“It is all right, Father,” Emma said, putting a restraining hand on her father’s arm. “It will only be for a few moments. I will return shortly.”
“Do not be long, my dear. The train is approaching,” the countess said, a beautiful woman in her own right.
William nodded gratefully at Emma’s mother, who simply looked at him knowingly.
Emma stepped away from her group of family and friends, and as he turned to follow her, he noticed Kitty’s eyes on him. For a moment, something flickered in her gaze that gave William a glimmer of hope.
“What are you doing here?” Emma asked suddenly.
William focused his attention on her. “I must speak to you.”
“A matter of urgency once again, my lord?”
“It is not what you think, I promise that.”
“So, you have not come here to ask me to stay? Despite knowing that I am miserable in this foolish town. That I am forced into the confines of my own home where people throw rotten fruit at my parents’ home? And despite the fact that I am sobbing myself to sleep every night? I have to dispose of all the strongly worded letters delivered to me on a daily basis from strangers, informing me of what a harlot I am? Despite all these things, you still came here, knowing how miserable I am, asking me to stay, because you need me?” Emma gaped. “Is that not rather selfish? What about what I want? Do I not deserve some peace? Do I not deserve to be happy? Do I not deserve such good things from life and the place in which I find myself? Is it because I am a woman and we do not matter?”
Where had all that anger come from?
But before William was able to answer, the train pulled loudly into the station and smoke filled the air around them. The chatter of people who disembarked from the trains with their trunks rose up in the air, and he glanced at Emma.
“I did not say any of those things,” William insisted defensively. “And I would never say such things.”
“Then what did you come here to tell me? That I should remain safe and take care of myself? Because I can do that very well.” Emma said sharply and pushed past him.
William turned and watched as she rejoined her parents and the duchess. Then she quietly embraced each of them. She handed over her trunks to the train porter, who carted them to the luggage cart after placing paper tags on each item.
As Emma approached the steps to ascend into the train car, he rushed towards her and drew in a breath.
It was now or never.
Chapter Nineteen
Emma grabbed onto the metal railing when she heard William yell out to her.
“I love you, Emma, and I cannot allow you to leave before I confess my feelings!”
Dumbstruck, she turned around, her hand still firmly grasping the railing.
“You’re simply saying that as a means to stop me from boarding this train,” Emma pointed out, her gaze narrowing.
“It does not matter what your reaction is. You are free to still leave if you wish. I only want you to be happy, regardless of whether you wish to have me in your life or not. Whether you stay or leave, it will not change my feelings for you,” William answered.
His words affected her more deeply and with much more intensity than she had anticipated, and her grasp loosened on the metal railing. “I do not understand why it took you so long to say those words to me.”
“I was too ignorant and also too arrogant to admit that a woman such as you could make me to feel things I have never felt before,” William admitted.
Her heart was galloping in her chest and she forced herself to concentrate on his words. “Is that meant as a compliment, William? Because it most certainly does not sound that way.”
He sighed. She was right. He should have planned this better.
“Emma, forgive me for not being honest, not only with you but with myself. The first time I met you, was a moment I will never forget. Regardless if we had our differences then, I cannot stop thinking of you. Of the time we shared. You are strong-willed and intelligent, and your ferocity terrified me at first.”
A smile trembled on her lips. “Why?”
“Because I came to realize I had met my match. I reluctantly accepted it, but I never truly felt comfortable with loving such a strong and independent woman until I realized that you make me a better person. I am the man I always wished I could be. I am confident in your presence, and in all honesty, I cannot imagine dancing with any other female ever again. Just you.”
“William,” Emma cringed and glanced around her as the passengers climbed into the train carriages. “You most certainly have less than impeccable timing.”
“But if I did not say these things to you, I feared I would not get another opportunity to do so,” he answered.
“It is sweet of you to make such a grand gesture but I must go. I promised myself that I would do what makes me happy and staying in Somerset for another moment does not. I wish to feel alive and not hide any longer. I wish to experience the open fields and breathe the fresh air of the Scottish Highlands. I wish to feel the wind in my hair and not care who whispers and gossips about me. I wish to be free of Somerset and everyone in it,” Emma explained.
“Even of me, Emma?” he asked, sadness spreading through his veins like a disease.
Emma pressed her lips together briefly then she stepped down from the stairs and reached her hand out, pressing her palm against his cheek.
“I must make this decision for myself, and please trust me when I say that you do not in any manner affect my choice.”
“But you have feelings for me, I
