It wasn’t even that he wanted to say no. He just wanted to feel like he had some say in a life he felt like he had no control over.
He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking this might be a good time to catch up on the sleep he hadn’t gotten the night before. While the chair by the window was pretty enough, it definitely wasn’t suited for a man to spend the night in.
But immediately, Emma Jane’s words about God, and how He was available to anyone who asked, came to mind. Did God care about Jasper? Would God be willing to help him see through the darkness of the situation?
He opened his eyes and looked over at the table where the Bible sat. Just a few pages. He could read a few pages, and maybe somewhere in there he could find an understanding like what Emma Jane had. Like what Pastor Lassiter taught. Perhaps then he could pray to God, and He would hear him.
And then maybe, just maybe, he could see a way to a future where he and Emma Jane could peaceably spend their lives together.
Chapter Fourteen
Jasper had barely spoken to her at supper. In fact, the only thing he’d said to her was, “Could you please pass the peas?”
Why had she brought up Moses when they’d been getting along so well? Why couldn’t he understand how important taking care of Moses was to her?
Emma Jane blew out a breath and set down the knitting project she’d began.
Abigail looked at her sympathetically. “That wool is a mess to work with. I think I should have spun it differently. At the time, I thought it would be good for socks.”
“It’s not the wool.” Emma Jane sighed as she looked over at Jasper, who was reading the same newspaper he’d been reading since they’d arrived at the hotel.
“Marriage is hard, I’ll give you that.”
Abigail glanced in the direction of the men’s study, where her husband and father were closeted. “Sometimes,” she said in a low voice, “Charles makes me so angry I can hardly stand it. But as Mother always says, marriage is for better or for worse. Most of the time, I’m pretty content with him, but, oh, how I wish he’d spend more time with the children and less time with his horses!”
Emma Jane couldn’t help but smile at the other woman’s expression. If only her marital woes were as simple as Jasper spending too much time with his horses. She understood that marriage was about the good times and the bad, but when would she and Jasper ever get to the good?
Though he was clearly trying to make an effort, his disdain for her was just as clear. He didn’t want to be married to her, and no matter how hard she tried to make things better between them, they always ended up fighting. Or worse.
If Jasper had heard Abigail’s comment, he gave no indication. Apparently, the same article he must have read several times over was far more interesting than anything the ladies were talking about. His brow was furrowed, as though that same article contained such monumental information that all of his careful rereads concerned him deeply. Emma Jane sighed yet again. It wasn’t her place to judge his reading habits, but if the story was so important, why did he not attempt to discuss it with her?
He’d said he wanted to start over, to get to know each other as they should have done in the first place. Well, perhaps it was time they did so now. Emma Jane cleared her throat.
“Whatever is it in that article that has you so enthralled?” she asked.
Jasper didn’t look up but he kept reading the newspaper. Was he deliberately ignoring her? Was he merely so engrossed in his reading that he simply didn’t hear her?
“Jasper!”
Finally he glanced over at her. “Did you want something?”
“Why, yes, I did. I was wondering what you found so interesting in that paper that you keep reading?”
“This? You wouldn’t be interested.”
“Of course I would,” she retorted. “Isn’t the point of our time together that I learn about you? Even if you don’t think I would be interested, I still would like to know what is engaging you.”
Jasper sighed and put the paper down. Emma Jane noticed that he set it awkwardly under the table, as though he wasn’t quite ready to put the paper away.
“I suppose you’re right,” he said. “It was an article on a boxing match coming to town. I was thinking about how very much I would enjoy taking Will to see it at the Tabor Opera House. However, with the bandits on the loose, I’m not sure it’s wise to make plans.”
Then his frown deepened. “It’s so frustrating being stuck here knowing what I know about the bandits while everyone else is back in town coming up with a plan that probably won’t work.”
Immediately, Emma Jane felt guilty for pressing the issue. After all, it was selfish of her to focus on their relationship when very dangerous men were on the loose. But there was nothing they could do now. They were trapped until the snow let up. Since they were stuck here, why couldn’t they make the most of their time?
“I can understand that,” Emma Jane said, softening her tone. “However, it seems to me that worrying over something you can’t change isn’t going to make the situation better. So let’s focus on what we can change.”
He quirked a brow. “Is this more of your wisdom on making the best of things?”
“Yes, I suppose it is.”
“Well,” he said. “There you have it. There are many things I enjoy in life, but I’m finding that more pressing matters keep distracting
