Blue and Bessie arrived at the clinic. Dr Boogaloo was busy tightening the skin on a djembe drum.
‘Morning, Blue,’ said the Doctor. ‘Be with you in a minute.’
Blue sat down and waited. The strange tune with the Alaskan punk singer that played on the iBike that morning went round and round in her head. Blue began to hum along. ‘Hum mmm hum hum hummm … mmm.’
Dr Boogaloo’s head jerked up. His djembe drum fell to the floor. ‘You’re humming, Blue!’
‘Sorry, Dr Boogaloo, that iBike tune’s stuck in my head. It’s going round and round. Sorry if I’m distracting you. I’ll stop humming. Maybe it will go away.’
‘No, no, no, Blue! Don’t stop! That’s your musical immune system. It’s starting to work!’
‘It is?’
‘Yes! It is! Most people think songs just get randomly stuck in the head. There’s nothing random about it at all! It’s the body’s musical immune system carrying out a very precise operation.’
‘Oh. So songs stuck in your head are good?’
‘Indeed,’ said the Doctor, clearly excited, ‘very good indeed. Your body’s musical immune system knows exactly what it needs. Everyone’s does. Take for example teenage girls and their obsession with pop music. Pop music is extremely therapeutic for girls of that age who are growing in all sorts of wonderful ways. And so is screaming. Screaming along to a bit of pop music helps them find their true voice. Otherwise, they’d become too quiet. Now, that song you were humming. That’s an Alaskan punk singer, if I’m not mistaken. Of course, of course it is. With an orchestra, no doubt. I should have thought of that sooner. Ah, thank goodness for Bessie. She’s the magic in my wand, as always. Come with me, Blue! To the Reel-to-Reel room! I have some recordings you need to listen to. And here, take these.’
The Doctor grabbed a pair of old wooden castanets off the shelf and handed them to Blue. On each side were painted women dancing the flamenco. Their arms and hands were outstretched, curled above their heads like smoke. Their long skirts a crashing wave of red ruffles.
‘From now on, keep them with you,’ said the Doctor. ‘At ALL times. Come on. There’s no time to waste!’
CHAPTER 13
The Reel-to-Reel Room
Dr Boogaloo and Blue headed off for the Reel-to-Reel room at a cracking pace. The wind was blowing, unclasping yellow leaves from the stand of tupelo trees next to the pond.
Dr Boogaloo picked up a fallen leaf and handed it to Blue. The tips were starting to turn red.
‘Looks like we’re on schedule. By the end of this week, the leaf’s transformation will be complete. And hopefully, dear, so will yours.’
Blue smiled, jogging to keep up with the Doctor’s long-legged trot. She crossed her fingers behind her back. Blue hadn’t told the Doctor and Bessie about her mother’s ultimatum. She didn’t want to offend them. And, quite simply, she couldn’t imagine not seeing the Boogaloos. If her mother’s ultimatum had made her realise anything, it was how much she’d come to love being with Bessie and the Doctor. Although they wanted to help her, the Boogaloos accepted Blue just the way she was, laughter or no laughter. They didn’t mind that she wasn’t perfect and that was a wonderful feeling.
From the outside, the Reel-to-Reel room looked like an old log cabin. But when they stepped inside, everything familiar disappeared.
Day became night. Inside became out. And small became enormous!
‘Sorry, it’s a bit hard to see in here,’ said the Doctor. ‘Give it a minute or two and your eyes will adjust. The darkness is necessary, I’m afraid. Increases the strength of the recordings. Recorded music’s not nearly as powerful as live. I’ll get things started – need to fire up my machines. Back in a banjo twang.’
Apparently able to see perfectly well, the Doctor strode off into the darkness. Blue stood still, too scared to move left or right. After a few minutes her eyes began to adjust, just like the Doctor had said. A sea of tiny lights appeared, puncturing the huge empty darkness.
Arms outstretched to stop herself from bumping into anything, Blue slid her feet along the floor towards the tiny lights.
The shape of the room began to emerge. It was irregular, like a glowing cloud of space dust. As she got closer, she could see the lights more clearly. Each one was attached to one of the Doctor’s round silver tape boxes, which were messily stacked on thousands of shelves that lined the entire cavernous room. Each light lit up a label with the details of the recordings inside: instruments used, musicians who played, the songs sung, location and date of recording, even what the weather was like! The shelves were labelled too, with each recording filed away under the disorder it was used to treat.
As she browsed the shelves of the Reel-to-Reel room, Blue’s eyes popped. She was shocked. Did people really suffer from such conditions? While she recognised some, the rest made Blue feel like No Laughing Syndrome was positively ordinary!
BUS STOP DISORDERS
* Can’t Stop Disco Dancing At
The Bus Stop Syndrome
* Urgent Need To Fart Every Time
The Bus Stops Syndrome
* Can’t Stop Playing My Recorder
At Bus Stops, Even When People
Ask Me Nicely Not To Syndrome
CLOTHING DISORDERS
* Forever Forgetting To Wear
Underpants Syndrome
* Will Only Wear Socks On My
Ears Syndrome
* All Shoes Even Slippers Must
Be High Heels Syndrome
CUTLERY DISORDERS
* Cups, Plates And Glasses Leap
Out Of My Hands Syndrome
* Steal Forks Wherever I Go Syndrome
* Plants Cutlery In The Garden And Believes
It Will Grow Syndrome
DANCE DISORDERS
* Tap Dances While Sleeping Syndrome
(see also SLEEP DISORDERS)
* Dances Like An Emu Syndrome
* Can’t Think Unless Dancing Syndrome
* Can’t Stop Dancing Syndrome
(more serious than it sounds)
DRINKING DISORDERS
* Will Only Drink Slushies Syndrome
(common in children)
*
