"Elizabeth? Are you up there?"Peter was yelling from the bottom of the stairs. She hadn't evenheard the door. She swallowed. "Yep, up here. Do you needsomething?" He usually didn't address her by name unless he wantedsomething.
"Are you making dinner?"
She rolled her eyes. Of course,that was what he wanted. "Just starting it now. I'll be rightdown."
"Okay. I'm prettyhungry."
She pulled her hair back up into aponytail. The end of it was now long enough to brush the back ofher shoulders as she moved her head. It reminded her of the sensualfeeling that she had felt when she had taken her hair down in frontof Jack. Irritated by it, she quickly twisted the ponytail into amakeshift bun and angrily used some bobby pins to stab it inplace.
All through dinner, Elizabeth triedto think of a way to tell Peter that she wanted to move. Shecouldn't figure out a way to casually bring that up intoconversation without really filling him in. She didn't want to lieto him, either. She had no choice but to tell Peter what was goingon. She knew that she needed to tell him anyway. He was going to beso angry. He had such a temper. She hoped that he did not dosomething stupid, like attack Jack.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: June28, 2012
Oh, Peter was mad all right. Maybeit was her delivery. Maybe he had had a bad day at work. Maybe hewas tired. Maybe he was just an asshole. It didn't matter, becausehe was mad.
She waited until the kids wereupstairs, watching television in her room. "Peter, I need to talkto you."
Silence.
"Peter, I need to talk to you."This time, a little more imperatively.
He sighed. "What?"
"Can you look at me?" She stood infront of him. He shifted his position on the couch to look aroundher.
"I'm watching this."
"Peter, this isimportant."
He sighed again and finally lookedat her standing there. Now that she had his attention, she wasn'tsure where to start. She opened her mouth to say something, but nowords came out. She closed her mouth, swallowed, took a deepbreath, and tried again.
"It's about Nancy and herex-husband's book."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Hesaid, slamming the remote down into the couch cushion. Elizabethwas taken aback, as Peter rarely swore. He continued. "I had acrappy day at work, I have to mow the lawn, and you want to talkabout stupid-ass gossip? Can't you leave me alone?"
"No, Peter, I don't want to talk toyou about stupid-ass gossip." Her fingers made air quotes. "This isvery important."
He gave her a disgusted look. Hisknee-jerk reaction surprised her. "How important can it be? It'sjust a stupid book."
She steeled herself and continued."I told you that Nancy's ex-husband wrote this book, and it is veryexplicit. It's basically BDSM erotica."
"What the hell is 'BDSM'exactly?"
Her face reddened slightly. "Um, Ithink it stands for bondage, dominance, and sado-masochism. Orsomething like that. Anyway, from the way the book is written, itis pretty apparent that it is about someone in town. And everyone'sbeen talking, trying to find out who it is about."
"Really, Elizabeth? I don't see whyyou are wasting my time with this." Peter was getting impatient.Elizabeth was losing her courage.
Looking down at her feet, shemumbled, "It's about me." She was nervously picking at hercuticles. She sank down on the ottoman and waited for Peter to saysomething.
He did not respond. She waited amoment and then worked up the nerve to look up. Peter was watchingTV again. "Did you hear me?" she said louder. "The book is aboutme. It's me having sex all over town."
"What?" Well, that got hisattention.
"I mean, not really, obviously. Butthe main character in the book is supposed to be me."
"Why on earth would you think sucha thing?"
Elizabeth took a deep breath. "Um,last October. I guess not last October, but the one before that.Columbus Day weekend. About eighteen months ago, you were away. Weweren't getting along really well. You had been away for almost twoweeks, and I was really burnt out. Susan invited me up to her housefor a gathering on a Friday. My mom took the kids, and I starteddriving up the mountains to her house."
"I'm failing to see where the BDSMcomes in."
"Hang on, I'm getting there.Anyway, it was sleeting, and freezing rain while I was driving upthere. I was worried about deer, and I hit a pothole. I got a flattire. I tried to change it, but I knocked over the hubcap with thelug nuts in it, and I couldn't see to find them. I had also leftthe lights on while I was doing this, so the car battery died. Iwas very upset and feeling very depressed. I wasn't dressed for theweather, which had turned to snow and ice in the mountains. Iwasn't sure if I was going to make it," she paused. "Or if I wantedto."
"What do you mean bythat?"
"What you think I mean Peter. Ithought maybe I should just stay there until I died."
"Are you fucking kidding me? Youwere going to kill yourself over a flat tire? How unstable can yoube? Maybe you shouldn't be alone with the kids."
"Peter, just let me finish. And no,I wasn't going to kill myself over a flat tire. I wanted to diebecause I was so depressed about my life. I was overwhelmed withwork and parenting. You were never here, and when you were, all wedid was fight. We had no marriage left. I had failed at marriage. Ifelt like a failure as a mother. But then I realized how much Iwould be failing the kids if I didn’t keep going. So I got up, andnearly froze to death walking. I finally got to a house, and I wasso cold. I had frostbite starting and hypothermia. A guy answeredthe door. He seemed to know me, but I think I was in shock. Myhands were so cold that I couldn't move my fingers. He had to helpme get undressed and he put me in the shower to warm up. He gave
