I sigh and look at her. “Yeah pretty much.”
We sit in silence, for a bit. My head is spinning. I’m so scared of the outcome of all this. I’m equally as pissed when I think of everything I’ve discovered. The feelings I’ve become expert at hiding, have become impossible. Once the walls started cracking, the emotions escaped. Just like everything that is happening now, it’s out of my control.
“Take Ivy into the bedroom,” Zane says, pulling me back to reality. I nod and we stand up. He grabs my elbow and I look back at him. “Trust me.”
I spin and step into his warm embrace. “Always.”
He holds me tight and buries his face into my neck. “I won’t let anything happen to you. We can’t survive without each other. We’ll vote on everything tonight, but no matter what happens, I will keep you safe.”
“I know you will,” I whisper.
The door swings open and I pull away. I don’t say anything else, I just go into the bedroom with Ivy.
“Now what?” she asks, pacing the floor.
“Now we wait to see what they decide,” I say, sitting on the bed. “Come sit, it’s gonna be a while.”
She listens and sits next to me. Turning her head, she sighs. “I don’t understand. What are they deciding and why are they all coming to do it?”
I smile and turn my body to hers. “This club, any club, is a family. No decision is made without a vote. They all need to agree. Nothing happens without that. In order for that to happen, they all need to be here.”
She chews her lip and twists her hands. “So do they vote on relationships?”
I laugh and put my hand on hers to stop her nervous movements. “No, sweetie, that’s up to the couple. She just needs to understand the club will always come first.”
“I need a drink,” she mumbles. I smile and wish I could go get us both one. “Is it hard?”
I tilt my head in question. “Is what hard?”
“Being with Zane?”
“You can’t compare us to anyone else. This is some Romeo and Juliet, bullshit.” I think back to the conversation with my father when I say it. I never actually thought we’d be living it for real. But here we are, that dagger getting closer to doing someone in. Ivy’s moving hands bring me back to the present. “I think it depends on the couple. If they can both handle everything, it’s like gaining a huge family.”
She nods her head, over and over. I don’t even think she realizes she’s doing it. “Doesn’t seem worth it. Not with all the illegal shit that goes on.”
“You’re focusing on what you’ve always thought an MC was all about. It’s not what you think, but you need to see that for yourself,” I say.
“Yeah,” she whispers.
I hear the yelling from the living room, so I try to talk over it to keep her relaxed. “You like him, huh?”
“What’s his deal?” she asks, not needing me to clarify who he is.
The door swings open and Finn stands there. “I’m checking on you and seeing if you need anything,” he says. It couldn’t have been any better timing. He brings back a few beers and some leftover pizza. I thank him and tell him to stand on the outside of the door.
“He listens to you?” she questions.
I laugh and take a bit of my pizza. “He’s a prospect, so yeah he does.”
“What’s that?”
I guess because this is the only way of life I know, all these questions seem crazy to me. But, I have to remind myself that Ivy has never been around a club. She has no idea what it’s all about. I spend the next half hour trying to explain everything the best I can. She seems to understand, but I’m not sure.
“You asked me before what Kace’s deal was.” She nods her head and I continue. “Kace has a huge heart, like Zane. He’s fierce and protective. He’s also cautious when it comes to his heart,” I explain.
She finishes off her beer and grabs another. “Why?”
I smile at her interest. “He was shot last year.”
“What?” she yells, interrupting me.
My eyes are sad as I think about it. I wish I was here for him and Zane. I know it was agony for Zane, watching his best friend barely hanging on.
“Yeah, I don’t know the specifics, but he was shot and it was close to his heart. They didn’t think he’d make it, but he’s a fighter. His ex, not so much. She couldn’t be bothered to hang around to see him through it. His heart was already damaged, she made it worse.”
“Holy shit,” she whispers. “I had no idea.”
I lay down and look up at the ceiling. “Of course you didn’t. No one outside of the club knew, except for me. That was only because Zane left me a voicemail crying about it.”
I think back to that time and I hate that I ignored his call. He needed someone and I wasn’t there.
“This is all kinda fucked up,” she says, laying next to me.
“It’s totally fucked up.”
My eyes start getting heavy and I’m losing the battle to keep them open. I guess it’s not going as good out there as Zane had hoped or as I hoped. I thought it was an easy decision. But, then again, I only know what I know.
I open my eyes and look around. I didn’t even realize I passed out. Turning my head I see Ivy sleeping beside me. I have no idea how long it’s been or why Zane hasn’t come in here. I get up and grab my phone seeing it’s four in the morning.
The need to use the bathroom takes over and I open the door. Finn is still standing there like a statue. He doesn’t say anything as I pass him to use the bathroom. When I’m done I come back out and peek down the hallway. I don’t see or hear
