“Please don’t.” Emma Jane pulled her hand away.
“I’m just going to bring some of these cookies in to the others, so we don’t have any more cookie thieves in the kitchen,” Olivia said, excusing herself.
“Don’t what?” Jasper asked with a furrowed brow, pivoting around to face her. “I was trying to pay you a compliment.”
“I don’t want your charming lies. Flattery may work on the other girls in town, but I won’t be trifled with. I know I’m not the prettiest girl in Leadville, so why perjure yourself?”
Jasper’s face fell. “I wasn’t lying.”
Then he reached for the pan of cookies. “Do you want one?”
“No, thank you,” Emma Jane said, wishing she could take her words back and wondering why it was so hard to get along with Jasper. Even if he had been lying, he was just trying to be nice.
“Well,” he said, biting into a cookie. “We can’t talk about the past, and I can’t compliment your looks, so what would you like to talk about?”
Emma Jane shook her head in exasperation. “You mean to tell me that when you take a girl for a ride in your carriage, all you talk about is how pretty she is?”
Jasper shrugged. “And the weather, but...” He pointed to the window, where the snow still swirled. “I think that says it all.”
“So, looks and the weather. That’s all you have to say, and you’re the town’s most eligible bachelor?”
“Was.” Jasper finished the cookie. “They prattled on about the goings-on around town, but truthfully, I don’t think I paid any of it much mind. I couldn’t care less about who was having what dance, and what they planned on wearing. I’m not sure we ever talked about things that mattered.”
He grabbed another cookie. “You sure you don’t want one?”
Emma Jane shook her head. She’d seen signs of this Jasper in some of their earlier conversations. Thoughtful, charming and well...enjoyable to be around. Especially during their time in the mine, and then when they were here, recuperating and waiting out the storm.
The truth was, she liked this Jasper. And that scared her. They’d become friends, and yet, once they were married, he seemed to have forgotten all about that friendship.
“So what do you think we should talk about, then?” A dangerous question, and Emma Jane almost regretted asking it. But Jasper was right. They couldn’t keep fearing the future based on their turbulent past.
“Um...” He stared at his cookie. “What do you like to do for fun? Besides read the Bible, of course.”
“I like to knit, and sew, and do needlepoint.” Emma Jane frowned. Those were all hobbies of women who needed the results of those hobbies to keep her family clothed. How would Mrs. Jackson feel about Emma Jane continuing those passions?
“Your attempts at teaching me to knit the last time we were here didn’t work out so well.” Jasper grinned. “I was all thumbs.”
Then he looked at Emma Jane. “You know, my mother likes to do those things. She’s made a number of blankets for the church. I know she hasn’t warmed up to you, so perhaps that might be a way for you to find common ground.”
Emma Jane shook her head. “I’m not sure she’d want to find common ground with the woman who stole her precious son.”
She didn’t mean for her words to sound so harsh, especially when Jasper frowned.
“You have to understand. My mother means well. According to my father, she tried for years to have a baby. Before I was born, they had a little girl. But she died as a baby. When they finally had me, my mother was so protective. So fierce. She was just so scared of losing me, too.”
He smiled wryly. “It wasn’t until Will came into our lives that she let me do anything she didn’t think was too dangerous.”
“I remember you telling me how Will taught you about defending yourself and all the things involved with being a lawman.”
The small connection warmed Emma Jane’s heart. Somehow it made Jasper seem all the more human to her.
“Anyway, Mother likes having control more than I do. You think I’m upset at losing control of my life? I think, for her, it’s even worse.”
Then he regarded her in a way Emma Jane didn’t understand. Like he was puzzling her out.
“I know it bothers you to see the way my father and I defend her. But deep down, she’s a good person. She’s just lost so much, and being in control is the only thing that’s kept her going over the years.”
Emma Jane reached out and took his hand. “Thank you for telling me. It makes her seem more human. I was praying about my relationship with her the other day and that God would give me a way to love her. Your words are an answered prayer.”
And indeed they were. Even now, for as little time as Emma Jane had Moses, she couldn’t imagine the heartbreak of losing him. That was the hard part about Jasper’s lack of compassion for her wanting to raise the boy. He didn’t understand how deeply she already loved him.
What would it have been like for Mrs. Jackson to have lost a child?
It didn’t excuse her behavior toward Emma Jane, but she did find that knowing the depths of Mrs. Jackson’s pain gave her compassion for the other woman.
“You talk a lot about answered prayers,” Jasper said slowly. “I know the pastor talks about it, but I don’t understand. We’re just ordinary people—not pastors. We have no special connection to God. Why does He listen to you?”
Those words gave Emma Jane more compassion for Jasper. He’d made a lot of comments, here and there, that made her wonder how deep his relationship with the Lord was, and now she understood.
He didn’t have one. Jasper Jackson, pillar of society, and one of the leading members of their church, didn’t know the Lord.
“God listens to all of us,” Emma Jane said, squeezing his hand.
