Eyes wide, shegasped at his menacing words. “You wouldn’t hurt me.” She attemptedto reach for him, but he managed to avoid her once again. Holdinghis arms up away from her, he backed up as she continued tostubbornly pursue him.
“Only I might just hurt you! Ever thought of that?” hehissed.
“Please, I don’t understand…” Stifling an unwelcome sob, shefolded her shaky hands to her chest and gazed into his stormyexpression.
“Well, open your fucking eyes!” Best to rip the bandage offquick, he recalled Crispin saying. Perhaps he’d been right from theget go. “Grow the fuck up. You’re a woman, still acting like achild. Take some responsibility for yourself, damn you and yournaivety! You want us all at your feet, but that’s where yourtiresome innocence has you fooled, sweetheart. You think they careabout you when all they really want is a shot at you.”
“I don’t have to listen to this.” Becky turned tail and ran forthe back door. Whoever it was back there was not the Kelley sheknew and loved, the Kelley who’d nursed her back to health, caredfor her in her helplessness. He was not the same person who’d stoodby her at her granny’s funeral or the loving friend who’d cradledher to sleep on those many nights.
“Damn it all to fuck!” Kelley scoffed, kicking himself. Itkilled him to see her run from him. She should be running towardshim, not away from him. In his heart, he silently screamed for herto come back. Unfortunately, his selfish pride won over onceagain.
Chapter 34
In the daysthat followed, Becky spent most of her time away from herhousemates. The last thing she wanted was to lead them on.Obviously, that’s what had gotten her into this predicament in thefirst place. Gracie had it right when she warned this would happen,and Kelley had confirmed it with his hurtful words.
Rather thanattempt to move out again, she decided to avoid them altogether.When they were downstairs she’d be upstairs. If they were painting,she’d watch television. If one of them happened to come along andjoin her, she’d quietly get up and leave the room. She kept herconversations with them short, sweet and to the point and only thenif they initiated it. She had started taking her lunch breaks inthe cafeteria regardless of the fact that she spent them alone. Shefelt it was the only way to deal with the unsavoury situation.Furthermore, in an effort to avoid them on her way to and fromclasses, she often hid behind tree trunks and bushes if they sohappened to drive by in their cars.
She’d takenKelley’s hurtful eye-opening words to heart. She wasn’t naiveenough not to understand what he’d meant that night. It hurt tothink that Dorian and Crispin didn’t so much think of her as afriend but as a possible sexual conquest. Still, the self-imposedisolation hurt even more. There were times when she missed themterribly. Why did it have to be this way? Was there no middleground?
Havingcoincidently met Gracie in the cafeteria one day, Becky filled herin on the situation, hoping for some clarification.
“Kelley’s right. Although, he could have been nicer about it. Itold you, he’s too tense,” Gracie said without hesitation. “Don’tkid yourself, Becky. Guys are all the same. The only reason they’reyour friend is because they think they have a shot at you. Not thatthere’s anything wrong with that.”
“How is that not wrong? Don’t they see me as a real person,with feelings? Am I just a female of the species tothem?”
“Of course, they see you, Becky. Poor girl, you’re all bent outof shape over nothing. Okay, take Crispin for example. I know forsure that he likes you. He talks about you all the time withouteven realizing he’s doing it. Not in a sexual manner but with anoh, what’s the word, a fondness?” Becky nodded, but theunderstanding did not quite reach her troubled eyes. “He thinkshighly of you, silly. But that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t jump yourbones if you gave him half a chance.”
“But… that’s just not fair.”
“It is what it is. That doesn’t mean you can’t hang with them.It’s just human nature.”
“I’m not trying to lead them on. I’m just beingmyself.”
“You’re doing nothing wrong,” Gracie said, feeling sorry forthe confused girl. “Don’t ever blame yourself for their actions.It’s their problem if they can’t control their hormones. Besides,Kelley’s just being jealous.”
“Perhaps you’re right, but I think there’s somethingmore.”
“Well, that’s where you come in. If you truly want him, youhave to take charge of the situation and make it clear to him thathe’s the one for you.”
“Are you sure you don’t believe in monogamy?” Becky asked witha reluctant smile.
“I never said I didn’t believe in it, just that I don’tpractice it.”
***
As the dayswent by, Becky kept her relationships with each of them on the coolside, lest she inadvertently send them the wrong message. Kelley,on the other hand, all but ceased to exist to her. In fact, shecouldn’t even stand to look at him. It hurt too much.
Not that he’dgone out of his way to be friendly with her either. As far as shewas concerned, that was for the best anyway since all she couldthink about doing was kissing him. The sexy bastard!
How could hepossibly blame her for attracting unwanted attention when he ranabout the house like a lithe and powerful panther with his longflowing hair. Damn him and his narrow waist, lean hips and longleather clad legs. Did he not realize what seeing him in those meshshirts did to her? He also obviously didn’t know how overwhelminglysexy a silhouette he cut when all decked out in his ultra-Goth,militia-inspired gear. And, of course, that moody broody thing hedid with his beautiful face, well, that was just unfair!
***
“What do you want to watch?” Dorian asked, flipping through theendless channels on the television.
“Who cares, just pick something,” Kell groaned.
Hearing thesoft padding of Becky’s footsteps, all four Goths sat up straight,oozing with barely contained
