Birdie: Whoa, what the fuck? Why are you sitting with Royal?
Two seconds later.
Birdie: Why is Royal’s arm around you? Dude…
Truth be told, I hadn’t seen Birdie and the others at the assembly either. The room had been really crowded, and after, they did let us out of school. Had I seen her, these questions might have come then since Royal and I had been very much together that day as well.
Me: Long story.
Birdie: Okay, give me the Cliff’s Notes version.
About to do that, I was bumped when Royal got up. Soon, the others followed and before I knew it, I was being surrounded literally by a Court wall, tall boys even taller as they were standing up and I was sitting down.
Royal cradled his hand behind the back of my neck, kissing the top of my head again.
“We’re going to go pay our respects,” he said, pulling away. “Be right back.”
He didn’t let me argue. He didn’t let me come. He only squeezed my hand before his boys followed him out of the pew, and that pissed me off.
I lifted my phone.
Me: We’re seeing each other. Where are you guys?
Birdie: Front right. Three pews back and uh, what???
I gazed around, finding her and the others easily with their heights now that I had direction. That was definitely nice about having friends who played on the basketball team. Birdie with her big, brown bushy curls sat with her neck craned, waving an arm. After a moment, she nudged the shoulders of some of our other friends. The whole pew was basketball girls and boys, and Shakira sat right next to her. The dark-skinned girl with long braids also waved a hand, and Kiki, our other good friend, sat in the row behind them with more basketball players. The girl looked like a Korean model in her dress, which I knew her family originally hailed from as she’d told me. After Shakira reached back and pinched her, she waved too, her smile full.
I smiled as well before going back to my text message.
Me: Don’t make a thing of it. It’s still new.
Birdie: Okay, well. You’ll explain after all this? I thought you were done with that.
He wasn’t done with me, and I found myself with no desire at all to be freed. I loved Royal. I loved him so much, and though that honestly freaked me out, I’d rather lean into it than run away. He needed me, and I needed him.
Even if he didn’t show that right now.
He’d made his way up to the front by this point, standing with LJ, Knight, and Jax. Like he said, they were paying their respects. Hands behind their backs, they stood gazing into the casket. I still couldn’t really make out much besides that, Mira’s body deep into the bed of the casket, but they had a picture of her right next to it. She was smiling. She was alive and wearing her cheerleader uniform. She was in the perfect peak of her life and not some shell just lying in a casket. She was complete. She was whole.
What the fuck is wrong with this town?
That question plagued me through a surprisingly short service. My mom had been Catholic so hers had been quite long. My sister’s service was also a bit lengthy but mostly because of my dad. I hadn’t seen him today, but hadn’t expected him either. He’d been working a lot the past few days and had been gone the whole weekend entirely.
Fresh air couldn’t have come at a better time upon leaving the church, and I drank it in the instant I was allowed it. Royal kept his long fingers laced with mine, and though the other boys were nearby, I felt disconnected from all of them. They kept looking at each other, not looking at me. They were doing more of their Court telepathy, and not only did that annoy me, I was insulted by it. Royal’s hand left mine when we reached the street, but only because I got the distraction of other friends. Birdie and some of the basketball team made their appearance, and I gave Birdie a hug the minute she found me.
“This is all crazy, right?” she announced, looking quite sad really. All the girls did. We weren’t Mira’s biggest fans, but still, I didn’t think anyone wanted anything bad to happen to her. Birdie swallowed. “I mean, I know she called me Big Bird, but I’d never want anything like this to happen.”
She took the words right out of my mouth, and in the shuffle, I realized Royal, LJ, Knight, and Jax had allowed me to be led off. They currently stood in the street with a few other Court members, just talking. Royal’s hands were in his pockets, and seeing me, he tipped his chin before going back to it.
I rubbed Birdie’s shoulder. “Same. I didn’t like her, but yeah. Never wanted this to happen.”
“Any of you guys know why she did it?” Smoke pulled from Shakira’s lips. She’d lit a joint right outside of the church.
Kiki smacked her hand. “Girl, you can’t smoke that here, now.”
“Girl, I can’t not smoke this here. You saw that shit.” Shakira shook her head, taking another drag. “Just tragic.”
Agreeing, the joint got passed around. We made sure to do it out of the fray and to the side of the church, but we were still technically on the front lawn. I didn’t think any of us cared at that point, and even I took a hit, which got me a look from a few old people lingering outside. They should probably respect how others decided to deal with this stuff. I would if I saw them doing the same.
I folded my arms. “No
