“Sure.”
Casey went over to Will, who had woken up, big eyes blinking and his little mouth opening and shutting as he searched for milk.
“Hey, buddy,” Casey said softly, scooping him out of his cradle. “You hungry?”
Will let out a little frustrated cry, and Casey handed him to Bert, who expertly tucked the infant into the crook of his arm and popped a bottle into his mouth. Will slurped away immediately.
Then Casey went and picked up Wyatt. It was better to wake this sleeping baby and feed them both at the same time, or he’d be up every hour overnight feeding one baby at a time. Wyatt blinked his eyes open as Casey lifted him from his cradle and put him up onto his shoulder as he came back to the table.
“Fiona and I went to a therapist for the better part of a year,” Bert said after a moment, his eyes still pinned on the baby in his arms, slurping away on the bottle.
“You—” Casey cleared his throat. “Seriously?”
“It was after our daughter was killed in that car accident. We just couldn’t... It was too big of a loss, and we weren’t talking to each other because we didn’t want to make it worse, I guess, and it was just eating us up.”
“I didn’t realize that,” Casey said quietly, and he adjusted Wyatt in his arms and offered the baby his bottle.
“Therapists just help you talk about stuff,” Bert said. “I wasn’t any good at that. And if I hadn’t learned how, I wouldn’t have stayed married real long. So you could say that therapist saved our marriage.”
Casey eyed the big cowboy, who still refused to look up. “Cowboys don’t talk much, Bert. We ride.”
“Well, maybe we should talk more,” the older man replied. “Maybe you should talk more.”
“Me?” Casey asked in surprise.
“What are you wanting to give those boys on a ranch?”
“A country upbringing,” he retorted. “You know what I’m talking about.”
“Yeah, well, spell it out for me,” Bert replied.
“I want them to learn perseverance, fortitude, morals, how to stick with something even when the weather’s against them,” Casey said. “All the stuff you learn when you’re raised on a ranch with chores and 4-H. It’s a priceless childhood.”
“And what about communication?” Bert asked. “Because that’s mighty important once these tykes grow up and get married. What about flexibility? What about softness?”
“I’ll throw that in, too, I guess. Or I’ll try,” Casey replied with a rueful smile. “What are you getting at, Bert? I’m not married yet. I don’t have a woman to bring in the feminine stuff for me.”
“You’re so focused on the upbringing you had, Casey, that you’re forgetting you had a mother who raised you with lessons of her own outside what you got from your father. Perseverance is important, but so is flexibility. I grew up watching my dad stay the course, and I never stopped to think that the course could change if you needed it to. Bending isn’t weakness, Casey. It’s making room for another person in your life.”
“And you think—” Casey started.
“I think you love her,” Bert finished for him. “And don’t even bother arguing that, because I know it’s true.”
“I’m not arguing,” Casey said with a sigh. “But, Bert, ranching is in my blood!”
“And that woman is in your heart,” Bert replied. “You want to raise those boys alone and teach them to be rock-hard cowboys? You can do it. Or you can raise them with a woman you love—a woman worth bending for—and you can teach them how to be successful in more than just their work. Because a home life matters, too. No cowboy is fully content coming back to an empty house. Those boys need to learn how to fill their hearts as well as their barns.”
Casey looked down at Wyatt’s face as he drank the last of the bottle. He put the bottle on the table, then tipped Wyatt up onto his shoulder to burp him. His mind was spinning.
“You know how long I’ve wanted to own my own ranch, Bert?” Casey asked, his voice tight.
“Yup,” Bert replied. “But life is long, and you’ve got a lot more years ahead of you than you do behind you. There will be other ranches, and who knows what the future holds? But will there be another woman who makes you feel like she does?”
“The pastor preached about Jericho’s walls,” Casey said. “They marched and they marched until they must have felt like they were going crazy. I’ve been marching, too—circling my own Jericho walls. After all that marching—to just give up—”
“There’s faith in God to answer our prayers,” Bert said, “and then there’s faith in God when He gives us the unexpected. Maybe you prayed for land, but God saw fit to give you a lifelong love instead.”
A lifelong love... It may very well be! Casey didn’t see any easy way to stop loving her, but she didn’t want what he could offer—and she didn’t want to be a part of this little family. It was very likely a lifelong love, and he’d be measuring women against her for the rest of his life, but it didn’t change those basic facts.
“It’s not going to work out, Bert,” Casey said gruffly.
Bert nodded. “Okay. Sorry to pry. I’ll keep my peace.”
But it got Casey to thinking...maybe there was more than one way to raise a kid right, and more than one way to find a heart-deep satisfaction in life. It had always been about the land before, but what if he had to choose between the dirt beneath his boots and the woman in his arms?
What if he’d been circling his Jericho walls and God had wanted to show him another way? What if God had other plans for his life that didn’t include a ranch to run? Would he have faith enough to
