I turned and headed for the kitchen for a beer. When I returned, they were both still here, sitting on my fucking couch like they weren’t leaving anytime soon.
“The whole point of that little speech was so that you wouldn’t be here when I got back.”
Hunter shrugged. “I may not agree with what you did, but I respect the fact that you made a decision and you stand by it. You obviously feel very strongly about this, and I’m not that much of an asshole that I’ll hold it against you forever. Besides, we start work next week. We can’t exactly go out on a job if you’re not here.”
“So, what you’re really saying is that you’re willing to look past my decisions because you want to go out on a job.”
He shrugged. “I may or may not have pissed Lucy off this week.”
Derek snorted. “When do you not piss Lucy off?”
“I really fucked up this time. I’m not sure how to fix this.”
“What happened?”
“What didn’t happen,” he huffed. “It all started with her asking me to change Colt. So, I changed his diaper, but it was a massive blowout. I mean, it was up his back and dripping all over the place, and I’m not touching that shit, ya know? So, anyway, I took the wipes, a good ten to twenty and just covered all that shit up. Then I grabbed a few more and started in on getting it all cleaned up. So, she comes in and sees this garbage bag of wipes, and she just lays into me. Apparently, using more than three wipes on my kid’s ass is too much.”
“Is there an actual number you’re supposed to use?” I asked. Hell, I wasn’t versed in cleaning up kids. I had no clue how this shit went.
“Well, according to her, I’m not allowed to use a whole package of wipes on one diaper change. And then, to make matters even worse, it was the last package of wipes. So, I told her it was fine, that I could just run out and grab some more. But she went into this big tirade about how I couldn’t do it because I would get the wrong brand and buy too much other shit. And now she was going to have to shower and get ready to go to the store. Shit, you’d think she was getting ready for a fucking beauty pageant or something.”
“I’m confused,” Derek said, “why is this the worst that you’ve ever fucked up?”
Hunter cringed. “When she was getting ready to leave, I may have said something along the lines of her not looking any different than she did before.”
“Shit,” Derek swore. “How long had she spent getting ready?”
“Two hours?”
I pulled my lips between my teeth, crossing my arms over my chest as I leaned back. There was no fucking way I was laughing. He was right. He had really fucked up. “Suddenly, I don’t feel like the only asshole in the room.”
✯✯✯✯✯
“Why the fuck are you guys dragging me to the hardware store?”
“You need to do some manly shit,” Derek said, pulling out a shopping cart.
“And that’s going shopping with two other guys,” I said, raising my eyebrows at him.
“Well…” He cleared his throat and shoved the cart down the first aisle, leaving Hunter and I to follow. “You can’t just sit around the house for the next week. You need a project, something Florrie will appreciate.”
“Yeah, because if I build her a deck off the back of the porch, that’ll totally make her love me again.”
“Hey, it can’t hurt.”
“You’d be better off building her a gun range behind your house,” Hunter said, picking up cordless drill and checking it out.
“Yeah, because I need a place where she could ‘accidentally’ shoot me.”
“Hey, I’m just saying, you need to appeal to her feminine side.”
“She doesn’t have a feminine side,” Derek pointed out.
“She does too. And that’s my girlfriend you’re talking about.”
“You know, I’ll never in my fucking life want to go back to referring to anyone as my girlfriend,” Derek said. “It reminds me of being in high school, and trust me, that was not a good time for me.”
“I thought you were Mr. Popularity?” Hunter asked.
“That’s where you’re wrong. I was a troublemaker. Chicks only wanted me because I was dangerous.”
Hunter snorted beside me, and even I cracked a smile.
“What? I was. I had a lot of women back then, but they didn’t want me for me. They wanted me because I was the bad boy.”
“Right,” Hunter laughed. “It’s okay, man. You can admit that you seduced a lot of women. We all know that you weren’t really a bad boy.”
“Fuck you, I was the baddest of the bad.”
“So bad they called him Leroy Brown,” I added with a grin.
“Whatever,” Derek huffed. “Don’t believe me, but it’s true.”
“We know, man.” Hunter cuffed him on the shoulder in commiseration. “Besides, it doesn’t matter. We’re trying to help Knight’s mini-me get his woman back.”
I glared and shoved past them. “Whatever. I’m not Knight’s mini-me. I’m not anything like him.”
“Excuse me,” a feminine voice came from behind me. I turned around to see the woman from the bar standing behind me. “I met you the other day…at the bar?”
“Yeah. Alec,” I said, holding out my hand.
“Amanda. It’s nice to have a name to go with the face.”
I stood there uncomfortably, not really where to go from here. I wasn’t trying to hit on her, so I wasn’t really sure what to say.
“Look, I know that you’re probably here doing your own thing, but I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
“Sure, what do you need?”
Derek coughed loudly, clapping me on the shoulder. “Uh, could I talk to you for a minute?”
I glared at him, but stepped away from the woman. “What?”
“What are you doing?”
“Um…” I glanced around me. “I
