The third man looked down on her. He drew back a hand and slapped her, the sound echoing off of the nearby homes. She fell to the ground, her face splashing into a puddle of coke and ketchup that had spilled from a torn garbage bag. She was unconscious, a fact that made him roar with long-repressed anger. He continued to beat her as Allan and Raine watched, snickering the entire time.
When her face was no longer recognizable as that of a human being, they emptied out a Glad bag full of garbage and stuffed her naked, bloody body inside, leaving it there with all the other trash that they had no more use for.
“Get out of here,” the third man said to Allan and Raine. “Go find that goddamn kid that came to the house last night. Xander Drew.” He nodded, then repeated, “Find him.”
He walked the five feet to his car, casually got in and drove away, whistling that damned song from Alice in Wonderland, without a care in the world.
Raine had a car as well and offered to give Allan a ride, but he chose to walk.
Because it really was such a nice day.
He looked into the mirror that hung lopsided in his bathroom, the tiles on the walls gleaming the fixtureless light into his eyes and making them all red, the veins in them bulging to the point of rupturing. His face was flushed and glossy from sweat. Suddenly his features contorted in anguish and concentration, trying desperately to force something upon itself. He closed his eyes in strain and when he opened them again, Xander Drew was infinitely disappointed by the fact that the exact same face stared back at him. Only now it was breathing much harder, sending foggy streaks across the reflective surface mere inches from his face.
“Maybe you’re just tense?” Cathy offered helpfully, faking a smile as she sat with her hands between her knees on the nearby toilet.
He gave her a look filled with tension. “Now why would you say that?” he said gruffly, a bead of sweat dripping from his chin into the faded yellow sink. “This never happens to me. During the Genblade thing, I transformed all the time.”
“But that was just the one time,” she reasoned, something that brought immense disappointment to him. She frowned at her incompetence and general stupidity on the subject, but how was she supposed to know anything about transforming, anyway? “Maybe you’re nervous?” she tried again, only to be hailed with another look from Xander. She hated that look. It sank into her, and made her feel like nothing. Less than nothing... less than human. Like the way Grendel and the boys at school would look at her and make her feel.
“I need to get this down,” he said flatly, ending the argument. “I have to learn to transform if I’m ever going to do anything about those idiots Al and Raine. If anyone deserves to see the true me, it’s those two.” He paused and stared himself down in the mirror. “Spider said pain was my power...” he whispered to himself.
“Was that before or after you killed her?” Cathy asked, confusion apparent in her dark eyes.
“After,” he said, slapping a hand against the sink as if that were obvious.
“Oh,” Cathy nodded. Then she stopped, thought about it, and crumpled her nose a little. “What?”
He waved her off and continued to concentrate on the mirror. He thought of Sara, and the funeral, and those rapist bastards, and Grendel and Tommy and Sud... all of them. He let all the rage and hate and anger and sorrow fill up inside him, waiting for the Womb to fire up and let him reform. Into something. Anything. Even the slightest change controlled by his will would be a good start; if he was able to change his appearance like the Womb could, he wouldn’t have to worry about being recognized when he went out at night. That’s if I’m gonna keep this damn hero thing up, he thought doubtfully in the back of his mind, as he examined the bruised skin that was healing nicely around his eye. And it doesn’t seem like I can keep myself out of trouble.
He felt the true Womb twitch again, then surge. What had he been thinking about? What had triggered it? It started to fade down again, as he struggled to find the right train of thought to jump aboard. Christ, he thought sickeningly. Sometimes I can’t stop this shit for overtaking me, but now I can’t seem to coax it out of its damned hole. What is with it?
Cathy just watched him from her ice cold seat and twiddling her fingers. She glanced over at the tub curiously, seeing baby bath shampoo and toys there even though Xander had no siblings. The normally humorous sight did not help her now though, a barrage of images running through her head. “I try, y’know,” she said as she gazed down at the dark green floor tiles. They reflected her face in them, staring right back up at her. “I try to be good, and to think the happy thoughts, and to do whatever the hell else my parents, the guidance counsellor, and the frigging TeleTubbies say to do.” She buried her face into her palms, fighting to regain her composure as she forced the words out. “I haven’t been sleeping. That’s why I came over here last night, I needed to get away from my own bed. It doesn’t feel safe there anymore, y’know? Just knowing that Raine and Genblade and all the others know where it is... and Grendel, too.” She sighed. “I know he’s dead. Just like all the others. But I have these dreams... nightmares really, where he slips into my room late at night and...” She stifled a
