She shook her head. “I wish it was as easy as just saying I will not do that, that I could make up my mind to not leave. I’m trying to be—”
“No. There’s no such thing as trying, Kate. You either stay or you go. And that is one hundred percent in your control. You’re either part of this family or you’re not. It is not a hard decision to do the right thing. Or at least it shouldn’t be.”
A tear slid down Kate’s cheek and he hated himself for making her cry, but it was slowly becoming clear that handling her with kid gloves was not the answer. Still, he reached out and brushed her tear away with the pad of his thumb.
“I need to work this out in my head,” she said.
“Do you know where your father is?” he asked.
She shook her head.
“I think we need to find him. Maybe you need to go see him. See if he’s happy with the decisions he made. Confront him and tell him what a crappy thing he did to you, your sisters and your mom. Because it was crappy. And I think if you can tell him that, you’ll realize you’re better than that, Kate.”
He wanted to use stronger language than that. He wanted to call Fred Clark a lot of words he wasn’t in the habit of using because he’d tempered his vocabulary in the interest of setting a good example for his daughter.
“Kate, he was a crappy father. Just like Chloe’s mother was a crappy mother. I know in my heart that you’re not like them. You’re so much better than that. If you were like them, you would not be here now. You owe it to yourself and you owe it to our baby to exorcise this demon so that you can get on with the life you deserve. I can ask my friend Randy Ponder, who owns a PI agency, to track him down, if you want. Randy employs private detectives who do that kind of thing. I’ll go with you to talk to him.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said. “I don’t know if I want to see my father. What am I supposed to say? Hey, thanks for ruining my life?”
Before Aidan could answer, Kate shook her head and buried her face in her hands again.
“Think about it,” Aidan said. “I know it is scary. I know it is a lot. You don’t have to decide right now. But I think confronting him is the only way you’re going to get past this thing that’s keeping you from enjoying your best life.”
Kate looked at him with a storm of emotion raging in her green eyes. But Aidan felt as if he might have gotten through to her.
“I do need to decide pretty soon,” she said, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I need to figure out what I’m going to do so we can both get on with our lives. I owe it to you and Chloe and the baby. Thanks for not giving up on me, Aidan.”
Chapter Six
After a restless night spent tossing and turning, Kate called her sister Elle as soon as the hour was decent.
“Are you free?” she asked. “I know it’s last-minute, but I took the day off because I only had two clients scheduled and I was able to move them to later in the week. I need some sisterly advice.”
“Sure, Daniel is already at work. Patrice is handling the tours today. It is just Maggie and me at home this morning.”
Patrice Crowder was the college girl Elle had hired to help with the tours. She was a student at Savannah College of Art and Design, and she was talented enough that Elle even trusted her to take over some of the art classes they now offered at the inn, giving Elle the ability to balance work and motherhood.
“Is everything okay?” Elle asked.
Kate was silent. She didn’t want to alarm Elle by saying no, but technically, things weren’t okay. Everything was upside down. But she certainly didn’t want to tell her sister her monumental news over the phone.
“It is not a matter of life or death,” Kate said. “So, no need to worry, but I do need to talk to you.”
“Okay. Good. Come over and I’ll fix us an early lunch,” Elle offered. “Or a late breakfast. Have you eaten?”
“I haven’t and I’m starving.” Technically, that wasn’t the entire truth. At the moment, the thought of food repulsed her, but based on how things had been going since the morning sickness first started, it was likely that she would be ravenous by the time she got to Elle’s house.
Elle answered the door with baby Maggie in her arms. “Say hello to your auntie Kate, Maggie.” The tiny girl took one look at Kate and burst into tears, her adorable, cherubic, chubby-cheeked face turning puce.
Wonderful.
If this wasn’t proof that she was not qualified for motherhood, Kate didn’t know what else the universe needed to show her. Wasn’t there some sort of maternal standard women had to meet before they could bring a child into this world? If not, there should be. And Kate knew she certainly would not pass the test, if there was one.
Even her own niece had taken one look at her and cried foul.
I know, little baby. I get it. I want to cry, too.
“Don’t take it personally, Kate,” Elle said, bouncing little Maggie on her hip. “She’s overtired. Let me put her down for a nap and we can talk. Go on into the kitchen and make yourself at home.”
Elle closed the front door and headed down the hallway toward the baby’s nursery. “I’ll be right back,” she said over her shoulder. “Okay. But what makes you think I took Maggie’s crying personally? She loves her auntie Kate.”
Maybe if she said it out loud she’d start believing it.
“Yeah, well, sorry, the look on your face gave you away.”
So she was that obvious. She had never
