Keegan sniffs, dropping her gaze to the crushed bouquet I foolishly thought would help. “Maybe you should’ve considered that before setting fire to everything we built. There’s a hole in my chest, and you put it there. You pulled the trigger. That’s on you, Ford.”
“You can’t forgive me.” It’s a statement without question. I hang my head as any lingering hope fizzles in my queasy stomach. Grant was wrong. I’m not the hero. Keegan and Millie don’t need me.
“I don’t think so, Ford. There’s too much damage.” Her choppy exhale is almost my undoing. But I’m already fading regardless.
“Okay, I understand.” I glance from Keegan to Millie and back again. Their solemn expressions brand me, leaving a stamp on my crushed soul. The shattering in my chest is painful enough to steal my breath. I drag in a labored pull, my lungs protesting the forced motion. “For what it’s worth, I’m really sorry.”
She wipes at her already wet cheek. “So am I.”
I turn away, properly chastised and punished. Millie’s quick footsteps pound into my ears. Her whispered protests crash into me, cracking what’s already broken. I deserve worse. My boots drag against the pebbles littering her walkway. I don’t bother lifting my feet to avoid the minor bumps. This isn’t the end I wanted, but the choice wasn’t mine to make.
“Ford,” Keegan calls.
When I glance over my shoulder, Millie is yanking on her mother’s shirt. A slew of desperate pleading falls from her lips faster than I can track. I force myself to remain rooted in place. What I imagine, and want with clawing desperation, is to eliminate the frigid wasteland separating us. “Yeah?”
“Don’t go.”
I freeze with my gaze locked on her. How cruel is my brain to plant such a tempting trap? There’s no chance in this warped reality that my ears are being honest. In this suspended moment, I can only assume my mind is playing nasty tricks. Or I’m really losing my grasp. I blink and she’s still standing there, waiting for me. “What?”
“Maybe we can start fresh. From the beginning.” She bites her lip while thinking something over. “We got off on the wrong foot from day one. What do you think?”
All of the air rushes out of me with a loud whoosh. “Really?”
She shrugs. “Yeah. Watching you walk away again is a bit more than we can handle. Willpower only stretches so far on its own. We’ve all been pretty mopey without you. That’s gotta count for something, right?”
With three long strides, I eat the distance keeping us apart. “You won’t regret this.”
Keegan peeks up at me from beneath her damp lashes. “That’s what I’m banking on.”
“Does this mean we can be friends again?” Millie’s soft voice chimes in, the sweetest sound I’ve heard in two weeks.
“Maybe, if your mom says that’s okay.” Uncertainty continues to prod at me. I can’t be sure until Keegan tells me.
The little girl smiles at me and just like that, my spirits soar to the clouds. “We missed you, Ford.”
Keegan huffs, rolling her tear-stained eyes. “Don’t let him off the hook so easily, Mills.”
“But he’s sorry, Mama. Look how sad he is without us.”
“She’s right. I’m barely breathing.”
“I expect a lot more groveling.”
“And I plan to give it. For many years to come, if you’ll have me.”
“Let’s not get too serious. I thought this wasn’t about dating?” She twirls some blonde strands around her finger.
“That was part of my idiotic front. The one you punched gouges in after a simple glance. I think we both know exactly where this is heading.”
“You just want to have adult sleepovers with me again.” She states that as if it’s a crime against her.
“I can’t say that hasn’t crossed my mind. Let’s be honest, I’d be blind or batting for the other team if that wasn’t the case. But this is about far more than S-E-X.”
Keegan scowls at me. “Millie can spell.”
I wince. “Oh, sorry.”
Millie giggles, covering the sound with a tiny palm. “You’re so in love. I can’t wait for the wedding. Can I wear a pink dress with silky sleeves?”
Keegan pats her daughter on the head. “We haven’t officially started dating yet. Let’s start there and see where things go.”
“I’m gonna learn that secret language for couples and knock your socks off.”
A gape parts her ruby lips. “What?”
I allow a lopsided smirk to tilt my lips. “Never mind. Just remember that I’m prime boyfriend material. You’ll see. I’m gonna earn all of your trust again.”
Keegan’s eyebrows leap toward her hairline. “Pump the brakes, Mister Swoony. I’ve been disappointed enough for a lifetime, Ford. My little girl has already experienced more emotional warfare than any grown adult ever should. How is this going to be any different? What’s to stop you from leaving again?”
I shuffle forward, putting me that much closer to paradise and a future worth striving toward. “You have every right to question me. I can’t guarantee a day won’t arrive where my gut instinct is to flee. But I promise to reach out and let you reel me in. No more leaving unless you make me go. But I won’t go without trying to tough it out first. I wanna be grounded here, to you and Millie. Being reliable and dependable is who I hope to become. Both of you have left a permanent mark on my lonely soul. There’s no moving on without you.”
She nibbles on that plump bottom lip again. “You’d let us do the saving for once?”
A low rumble rises out of me. “I would love nothing more.”
With her next breath, Keegan shifts and sidles up against me. Her arms loop around my waist in a gentle embrace. I’m stunned for a moment and don’t move. When her cheek rests over my left pec, all of the pressure releases from inside of me. I reach out, scooping Millie in the process, and hold them
