A peek behind me reveals a sight that will soften the hardest man. Millie is snoozing in her seat with Elsa’s head resting on her lap. The little girl’s fingers are curled in the dog’s thick fur. Patch is sprawling out on the floorboards without a care in the world. I can’t even lie. A burst of warmth spreads through my chest just considering I’m privy to witnessing this moment. Fuck, these women are turning me into a sap. I wait for the gut-churning nausea to kick in, but there’s nothing but the pleasant heat washing over me. I’m sinking into lost-cause territory with zero plans of return. Who would’ve thought? Definitely not me.
Keegan must notice me looking at the dozing trio. A toasty smile lifts her already rosy features. “It’s been quite a while since she zonked out in the car, but she used to do it every time. She gets that from me. Fully alert one second, then bam. Zapped out like a blown fuse.”
Her turns of phrase are a tad wonky, but I get the picture. More than that, a spark flickers in the back of my mind. What she said prods at my already burning curiosity. I swipe along the brim of my hat, collecting the fragments of courage to solve a gaping hole. “Can I ask you something?”
Keegan peeks at me from the corner of her eye. “Of course.”
“You can tell me to screw off. It’s not really any of my business.”
She taps her thumb to a silent beat on the steering wheel. “I feel as though we’re past the point of pussy-footing around one another. Don’t you agree?”
“Uh, sure.” She might change her tune once I pry into personal details.
“Just spit it out, Ford.” Her green eyes roll faster than spinning tires.
“Where’s Millie’s dad?”
Her breathing falters, just for a moment. If I hadn’t been paying close attention, her reaction would’ve been a mere blip. “That’s a good question.”
“Thank you?” I scratch my temple.
She hikes a single shoulder. “I honestly have no clue. Haven’t seen that spineless sperm donor since I told him the news.”
I almost swallow my tongue. “Uh, what?”
She waves off my evident shock. “Not literally. I didn’t go to a bank and get knocked up at nineteen on purpose.”
“That’s good, I guess.” My palms begin to sweat, along with the rest of me. I’m wading into very unfamiliar waters without any hope of staying afloat.
Keegan chomps on her bottom lip. “It’s kinda an embarrassing story. I prefer to leave that part of my past in Cheyenne.”
“It’s all right. Forget I asked.”
Her cheeks puff up with a lungful of air, blowing the stream out in one long exhale. “Just rip off the bandage, right? Gah, okay. So, Joel was such a cocky jerk. Big douchebag on campus. I can’t for the life of me remember why we slept together. Too much alcohol, probably. The worst kind of peer pressure. That entire night is a blur. It was a piss-poor decision from all angles. Nonetheless, six weeks later, I was pregnant. I’m sick to my stomach just thinking about that day. He deserved to know, of course. Too bad he couldn’t care less. The asshole even laughed at me.”
Her grip on the wheel turns white-knuckle. “I paid for the paternity test for my own peace of mind. When Joel got the results, all hell broke loose. He threatened to take me to court for using a fake test. His posse of assholes ridiculed me. Only Josey took my side. Everyone else became a bully. It’s crazy how much power popularity can give. At every turn, I was made to feel like the bad guy. I contemplated taking him to court, but money was already stretched thin. My parents had just died the year before. It was a really dark time for me. I could’ve stayed and held my ground, let their hate roll off me. But in the end, I didn’t want them to ruin this beautiful experience for me. I was going to have a baby. A little miracle of my own. Eff Joel and his cronies for trying to drag me down to their level. All of them are cruel monsters.”
A humming sigh escapes her pinched lips. “I transferred schools the following month. The university I chose had excellent financial support, especially for single parents. Their specialty programs made graduating with a degree possible. Even though it was a struggle, I managed alone. Joel knows about Millie, but wants nothing to do with her. Again, I could’ve forced him to be involved and pay child support. Maybe I should’ve, because she deserves every opportunity, and there are some I haven’t been able to give. But him having any power over us made me queasy. He officially signed all parental rights away when she was eight months old. It’s her choice if she ever wants to try contacting him. I’d rather forget about him, but Millie can make the decision when she’s ready.”
Blistering rage bubbles under my skin. A turbine of wind thrashes in my ears while I try to control the brewing hurricane inside of me. Keegan doesn’t need me to act like a rabid bear at this moment. What she needs is support. “Does Millie know about him?”
“Yeah, somewhat. I’ve given her a very glossy version. She rarely mentions having a dad, especially in the last few years. It breaks my heart that she doesn’t have everything a little girl deserves. I feel guilty, even though it’s not my fault or what I wanted.” She throws me a quick glance, a slight wince tightening her expression.
“You shouldn’t, Kee. You did what was best for Millie.” My heart is thundering too fast. Could I possibly find a permanent place in their puzzle?
“But am I being selfish? Or weak?”
If I ever cross paths with this Joel tool, he’s not walking away
