Habeas Corpus: Black Womb (Black Womb Collection Book 1)

sob. “...Well, you know. And when I wake up, I’m never sure if I’m really awake. Like maybe, the real world is where I’m just his plaything and this is all just some stupid dream from my naive head. God knows, our lives lately aren’t realistic. They read like a comic book, for christsakes.” She paused for a long time then, staring at the yellow duck next to the soap on the edge of the tub. “He took it all away, Xander. The safety. I don’t feel safe here anymore. Not even around Mike. I’m just afraid that he’ll do it, too. I can’t even feel safe around you, and not just because of the Womb. Because you’re a man too and that makes me sound awful, and the fact that I don’t give a shit about Julie Peterson and her problems makes me sound awful and I am awful but I just don’t give a fuck!” she cursed, tears streaming down like rain now. “The worst part is knowing that it could all happen again, y’ know? That it will.” She stopped crying, becoming deathly quiet for a moment. “People don’t die all at once, y’ know. I’ll never believe that, no matter how many friends I bury. I think you die bit by bit over the years, each pain and loss slowly chipping away at your heart until there’s nothing left -- and then you just can’t take it anymore -- and then you die.” She stopped. She was looking at Xander’s feet, unable to bring herself to look into his eyes when she said this next part. She didn’t even want to say it, for it was a horrible thing to ask. But she simply couldn’t stop her lips from moving. “Well, if this isn’t what kills me... I don’t want to stick around and find out what does. I want to die, Xander. Kill me. Why not, you killed everything else...” she stopped and pursed her parched lips. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

He turned away from the mirror. “Sorry about what?” he asked coldly. “You say something?”

Shock filled her eyes, as she realized he had not heard a word she had just said.

“Be quiet a minute,” he said, raising a finger to her. “I think I almost got it.”

Xander stared into the mirror, horrible thoughts filling his mind. His blood was pumping hard and it felt like it was too thick for his veins. Like the black blood.

It was as if he was there -- that’s how vivid the memory of Engen was. He knew that was the key, it had to be. He could feel the heat of the reactor on his face as he raced against the clock to disarm it, Abner Jenkins -- The Alpha -- dying on the floor not far from where Xander stood, the murdering devil’s organs splattered out across the cold grates, blood filtering down through and landing on hot heating vents, creating a disgusting smell. He remembered the madman’s cries, and suddenly he could feel it. He could feel the change coming over him, the power.

He opened his eyes again, trying not to lose the image of Alpha, his surrogate ‘father.’ He focused on a particular point on his face -- the upper cheek under his right eye -- where a scar had been ever since he was a child. When he focused on that area, it got very hot all of a sudden, as if he were burning a hole into it with his eyes. The skin seemed to boil, large bubbles forming there. It shrunk down until it disappeared into his face again, skin folding over the spot where the scar had been. The place where it no longer was.

When he smiled, the skin quickly shifted back to the way it had been. Xander grunted impatiently, then tried again.

This time, he felt something different. His entire face felt like it was on fire, smouldering with tiny boils that were popping up everywhere, covering his features.

Cathy screamed as he fell to the floor, clutching at his face. He tried to withdraw his claws, but they would not come either, so he scratched at his face with his bare nails. When the boils finally stopped coming, they stayed. They’d reformed and folded his mouth and nose away, along with his left eye and both ears. His face was turning blue, and Cathy shook him by the shoulders, realizing suddenly that he could not breathe. She ran out into his room across the hall, grabbing a small blade that he had always kept there for god knows what reason. By the time she got back to the washroom he was going from blue to purple, with a little aquamarine around the corners of where his lips would be. She drew the blade back and stabbed him in the gut, right where his appendix would have been. The boils turned black then and melted off of him, leaving the same thin layer of congealed blood that accompanied every transformation.

Pain is your power.

He gasped for air, clutching his chest as breath filled his lungs and colour started to come back into his cheeks. For a moment it was all he could do not to have a heart attack, then he turned and grasped Cathy, bringing her into a hug. “Thank you,” he said honestly, kissing her neck softly. “I love you. Thank you.”

She smiled, wrapping her arms around him gently and rocking him back and forth, his sweat dripping onto her shoulders and down her back again.

“I know,” he said finally. He pushed her away and she saw that he was wide-eyed and looked crazed. “I know!” he shouted again, shaking her slightly.

“Know what?” she demanded, palming both sides of his face and forcing him to look into her eyes. “What do you know?”

“Why... I can’t,” he said in short gasps. “The explosion at Engen.