“There is no reluctance within me, William,” Emma said defensively and lowered her hand away from his face.
He didn’t believe her.
“I have spent the past few weeks searching for you in every woman I met, every woman I saw, but I could never find you. Those women did not come close to the person you are. They were not as beautiful, nor as witty, intelligent, or amusing. They did not anger me in the manner you do, or make me feel such intensities as I do standing in front of you right now.”
Emma swallowed obviously, her eyes glistening.
“You know not of what you speak, my lord.”
“I do,” he answered and took her hand in his. “Emma, you are the only woman I want to be with, night and day. When the sun shines or when it rains. No other woman could ever take your place.”
She frowned. “You have mentioned all the ways in which you need me, but in no way have you explained why I need you.”
He smiled. “Perhaps not, but I can see it in your eyes. The manner in which you glance at me when you think no one’s looking. The way you whispered to me in the study when we were alone.”
Emma momentarily lowered her gaze.
William pressed on, taking advantage of her silence.
“I evoke emotions in you that you have not felt before.”
He swallowed hard, pushing forward, though the next words were the hardest to say. “I challenge your beliefs, but most of all, you fell in love with me as well—unexpectedly, but irrevocably. And if you deny it, then you are a liar. It is one thing to lie to me, but it is quite another to lie to yourself,” William sighed. “I can certainly speak from experience.”
“Excuse me, my lady,” the conductor suddenly appeared beside Emma and she glanced at him. “The train will depart in a few minutes.”
“Thank you,” Emma said with a nod and turned to him. “I must go. I am truly sorry that I cannot give you what you wish. It is true, I do love you William, with everything I have inside me. Even if you infuriate me. But I need to be true to myself. I do hope you understand that.”
William’s heart broke at the same time his shoulders slumped, but he nodded. “Very well. It is certainly your decision.”
“Thank you for honoring it, William. You truly mean the world to me,” Emma said sadly, tears now running down her cheeks.
“Of course, I do not wish to leave you, but it is the lesser to two evils.”
She took his hands in hers and squeezed lightly. “Until we see one another again, my lord.”
AS WILLIAM OPENED HIS mouth to respond, Emma cut him off the best way she knew how.
She pressed her lips against his and kissed him tenderly. There was still a fight going on within herself, trying to come to grips with her emotions. She pulled back abruptly, turned away and quickly climbed into the train carriage.
She soon found her seat and sat quietly across from Anna, her maid, who had been sitting in the carriage since it had stopped in the station.
Anna glanced at her with an encouraging smile, and this only caused two more tears to run down Emma’s cheeks. She sat back against the backrest and closed her eyes for a moment. Her heart pounded with a ferocity that caused her chest to ache and her breathing to become labored.
“Are you all right, my lady?” Anna inquired.
Emma pursed her lips and shook her head. “Not in the least, Anna.”
“I am aware this is not my place to say, but it seemed as though Lord Seymour loves you very much,” Anna pointed out.
Emma pressed her hand against her aching chest and opened her eyes. “It is, indeed, not your place, Anna.”
“My apologies, my lady. I can merely point out that you glance at him in the manner in which his lordship, Lord Montague, still glances at her ladyship, Lady Montague. And such love is most certainly rare,” Anna continued to say, despite Emma’s dismissive words.
“It does not matter if he loves me or not, Anna. It is too late to turn back now, even if I wanted to, and believe me, I wanted to.”
“My lady, it is not fair to deny yourself of love, even if it goes beyond your beliefs. You two are very much different but it does not mean that there is no future for—”
“That is quite enough, Anna. I feel miserable enough as it is without you making it worse,” Emma scolded.
“My sincerest apologies, my lady. I did not mean to upset you,” Anna said quietly.
Within a moment of uttering those harsh words to her maid, Emma lowered her gaze and sighed. “It is I who should apologize, Anna. I do not know what came over me. It is most certainly not your fault that I feel miserable. It is my own fault.”
Anna sat quietly, not saying a single word, and Emma did not blame her in the least.
She was the one at fault, and the young maidservant was simply too mild-mannered to inform Emma of such, but she realized it.
“The most heart-wrenching of all is that it is too late,” Emma sighed as she rested her head against the wooden frame of the window, listening to the engine of the train growing louder with every moment that passed.
The time had come.
The train started to move slowly and another tear ran down her cheek, but she proceeded to stare out the window. Her forehead pressed against the cold glass, her heart shattering into a million sharp shards. Surely, she would be able to put them back together with time?
Maybe.
Time spent away from Somerset, and its people. Even William.
The train moved faster, the carriages swaying rhythmically as the whistle blew from the engine.
Emma drew in a deep breath and straightened her shoulders, preparing for
