What now?”
I shrug. I want to pull her close. I’m still hurt she left, but I understand why now. That part of me that was holding me back from her for fear she’d abandon me again has quieted.
After a moment of silence, she speaks up. “What did Reed do to you? That day, I mean.”
I remember back to the day she was referring to. I had no idea she had been there.
“Coach said we had to bond as a team. We were playing shitty on the field. Darling came to me and asked if a couple of us could meet at my house since I had a big patio and we could bond, do some guy stuff. I was dumb and said yes. We went straight there after practice and just hung out, talking and stuff.” I glance over to her, then look away. “Reed must have gotten home from his own practice right after you left. He heard us talking about girls. He lectured us all about the way we were speaking, then sent the guys home. After they left, he laid into me even more. Then he made me promise that I wouldn’t hang out with them again. Said they would just cause me trouble and I couldn’t trust them, that I could only trust family. Family that included you. Then he made me run drills for three hours on the back lawn until I thought I was going to pass out. It’s why I didn’t know you had left until the following day.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Why did you say it? We weren’t doing stuff. We weren’t like that. So why say it?”
I take a deep breath before letting it out. “Other than being a stupid kid wanting to fit in? Honestly, I think I was claiming you. As stupid as it sounds, you were and still are hot as fuck. Those guys were perving on you, and I didn’t want them to. I figured if I said we banged, they would back off because I claimed you. I was trying to protect you from them. Stupid kid logic.”
“You thought I was hot?”
This time my laugh is real. “You had no clue how beautiful you were. In the seventh grade, I don’t know, you just changed. You weren’t the girl I used to hang out with. You were this girl who was pretty, but you were also my friend. By freshman year, I had a hard time hiding my boners around you. Trust me, you caused a lot.”
“I had no idea. You never let on.”
“Why would I? Here I was, this dopey kid hanging out with the most beautiful girl in school. Hell, I had to pretend to be into other chicks just to hide how I felt about you. I didn’t want you to be weirded out and stop being my friend.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
“We really were dumb. I had a crush on you all freshman year. I didn’t want to lose you, so I hid it too. It bothered me to see you with other girls, but I couldn’t say anything. That's why what you said hurt me so much. I was upset that you said it, but even so I wanted what you said to be true. Or at least, I wanted it to be a possibility.”
“You hid it well, or we were two dumb kids too blind to see what was in front of us.”
“So where do we go from here?” she asks.
“Friends?”
“I don’t know. We have a lot of issues to sort through. It hasn’t worked so far today.”
“We can sort through them as friends. I don’t want to avoid you or feel weird around you anymore. I would much prefer to be joking with you and forcing you to watch horror films with me.”
“I really do hate them.”
“I know, but you always love them afterwards.”
She bites on that damn lip, making me want to take it into mine. “Okay. I know I said it before, but I mean it now. The past is all out there. Let’s leave it behind us and move on. But no more talking about me behind my back.”
“I can tell everyone you have a great ass in front of you?” I tease.
She smacks me. “You’re insufferable.”
“Ah, but you love that about me.”
“Something like that. Let’s get back to the party.”
“Lead the way.”
✽✽✽
Morgan
It’s another Saturday morning. Since reconnecting with Tinsley and Keaton, my Saturdays have been mostly spent with them. I’m surprised I haven’t heard from either of them yet today, but decide to focus on my homework—more specifically my lesson plans for ballet.
I realized quickly that this ballet class is what
