“I should talk to him.”
“That’s a good idea. If he bites your head off, don’t besurprised. It’s how he copes.”
“That much I know,” she said, putting on her coat andboots.
Chapter 54
Taking a deepbreath, Becky entered the garage. She found Crispin there, sittingin the dark, gently playing his unplugged electric guitar. Hepaused for a moment in acknowledgement of her presence and thenresumed his idle strumming.
Here it comes.The moment he had been dreading. The moment of truth had arrived.His plans were to distance himself from her, from everyone, butespecially from Becky. It would be a true test of his will. Hefigured it would be easy enough to distance himself from the othersbecause, well, they were guys. They might not even notice. But withBecky, it was going to require a lot more to stay away from her. Hewould have to basically cut her off, emotionally and physically. Nomore cuddles, no more playful tussles, no more nothing. Thequickest and kindest way to accomplish his goal was to becruel.
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” he all but groaned whenall she did was stand there in front of him, staring at him withthose eyes.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to interrupt,” she said, digging herhands into her coat pockets. All the way home in the car, she hadpictured running into the house, right into Crispin’s arms. In herimagination, he would have been first to greet her. While she likedall of her housemates equally, she felt a special kinship withCrispin. Perhaps because it had been so hard to win him over in thefirst place. Perhaps it was because he was so beautifully tragicand she like many a girl would love nothing more than to save thebeautiful broken boy from further sadness. Yet in her heart, sheknew it went deeper than that.
“I wanted to see you,” she said, purposely ignoring hisvenom.
“Whatever for?” He continued strumming.
“Because I missed you,” she said, gingerly approaching hisside.
At that, hesnickered and gave his head a shake. “Why in the world would you dothat?”
“Do what? Miss you?”
“Just stop… Don’t lie to me,” he said with a heavy sigh. “Don’tpretend.”
“I am not lying!” she said indignantly. As aware of his ploy asshe was, he always had a way of getting through herdefences.
“You and Kell were together. Probably fucking your brains outthe entire time. I’m sure the last thing you were missing was me.And if you were thinking of me, I would seriously suggest you getme out of your dirty little mind.” He paused for effect. “For Ihave no such interest in the likes of you.”
There thatshould do it. He waited, watching the inevitable tears well up inher eyes. Any second now, there would come an indignant slap to hisface. Then she would turn and leave him to his misery. Done.Signed, sealed and delivered. But, of course, what she actually didwas the last thing he expected.
“You’re the one who’s lying,” Becky whispered, stepping inclose, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Dormouse, get off me…”
“Sweet prickly Goth, you don’t mean a word of it.” She giggled,resisting his half-hearted attempts to pull away fromher.
“You think you’re so smart.” He chuckled reluctantly. Despiteall his well-laid plans, in one swift move, she had obliterated hisgauntlet. He’d been a fool to think he could resist her. His onlyoption now was to retaliate with equal armour. Placing his guitardown, he then dragged her between his knees.
“Why do you have to be so despicable?” She squirmed away fromhis ear-seeking nose.
“Because you’re so damn irresistible. I have to do what I canto keep you at bay.” Trapping her between his knees, he had her athis mercy, caged within his arms. “And if you weren’t Kell’s you’dbe mine. I’d tie you up, tickle you silly and have you laughing allthe way into oblivion.”
“That’s more like it,” she agreed, squirming as he continued totorture her with cuddles. “Oh, Crispin, you’re atreasure.”
At her words,he relented his torture. “And just think, all this could beyours.”
“You know I wouldn’t turn you away if I wasn’t in love withKelley.”
It was thehonest truth. If Crispin were hers, she would never give him reasonto doubt his worth. To her, he was priceless. Deep down, she knewher heart belonged to Kell, but Crispin was not far behind in heraffections. At the same time, she realized that he should never besecond best. What she wanted most, was for him to find someone ofhis own, someone to love him, to treasure him, someone worthy ofhim.
“Well, it’s a good thing you’ve got Kell. Because you don’t doa thing for me,” he teased, dragging her up onto his lap. “Too punyfor one thing, too willful and stubborn.”
He loved her,yes he did, but his love for her was of a special kind that onlymade sense to the two of them. Well, perhaps to their otherhousemates as well. He was ever grateful for Kell’s understandingof his affections for Becky. A lesser man might be threatened bytheir unique bond.
“Haha! You wish,” she said, clasping his cheeks between herpalms.
“Aw… it’s no use. I can’t fight you off. I love you all toomuch, especially you, silly little twit. Even if in the end youdestroy what’s left of me.”
“Destroy you? I would never hurt you.”
“Not on purpose, but you will eventually,” he said with a heavysigh. “One day, you’ll want me gone. You and Kell, you’llsee.”
“Not this again… Crispin, that’s not going to happen. Ipromise!”
“Listen, Becky, don’t make such promises. They’ll only end uphurting us all.”
“Can’t we just try our best to be good to each other while weare able?” she asked, recalling Kell’s words from earlier. All theyhad was today. Today she wanted them all to be together, to staytogether. “I want you here. I want to be here with you. I want allof us to be here together. Don’t you see how important you are tome? I don’t take family lightly. Not after having all those I lovedtaken away from me,” she said with a hitch in her voice. “And Idon’t care that no one else wanted you. I want you. I want
