I drove through the rain, barely paying attention to where I was going. I was walking into the bar before I even realized what I was there for. She was still at the bar and when she saw me, she must have known. She stood and walked over to me, grabbing my hand as she pulled me out the door. The rain pelted me as she dragged me around the back of the bar to her car. I shoved her up against the door, ignoring how her keys hit the pavement. All I cared about was fucking her and forgetting what had happened. I slammed my mouth down on hers, slipping my tongue in her mouth, trying to erase the taste of Florrie that never went away. Her fingers slipped through my hair as she pulled me closer.
I pinned her against the car door with my hips. I could feel my erection straining against my jeans, begging for a release. I slid my fingers into the waistband of her jeans, fumbling with her zipper. I slid it down slowly, pulling back to look at her.
I swallowed thickly, shaking my head slightly. “It’s over,” I whispered.
She nodded and pulled me back into her, kissing me like she needed me as much as I needed her. We both needed to forget and try to move on. A few seconds later, I had my cock out, rubbing against her pussy as I slid inside. Her gasps made my cock jump inside her, urging me to move faster. I thrust hard, fucking her up against her car, not caring at all if someone walked out and saw me. There was only her and I and the fucking rain, washing away all the crap that we were both dealing with.
She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close as she shattered in my arms. I was so close, so close to finding that release that I so desperately needed. She whispered my name and I tilted over, coming hard as my cock slammed into her one last time. I rested my hand against the car, bracing myself so I didn’t fall over with her in my arms.
As my breathing slowed and the chill of the rain soaked through me, I suddenly realized that no matter how many women I fucked, I would never erase Florrie from my life. She was so deeply ingrained in me that I would never be able to move on with anyone else. And there was no way I could keep her if she found out that I ran out on her and fucked another woman.
“Shit,” I swore, stepping away from Amanda.
“This was a bad idea,” she mumbled. “I shouldn’t have…”
“Me neither. Fuck.” I ran my hand through my soaked hair and stepped further away. “Amanda, I shouldn’t have- Fuck, if Florrie finds out…”
“What?” It was a horrified whisper, one that cut me deep. I knew I had used her. I thought she knew that too.
“Amanda-”
“Did you seriously just say that? You said you ended it,” she said as she scrambled to pull up her pants. “You said it was over.”
“It is… it…fuck, I don’t know. It’s not that simple.” I started shoving myself back in my jeans. It was obvious she just wanted to get out of here.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” She finished pulling herself together and bent over to find her keys. “Either it’s over or it’s not.”
“It’ll never be over with her,” I said bluntly. “I thought we were both-”
“Don’t!” she snapped. “There’s a difference between using each other and you getting back at your fiancé. You made me the other woman! I can’t believe you! I told you that I left my husband because he cheated on me and you just made me into her!”
“It wasn’t like that,” I started, feeling like a total shitbag for what I had just done. “Look, I’m sorry. I never meant for that to happen. I wasn’t trying to-”
“It doesn’t matter,” she snapped. “God, I’m such an idiot. Don’t ever talk to me again. If you see me in the bar, walk the other way.”
She ran around to the other side of her car and flung the door open.
“Amanda!”
She flipped me off and took off out of the parking lot, leaving me standing in the rain. “Fuck!”
I walked to my truck and got in. I sat there for a good ten minutes, trying to figure out what the fuck to do. If Florrie found out that I fucked another woman, there was no way I would ever get her back. I couldn’t tell her, but if I lied to her and she found out, it would all be over anyway. Brushing the water from my face, I put the truck in drive and headed home. I didn’t know what I was going to say to her. Maybe she wouldn’t be home and I could get away with putting this off until I could find some reason to make this all okay.
When I pulled into our driveway, she was still inside. The rain picked up as I opened the door. I stepped out into the darkness, dreading every step toward the house. I had to lie. I just couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t stand her rejection. I couldn’t break her heart further tonight. No matter what shit she said about me, none of what happened was okay. It couldn’t be justified, and I couldn’t talk my way out of this.
I opened the door, intending to just slip upstairs without her noticing, but she came around the corner, stopping me in my tracks. Guilt raced through me so hard that I was sure I was giving away everything on my face. I stared at her, waiting for whatever she was going to say. For a second, she actually looked like she was going to apologize or something. But then her eyes flicked down
