She fell a few more times walking up to thehouse, tripping on various things buried in the snow, her Nubuckclogs no competition for hiking up a snow and ice covered mountain.She could not feel her feet and was losing the ability to controlher legs, making her even clumsier in the cold. A small part of herbrain realized that she was probably injured from falling, but thecold prevailed over all other feelings. She could finally make outthe front of a house in the purple pink sky of a snowfall,Elizabeth vaguely recognize that her mother would be appalled atwhat she was doing. Agnes existed in a world made of fear. Shewould call Elizabeth crazy for knocking on a stranger's door.Didn't she know that the person inside was probably a rapist? Hermother was fearful of everything. Agnes called Elizabeth everymorning to make sure that the children survived the night. Hermother was a worst-case-scenario, glass-half-empty person. It was awonder that Elizabeth was remotely sane.
But at that moment, her tenuous grip on sanitywas slipping. She could practically hear her mother screaming ather even as she listlessly raised her hand to knock on the door.She could not generate enough force to knock hard. She summoned allher energy and knocked again, this time, sagging into the door withher shoulder.
She closed her eyes and prayed that someonewould answer, that she would get out of the cold. She was so cold,so numb. She heard a bark and footsteps and summoned all herremaining strength to try to stand up straight. Her face was emptyas the faded red wooden door opened up a bit. She saw a facepeeking out. A man. That was all Elizabeth was able to register.The briefest of moments passed while he registered himself that itwas a small, nearly frozen woman standing on hisdoorstep.
Elizabeth could barely speak. She managed tocroak out, "Flat tire, battery dead." He immediately understood andguided her inside. He started talking. A lot. He seemed to betalking to her and to the dog at the same time. Elizabeth washaving difficulty figuring out what exactly he was saying. Sheheard that there were words coming out of his mouth, but she wasunable to process any of it. She just stood there, unable to move,frozen. She knew that there must be warmth in the house. There hadto be, but she could smell the fire in the fireplace. She could notfeel the warmth. She could not feel anything. She was numb down toher soul.
"Oh my God, Liza? Are you allright?"
Elizabeth just stared into the concerned facelooking down at her. How did he know her name? No one called herLiza anymore. She hadn't been Liza since she was in college. Shewas so confused. She looked down at the chocolate lab who wassniffing and now licking her hand. She knew she should be able tofeel it, but she couldn't. Numb.
Elizabeth slowly turned her head from lookingdown at the dog to looking up at the concerned eyes of the man. Sheregistered they were blue. She felt as if she were moving in slowmotion. Sound traveled as if she were underwater, muffled andgarbled.
"Liza? Are you hurt? You are Liza, aren't you?We need to get you warmed up. How long were you outside for? Liza?Ma'am? You need to warm up. We need to get you out of these wetclothes. Ma'am?"
He set to work, slowly. She just watched him,her eyes huge. He peeled off her soaked coat. The dog continued tolick her hands. A small part of her thought this was the time whenshe should be afraid. She could already hear her mother screamingat her. Elizabeth let out a small sigh. The man stopped abruptlypulled back, as if she were hot stove.
"Are you okay? I'm sorry, but we've got a getyou out of these cold wet clothes and see if you have hypothermia.Can you do it, Ma'am?"
Elizabeth managed to give the tiny shake of herhead and closed her eyes. She didn't have the strength to lift herarm, and she wasn't sure that her hands would function enough tomake a fist, let alone possess the dexterity to disrobe. She wasutterly helpless. He kept talking as he worked, his voice trying tosoothe her. He explained, step-by-step, what he was going to do.What he was going to take off next. He bent over and lifted hersoaked pant leg, looking for the top of her shoe. He mutteredsomething about no socks under his breath. He had slid his handdown the side of her leg, as one would do with a horse, and sheinstinctively lifted her foot, steadying herself by placing herhand on his shoulder.
She steadied herself, she felt his upper backmuscles contract. She pulled her hand back slightly. Perhaps hertouch made him uncomfortable. Perhaps he was as unused to beingtouched as she was. He continued to speak to her in and soft,soothing tones, as one does to a child or pet. He stripped off herfrozen clog and Elizabeth reflexively placed her foot on the fadedwooden floor.
"I've got to do the other one,Ma'am."
He was being so polite, but she really hatedbeing called ma'am. It made her feel even older and moreinsignificant than she usually felt. It made her feel like she wasbeing dismissed. Somewhere, she found a tiny voice and croaked,"Elizabeth" through her still chattering teeth. He stopped andpulled back suddenly. He was obviously shocked to hear her speak,since she had not previously answered any of his questions. Hepaused for the briefest of moments, regrouped andsmiled.
"Okay then Elizabeth, when did you stop goingby Liza?"
She squinted at him, trying to figure out whohe was. He was obviously someone who used to know her. It hurt herbrain to try and think. She would figure it outeventually.
This time, he didn't flinch when she put herhand on his shoulder. He stood up, but looked uncomfortable again."Elizabeth," he said, the name sounding foreign on his tongue, "Youneed to take the rest of your clothes off. You've got to do this toget warm."
She nodded, giving him the go-ahead. He slowly,as if she were a wild animal, grasped the bottom of her
