All this time she’d thought she wasn’t into sex but in fact, she realised, she had never felt real desire. Nine years of average sex and not saying what you need in life or in bed will do that to you.
But she felt it now when she was around Henry. The ache in every part of her body, needing to be touched, filled, sated.
If she could rate her favourite things about Henry, it would be his arms, his hands, his thighs, his legs, his forearms, his smile. Oh, it was everything. She climbed out of bed, and wandered to the window to peer at the van.
The door of the van was open and Henry came to the door, a tea mug in hand. She could see the steam rising from it. He looked up at her window and smiled and waved.
Dammit, she thought. Now she looked like a creeper, spying on him in her ugly Justin Bieber T-shirt that Judy had given her as a joke present. She didn’t have a washing machine and was running out of clothes and refused to ask Henry if she could wash her knickers in his machine, so to speak.
He had offered at dinner when she mentioned it in passing but she refused his help because she already had taken too much from him and washing was so intimate.
Pulling on jeans and a sweater with tiny ribbon bows in different colours sewn onto it that her mother had given her before she died, and one she had never worn because of those tiny bows, she dashed downstairs and outside.
‘I need to go to the village and see Rachel about her mum, and then I need to buy a washing machine.’
‘Cup of tea for your troubles?’ He stepped back into the van and handed her a mug.
‘You are almost perfect, you know,’ she said as she took a sip of the strong tea at perfect drinking temperature.
‘Oh? What would make me perfect?’
She wondered if this was him flirting. Clara tried to think of a flaw but couldn’t. ‘I don’t know but you are pretty clever at things and you know how I like my tea.’
‘Before you get a washing machine, you’ll need a plumber as you don’t have any taps for a machine.’
‘Oh God, do you know a plumber?’
‘I do.’ He nodded. ‘I can call them and see if they’re around.’
‘That’s wonderful, thank you.’ They sipped their tea in comfortable silence.
‘It’s so peaceful here.’ She looked up at the trees and their green canopy.
Pansy popped her head out, around her father’s back.
‘Can I come and see Rachel?’
‘Not today, darling, we’re heading up to see about school, remember?’ Henry said to her.
Pansy disappeared singing a rhyme about school and Clara smiled at him.
‘So… school? Does this mean you’re staying in Merryknowe for a while?’ she asked carefully, not wanting to tread on any toes or fragile feelings. She knew this was a big deal to Henry and she also knew it would be arrogant to think it had anything to do with her.
Henry shrugged. ‘For the time being. There is a lot to do on the cottage and she’s going to be behind if I don’t start her soon.’
‘She will love it,’ said Clara.
‘I hope so.’
They looked at each other. A thousand things came into Clara’s head that she wanted to say to him, but instead she said, ‘I blocked Piles.’
Henry raised his eyebrows. ‘Sorry?’
‘Piles, I blocked him; he rang me and said he missed me and I blocked him.’
Henry started to laugh. ‘Piles?’
‘Oh, it’s Giles but he’s such a pain in the arse I called him Piles.’
Henry laughed even harder.
‘And I blocked him, because I don’t love him anymore. Not sure I ever did.’
‘Okay, that’s good. A wise decision,’ said Henry nodding and wiping his eyes.
Clara felt her cheeks turn hot and she handed back the tea. ‘Anyway. I need to dash.’
She ran back into the house and grabbed her phone and dialled the bakery.
‘Rachel? Hi, can I come and see you? And can I bring my washing?’
She gathered her washing, which was rather a large amount, and dragged it out to the car in a moving bag.
‘Do you need a hand?’ Henry asked, as he was gathering the old reed from the roof from the garden and putting it in a pile on the outside of the fence.
‘No, thank you,’ said Clara, not looking at him. The words, ‘I blocked Piles’ rang in her ears. Seriously, she needed a muzzle when she was around Henry. She just said everything and nothing all at once.
‘Where are you taking your washing?’
‘To Rachel’s. She said I can borrow her machine and dryer.’
‘I would have done it for you,’ he said. ‘I have a machine.’
Clara looked up at him. ‘I just said I blocked Piles. The last thing I need is my knickers in your machine. I mean I’m really overstepping boundaries here.’
‘You are honestly the funniest person I have ever met.’
She sighed. ‘That’s the trouble. I don’t try to be, I just think I don’t have a filter.’
She opened the car door and pushed the box of clothes inside onto the back seat, using her bottom for the final push, and then got into the driver’s seat.
‘I don’t think you’re mad, I think you’re fantastic, and you were right to block Piles. He sounds like a huge idiot to let you go.’
Clara felt butterflies migrate inside her and she gripped the steering wheel.
‘Be careful, Henry, a girl might think you’re giving her ideas.’
She turned on the car and then backed out into the laneway and drove up towards the village.
Too much? Oh whatever, life was short and she really couldn’t embarrass herself any further than she already had. She
