“She?” Lindy asked, her face brightening.
I nodded. “We found out for sure that it’s a girl and…” I stopped, remembering the expression on César’s face when we had heard: pure love. I welled up again, and disgustedly swabbed with my wet napkin.
“It’s a girl? Oh my God, just like me!” Lindy squealed. She patted her stomach excitedly. “I’m already sure that they’re going to be best friends. Now, if we could only get Katie on this bandwagon.” She stared pointedly at her friend.
Katie just laughed. “Someday! I’m not rushing things with Davis. I need to take this a little more slowly, but we’ll get there. Marriage is definitely happening if I have anything to say about it, and also kids.”
“César’s family wants us to get married,” I told them. “His dad said it when we went down to visit and I lost it completely. Like, I almost fainted.”
“Why?” Lindy asked me. “Why would marrying him be so awful? I thought you liked César.”
“I do!” I told her. “He’s amazing. He’s just about…holy shit, if I don’t stop crying, I’m going to flood this stupid restaurant!” I gave myself a moment to chill and then forged ahead. “I am never, ever getting married. César and I were a one-night stand, and that’s it. I don’t want anything more with him. With anyone.”
Katie and Lindy both nodded, kind of, but not like they really got it. This type of thinking was obviously foreign to them.
“I want to have fun in my life,” I tried to explain. “It’s too short to get bogged down with one person and stuck with him forever. My mom was the same way. She wanted to be free and to enjoy herself. That’s what I want, too—no commitments, no long-term.” I shrugged. “That’s just how I am. I won’t be tied to anyone.”
“Except for her.” Lindy raised her eyebrows and pointed at my stomach, hidden by the shirt. “You’re certainly tied there.”
“Yeah, but…” This was so frustrating. I wasn’t explaining it well. It wasn’t sounding right, even to my own ears.
“No, I get it,” Lindy suddenly said. “My brother is the same way. He’s dating, like, five or so different women right now and he says he’ll never get married. He has no desire to, not at all. He likes his independence.”
“Exactly!” I agreed. “Like, this guy I’ve been talking to—”
“What? You’re seeing someone else while you’re pregnant with César’s baby?” Katie asked. She looked shocked.
“No, I’m not,” I said, annoyed. “We’ve just been texting after I met him at Roy’s Tavern.”
“You went to Roy’s?” Katie’s eyes got even bigger.
I suddenly remembered how pissed off I had been about César asking her out and how stupid she had been to say no to him. “I’m pregnant, not dead!” I told her angrily. “I can still do things, like go to a disgusting bar if I want to.” I moderated my tone. “And I don’t want to go to Roy’s, not anymore. I don’t want to go out with this guy, either, or with anyone else. It’s just nice that he’s interested in me, and not because of the baby.”
“I thought no one knew about you being pregnant,” Lindy said. “I’m losing the thread here.”
“I think Camdyn means, that’s what she thinks César is interested in,” Katie said, her voice a lot gentler. “He’s only talking about a future together because she’s pregnant. That must be pretty hurtful.”
Maybe Katie wasn’t as dumb as I had previously accused her. “There is no way in hell that César would want us to be a couple, if not for this,” I agreed. I put my hand on my tummy. “I know he thinks I’m pretty or whatever and we have a lot of fun hanging out.” That was what had led us up the road to Pregnancy-ville. “He really regrets the night we spent together. He literally ran out of my house the next morning, and later he told me that I was a huge mistake, the biggest of his life.”
Katie looked pained. “Oh. Ouch.”
“I don’t even know why I’m even saying this, because I don’t actually care about how little he would want to be with me. Despite what you guys think, César really isn’t running around with a bunch of different women. He isn’t some kind of playboy man-whore. Maybe he’s flirty, but I live with him, and he just doesn’t roll like that.” As far as I knew, he hadn’t even been out with that Arielle in a long time. “He’s actually a family guy,” I insisted, although they looked doubtful. “I could see him very happily married with a wife and a lot of kids lined up in life jackets on his boat and…and I’m not into that. No way. So really, we’re very incompatible.” Now I had lost the thread, just like Lindy had. What was I trying to prove to them, that I didn’t want him and he didn’t want me, so everything was perfect? Then why was I crying again?
Lindy shoved more napkins over. “Let’s tackle one problem at a time, because I’m getting overwhelmed by your life,” she said.
“Lindy!” Katie scolded.
“Sorry, it’s true,” Lindy told her friend. “We’re going to have to break this up into manageable parts. Part one would be to tell your friends about the baby. Part two is us having a party to celebrate you and her, because you should be celebrating this.”
“That was what César’s mom said, too. She’ll want to fly up here for the shower,” I said.
“So you’ll let us do it?” Lindy questioned, and I found myself nodding.
“Yes. Thank you so much for offering.”
“Perfect! But it does have to be soon, because as you said, I’m going to pop out this baby shortly. You’re
