"What happened to the old one?" I asked again, hoping that she knew something. If it really was my mother, did that mean that she was dead?
"It's hard to say. Goddesses don't really die, but they do disappear sometimes to a place that we may never understand." She explained.
"Isn't it a good thing that there would be a new Guardian?" I asked.
"Yes and no. There are a lot of beings here in this world. Some of them would be very keen to find the new Gatekeeper if there was one, and not for very good reasons." She sighed. I would have to think about that later.
"And that man?" I asked.
"Ever since the Guardian of the Gates went missing the demons have been getting more audacious. It's been chaos as spirits have been trying to find the way to their next destination. Some demons have even been posing as a Guardian of sorts to lead them astray. That man may have been such a soul or he may not be human at all. In any case, it's been getting harder to avoid them." She laughed bitterly.
"Thanks," I said. "I have a lot to think about. I appreciate the room. I think I'll head back now."
"Of course," She said. I watched her pick up a spindly broom and begin sweeping out the dusty inn floor.
I spent the rest of the night in my room. I wasn't able to sleep. I'm not even sure if sleep was possible in the liminal world for someone like me, but I at least got the semblance of rest. I had too much on my mind to really sleep anyway.
The Guardian of the Gates had to be my mother. It was a different name for the same Goddess. I knew it. She couldn't be gone. I thought about what they had said about the torches. If I had really been the one to relight the torches, that would mean... It seemed too crazy to think about but was it possible that I was the new Guardian of the Gates. If it was true, then I was severely under-equipped for the task as I now realize. Alice Mistlethwaite's admonishments that I needed training now seemed true. But if what Anais had said was true, maybe there was another way. Maybe I could bring my mother back. If I went to her shrines, maybe I could find a way to seek her out. It had to be possible. Maybe if I really was the new Guardian there would be something that I could do that nobody else could do. I didn't see what choice I had, because as it currently stood I had no idea how to guide souls anywhere, let alone their final destinations.
A plan began to form in my mind. If I could somehow manage to find my mother, the true Guardian of the Gates, then she would know what to do. She would be able to help me get back to the physical world. It was so hard not to be able to talk to Kairn. He would know what to do. My chest tightened with a deep ache. I had to believe that I would see him again soon. An icy feeling gripped my heart as I remembered our conversation back at my cabin. He was feeling the pull of the wild hunt more and more each day. Would I be able to make it back, before he was pulled into that world for good? Tears began to well up, and I didn't fight them back.
The next morning, with a plan loosely formed in my mind, I went to see Anais.
"Good morning," She smiled as her hands were busy wiping down the counters.
"I was wondering," I hedged.
"Yes?" She asked.
"Where would a spirit go if they wanted to see the Guardian of the Gates? You know if she was back?" I asked.
"Most likely place would be one of her shrines,” Anais replied absentmindedly. "But you're not thinking of going there right?"
"I was considering it," I said. "I don't have another plan, and I'd like to meet the new guardian if there is one." I tried to deemphasize my interest.
"It will be very dangerous out there right now," She warned.
"I'll be careful," I promised.
"If you insist, at least let me send you with some supplies." She started gathering up things behind the counter. Her eyebrows knit together in an expression of worry as she packed a sack with lots of things.
"Don't worry about me." I tried to tell her.
"It's my job as the Nightside Innkeeper to worry. Now, I know that you haven't eaten yet, but I put some bread and cheese in here just in case you decide you want to. It's hard for a lot of spirits at first." Her expression was so genuine, it almost brought me to tears.
"Thank you," I said.
"And another thing," She said, while haphazardly filling the sack. "Watch out for yourself. Ever since the Guardian disappeared, it's been crazy out there. Spirits are restless and you never know who you might meet."
"Thank you for everything Anais," I repeated my gratitude.
I walked out of the inn, and while it felt like morning there was no way to tell what time it might be in the real world. I could have been gone for a month already. That made it so much harder to go on. Not knowing what was happening in the physical world, In my own life at home, was exceedingly difficult.
The cloaked man from the night before was thankfully gone, but I knew I still had to be careful. I crept out of the inn and walked into the mist.
The mist was thick and unending. It
