He opened his eyes, and she stood before him—head held high, cheeks flushed, chest heaving. Looking like an Amazon ready for battle. Funny how he’d chastised her for not standing up for herself, and now that she was doing it, Emma Jane was every bit as glorious as he’d imagined. Only he’d never thought it would be used against him.
“You started it,” he said, knowing the words were childish but unable to help himself. If Emma Jane wanted to have this out, they were going to have it all out.
“I have done everything you have asked.” Tears streamed down her face. “What more do you want from me?”
“You didn’t trust me to find a solution for your family that didn’t involve marriage,” he said quietly. “You didn’t trust me when I told you not to get involved with the bandits. I asked you to please trust me, and I told you that the very foundation of our marriage depended on it, but every time I turn around, you are doing what you think is best, without regard to what I may want.”
He shook his head slowly. “I thought we could build something. But the longer I’m with you, the more I realize that I can’t trust you, because you don’t trust me.”
Jasper knew what it looked like when a woman was shot. He’d seen the look on Mel’s face when she died. The expression on Emma Jane’s face was no different. He’d hurt her. Part of him was deeply sorry.
But the other part of him felt free. For the first time since he’d married her, he felt like everything he’d been stuffing inside finally came out.
Except that only made him hurt more.
Because he knew that what he’d said was true. He didn’t trust Emma Jane, and she didn’t trust him.
So what exactly did they have?
“I do trust you.” Her voice shook slightly, echoes of the tears she’d been shedding. “But I don’t know how to get you to understand that.”
“When we leave, leave the baby here.”
Her face registered shock, but she didn’t say anything, so he continued. “Abigail loves him and has the ability to take care of him in ways you can’t. The Lewises have said that they believe God brings them children who need homes. We’ve done our duty by the baby. We’ve found him a home with people who love him and will care for him like their own, which is what Daisy wanted.”
“But I promised Daisy I would...”
“No.” The word caught in his throat. “Every time I see that baby, I think about how you didn’t trust me enough to talk to me about your decision. How every other important decision in my life was taken from me. And rather than working together as a couple to figure out what was best for the baby, you did what you wanted.”
Even now, he could hear the baby fussing downstairs and saw that Emma Jane’s attention was immediately drawn to the sound.
“We can’t even talk about our marriage without that baby taking your attention away.”
He regarded her solemnly, hating how cold he sounded but not knowing how else to get Emma Jane to understand. “I need my feelings to matter, too.”
“Ordering me to leave the baby here doesn’t sound like my feelings matter to you.”
There it was again. The strong Emma Jane with a ferocity he couldn’t help but admire. But as much as he admired it, he also couldn’t live with the way she continually disregarded his feelings.
“You’re right,” he rasped. “Right now, it feels like no matter what we do, one of us has to lose. The very foundation of our relationship is broken, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
A knock sounded at the door, and Stephen poked his head in. “Sorry to disturb you, but Abigail was wanting Emma Jane.”
He turned his attention to Emma Jane. “She was going to give the wee one his first bath and thought you’d enjoy being a part of it.”
“Thank you.” Emma Jane didn’t spare Jasper a glance as she hurried from the room.
He should have expected it, given that he’d been so hard on her. Even now, his gut churned, and he wished he could have taken back some of his words. But which ones? Did he continue walking on eggshells and avoiding what was really bothering him? He’d been completely honest about his feelings, and yet...it felt wrong.
“Marriage is harder than it looks, isn’t it?” Stephen said quietly.
Jasper didn’t look at him. “How much did you hear?”
“You were talking pretty loud.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize...”
Stephen stepped in and put a hand on Jasper’s shoulder. “Seems to me you’ve been holding a lot in. Sometimes, when it comes out, the explosion is bigger than any dynamite could create.”
The older man’s touch was warm in a way Jasper hadn’t expected. Like he could almost feel the love flowing into him.
“I just don’t know what to do. I know my words hurt Emma Jane, but I can’t keep pretending that everything is fine. How do I be honest about my feelings when it’s going to hurt hers?”
Stephen didn’t answer, but he stood there, looking at Jasper as if Jasper was supposed to know what to do. Keep bottling it up and pretending that he didn’t mind having his life stolen?
Jasper closed his eyes for a moment. “I suppose what’s done is done. No matter what I do, I’m not going to get my old life back.”
“Once a man marries, his life isn’t his own.”
Jasper opened his eyes to stare at the other man. His father had told him the same thing.
“So I just let her make all of these decisions without me?”
Stephen shrugged. “You’ll find a way to make decisions that you both can live
