“Thanks for trying,” she said. “I’m sorry for going through your papers. I didn’t mean to pry. It truly was an accident, and I was only trying to keep them from being ruined.”
Once again she felt herself falling back on her old patterns of behavior, apologizing to keep the peace when she really didn’t have anything to apologize for.
Frankly, she was tired of always having to apologize. This wasn’t all on her, and even though she wasn’t sure she still wanted a relationship with Ty, if theirs was going to work—if any relationship was going to work—communication had to go both ways.
“But it was still wrong of you to keep this from me. Maybe if I had reached out to them, they would have been more open to being tested. Or maybe, if we all discussed it as a family, we could have worked together to solve the problem. But you thought you knew it all, and you didn’t include anyone else.”
The words came out in a rush, and she barely recognized her own voice. But she was standing up for herself, and it felt good. It didn’t even matter what Ty’s response was. She was standing up for herself, and for what was important to her. And if Ty didn’t like it, then he obviously wasn’t the right man for her.
“I did what I thought was best,” he said. “This isn’t just about you. I have Ricky’s feelings to consider, too.”
He still didn’t get it. He was stepping in and making decisions for others without even consulting them. Why did she find herself so attracted to controlling men? Maybe this really was the answer she’d needed all along. Just because she and Ty had chemistry didn’t make them a good match for one another.
But she couldn’t just let this go. “That’s not always for you to decide. Maybe you should talk to Ricky about these things, see what he really wants.”
“Who wants to know they have family members who want nothing to do with them? It isn’t as if he knew they existed. The Bennett twins, while they are Cinco’s sons, are not Luanne’s. It’s just further evidence of what a lying, cheating jerk Cinco was.”
The tension in his jaw made her want to comfort him. Which made her feel ridiculous. Hadn’t she just told herself all the reasons why Ty was completely wrong for her? What right did she have, feeling so much compassion for him?
Ty sighed, like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. And he probably was, taking everything upon himself and not letting others help. Funny, since that was the crime he often accused her of.
“He was really upset when he realized that Cinco cheated on Luanne with your mom. How do I tell him there were others? The more I look into the past, trying to find information about Cinco and Luanne, the more I think Ricky would be ashamed of his son. How do I break an old man’s heart?”
She honestly didn’t know, but it didn’t feel right for him to keep so much from everyone else. Especially when it impacted them so greatly.
“But if you’re keeping the truth from him, isn’t that like telling a lie? If you hate lies so much, why would you let Ricky keep believing them?”
Ty didn’t answer. And in the silence that hung between them, she had to wonder if she’d pushed him too hard. But she’d told him the truth, which is what he said he valued. And you couldn’t only have the truth when it was convenient.
Just when she started to think they’d end up spending the rest of the drive to Denver in silence, Ty said, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the Bennetts. I thought I was doing the right thing in waiting until the right time to tell you. I’ll talk to Ricky.”
Rachel supposed Ty’s apology was progress. But he also didn’t sound convinced.
“Thank you,” she said. “I know this is a learning process for us all, but you’ve got to realize the double standard here. You can’t expect everyone to adhere to some crazy version of the truth without being completely honest with them.”
“Maybe so,” Ty said. “But you’re just as guilty. Like I said, I’m not sure this is the right time for us to have a relationship. I have more important things on my mind right now. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to put some music on for the rest of the drive.”
He didn’t wait for her answer as he reached for the radio and turned the dial to the Christian music station they liked to listen to. She couldn’t fault his choice in music, though it was frustrating he didn’t want to talk further.
“Fine,” she said. “But I do need to know—are you keeping any other secrets from me? From here on out, everything needs to be on the table.”
If Ty wanted their relationship to be based on honesty, then she needed a foundation of no more secrets. Maybe then she’d feel safe in opening up to him more.
For a moment he looked thoughtful, then he said, “I’ve told you everything I can.”
As far as answers went, it wasn’t what she’d been hoping for. But she supposed it was too much to expect a straight answer from someone who seemed to keep everything close to his chest. Definitely the lawyer in him. Still, it was a good warning that she needed to continue guarding her heart.
As far as failures went, this hadn’t been Ty’s biggest. But he also couldn’t consider their conversation a success. He’d thought he was sparing Rachel from having to hear the hateful words from her half brother. He was angry and confused, and Ty didn’t blame him. He didn’t know how he would react if, instead of his gift of a peek into your genetic
