“I promise, Mommy,” I said, the scary look in her eyes disappeared, and she kissed my forehead as she stood up from my bed. “I’ll go make soup.”
“You’re making it?” I asked, my face bunching up.
She crossed her arms. “What’s wrong with my soup?”
“It tastes like feet.”
I didn’t say that. We both looked to the door where Wyatt stood.
“Excuse me?” Mom asked him.
“Your soup tastes like feet, Mommy.” He shrugged his shoulders at her as he came over to my bed. “That’s just gonna make him sicker, so I brought some from Nana!”
He lifted the lid for me to see.
I looked at him. His hair was getting so long he could tuck it behind ears now.
“You’re supposed to go fishing with Dad?”
“I was, but somebody got sick!” he said and then just pointed in my face.
“So, you could have still gone—”
“I can’t beat you if you’re not there,” he snapped at me, opening the tray and giving me the bottom bowl. I looked over to my mom, but she was already at the door. She gave me wink before stepping outside. Just like she said, he didn’t go without me.
Wyatt got up on his knees to pour the soup for me. “It’s the or...h…ora…zo...”
“Italian orzo spinach soup,” I pronounced it for him as he glared at me.
“Whatever, it’s your favorite soup, so here. Eat it and get better already,” he snapped and handed me the spoon, too.
I took the spoon, looking at his hair again. “You need a haircut.”
He reached up and grabbed his hair. “I don’t know how to cut it.”
“What?” I asked him. He moved and sat beside me, looking at my head like I was bug or something. “What?”
“I don’t want the same haircut as you.”
“You don’t have to get the same one as me.”
He frowned, crossing his arms and looking away. “Why do you get the cool one?”
It’s cool? “I can pick one for you,” I offered.
“I can do it.”
“Okay then,” I said, taking a bite of my soup, which really was good.
“Fine.” He sighed, and I looked to him, swallowing again. He took a deep breath and then smiled wide, pointing at me again. “You better pick me a cool one or…”
“Or what?”
“I’ll put mushrooms in your food forever.” He stuck his tongue out at me before getting off my bed. “I’m going to go get Dona, so we can watch a movie.”
“I’m supposed to be resting.”
“I’m supposed to be fishing, but you don’t see me complaining. So we’re watching a movie!” he yelled, marching to the door, slamming it behind him.
It was only when he was gone that I laughed.
He was so weird.
But kinda cool…
But I won’t ever tell him that, or he’ll just get a big head.
ETHAN
“Ethan!”
Lifting my head, I stared at her as she came toward me. She put her hands on my face and stared me in the eye.
“Wyatt? How is he?”
I just stared back into her eyes.
“Ethan?” She swallowed slowly. “Why are you not saying anything? Say something! How is Wyatt?! SPEAK!”
“Nana.” My voice was foreign even to me. It hurt to speak. “I promised my mother I’d never abandon him. That I’d never give up on him…and I did…I…I…abandoned…I abandoned my little brother and now he’s…he’s…”
My vision blurred as I stared at her. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. Rising from my chair, I stumbled, trying to get away from her…I could barely see straight. Somehow…I managed to get into the bathroom. Holding onto the sink, the little that was in my stomach come right back out of me again.
Why?
Why couldn’t I do what I needed to do?
Why couldn’t I keep them safe?
When did I start to fall apart?
Looking to my own reflection, I didn’t recognize myself. Who was this failure? Who was this utter disappointment? Why did it have my face?
“You left your brother because of a woman?” I questioned my mirrored self. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!”
Slamming my fists against the glass, I screamed as if he could hear me, as if that would somehow bring him back.
“Ethan!” I felt hands all over me.
“Let go! LET GO!” I screamed.
“STOP!” Sedric hollered, throwing me up against the shattered glass. His eyes were red and bloodshot as he glared at me. “You cannot break! DO YOU HEAR ME? We are all on the edge! We are hurt. You cannot take a break because we fucking need you to fix this! We need you, Ethan. We need you...urgh!”
His grip loosened as his body shook, overcome with grief.
I didn’t know what to feel anymore.
What to think.
I slid to the floor, realizing that everything I feared had come to pass…
I was Ethan Antonio Giovanni Callahan, the son who the ruined the family, who lost the kingdom, son of the former head of the Irish mob, Liam Alec Callahan, and former head of the Italian mafia, ex-governor Melody Nicci Giovanni Callahan…a disgrace to both.
I didn’t deserve to be their son.
If they could see me now they’d kill me and be right for it.
I’d broken my promises to both of them.
ETHAN – AGE SEVENTEEN
“You don’t smile anymore,” he said to me.
I glanced up from the book I was reading to look at him as he watched the sun set over the tree lines.
“Does smiling accomplish anything?” I asked, looking back at my book.
“It makes you more approachable.”
“I don’t want to be approached, so I guess it works out.” I flipped to the next page.
“So how do you plan on keeping the family together,” he questioned, taking out a cigarette from his coat jacket.
“With knowledge and power,” I answered.
“That’s only half of the equation,” he snickered, lighting the cigarette but not daring to smoke it. Instead, he just held it as it burned. “Love and family keeps the other half.”
“And this has what to do with me smiling?” I questioned.
“How does the family know you love them? That you are there for them if
