Ignoring the pain. Ignoring the blood that now soaked my fingers, I grabbed the gun, turned onto my side, and fired. Gripping on for dear life, I fired at them again. I watched two of them go down, but I didn’t stop. My throat hurt and I thought maybe I was screaming, but I didn’t stop. Not until the gun wouldn’t fire anymore.
When I stopped to breathe, they were on the floor. The only one still standing. The only one covered in blood, shaking - was him.
His eyes were glazed over, but he smiled. “Good shot, baby.”
“Wyatt!” I screamed, pushing myself off the ground as he began to fall. I caught onto him just before he went to the ground, his hair soaked in blood. I held on tight, inhaling quickly, and he just looked at me with that stupid beautiful smile of his.
“Why…do …they… always …gotta…gotta ruin my day?” Just like that, his eyes closed.
“WYATT! WYATT! NO!” I screamed, frantically looking around for help, but no one was there. “WYATT!”
“Please no! Please!” I take it back! I’ll give it back! I’ll give him up, but please just let this be a dream! Please!
“So Callahans can cry,” a voice said behind me, and I felt the gun pressed against my skull. “I’ll let the commissioner know.”
BANG!
“No. I’ll let him know.”
Turning around, all I could see were the bright headlights…and then suddenly a dark shadow. The closer it came, the better I could see the leather of his jacket and then his face. I smiled, and everything blurred after that.
“I told him you’d grow a beard.” I just liked that everything was black, but I wanted to cry because this isn’t how you wake up from nightmares.
Wyatt, you wouldn’t leave without me, would you?
I have no future without you.
So don’t go.
Please don’t go.
Let’s go back.
Let’s just go back.
To the time when we were kids.
I want to go back.
Please.
NINETEEN
“He was my most beloved friend and my bitterest rival,
my confidant and my betrayer,
my sustainer and my dependent,
and scariest of all,
my equal.”
~ Gregg Levoy
ETHAN – AGE SEVEN
“Someone has a cold.”
“No, I don’t,” I grumbled, trying to get out of bed. But she pushed me back down.
“Ethan, if you get out of this bed again I’ll find a new one…one with chains, and tie you down!” she snapped at me.
Frowning, I yanked the covers up, then back over myself and turned away from her. But she hugged me anyway. “I know you wanted to go fishing with your dad. But being outside will just make it worse—”
“Wyatt’s going to beat my record.” It wasn’t fair! Why was he already so good at it! I had to practice forever, and he just did it like it was nothing.
“So what?” she said, and I turned over to look at her. Her black hair falling all on one side of her shoulder.
“Mom.”
“Don’t Mom me. So what if he beats you. You beat him at everything else.”
“I’m the older brother!”
“So what?”
Urgh!
“I’m supposed to be better!”
“Says who? Don’t you think your dad is better than Uncle Neal? He’s the younger brother.”
“You’re not making me feel better,” I grumbled, rolling over. “I don’t want to be like Uncle Neal.”
“What’s wrong with Uncle Neal?” she asked, pressing her hand on my head.
Sniffling, I rubbed my nose and told her. “He’s not the boss! Dad is because he’s the best. I have to be the best, too.”
“Ethan, you are way too young to be thinking about—”
“Nana says that Dad talked about being better than Uncle Neal all the time when they were little. But no one thought he could, and then next thing you know, he is!”
“So is that what you’re worried about?” she asked, brushing my hair. “Wyatt one day getting better than you?”
“Wyatt’s smart. He could do it,” I muttered, hoping she really didn’t hear me.
“Mio bel leoncino.” She sighed and kissed the back of my head. “I never want you to worry about this again, you hear me. Because you will be the boss. Wyatt will never take that away from you.”
Again, I turned to her slightly. “How do you know?”
She smiled, and it was her real smile. Running her hands through my hair, she said, “Because I promise that neither I or your father will ever teach him what he needs to become the boss. We’ll only teach that to you.”
“Really?” I asked slowly.
She nodded. “It’s the truth. Even now, I’m teaching him how to be your right hand. So watch, he won’t even go on this fishing trip without you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah he will, Mommy.”
“You don’t believe.”
I didn’t like how she said that.
“I believe you. But Wyatt…Wyatt always wants to beat me.”
“That’s because he looks up to you. He loves you. Don’t doubt me, Mio bel leoncino, I have plans for the both you, and how do my plans go?”
“Your way.” She made the best plans. Daddy even said so.
“So I mean it. You’ll be the boss one day, and Wyatt will be there fighting alongside you…you just have to play your part right.”
“What’s my part?” I asked, trying to figure it out.
She stared at me seriously…like when I was in trouble. “You have to promise, no matter what he says or does, no matter how badly he might hurt him…you’ll never give up on him. You’ll never let him fight alone.”
“What if he doesn’t want to be on my side?”
“You use your big brother powers and knock some sense into him until he gets back in line.” She smiled a little bit. That felt like a lot of work to me. “Being the oldest is a hard job, Ethan. You’ll get blamed for everything. You’ll sometimes feel alone, like the whole world is stepping on your neck, but if you don’t give up, if you don’t give into the pain, you’ll see. Your brother and sister will
