“I didn’t mean to do that,” she said quickly, her gaze moving over to her sleeping daughters out of instinct and mild embarrassment. Of all the things for her daughters to see her do...
“I did,” he said, his voice low and soft. “So blame me.”
He reached for her hand again and twined his fingers through hers. His palm was rough and strong, and she looked down at their fingers, mostly as a way to avoid looking him in the eye after that kiss.
“We shouldn’t be doing that,” she breathed. “Neither of us want a relationship—”
“I know,” he said, and he tugged her against his strong shoulder. “Chalk it up to all the things I shouldn’t have done. But this one I’m not sorry for.”
“No?” She leaned her cheek against his shoulder. Because she was.
“It was honest,” he murmured.
It had been, and as she watched her little girls sleeping on the blanket in the dappled sunlight, she wished this moment could stretch out forever. It was so simple, so honest. It filled her heart in the most dangerous of ways, because it made her hope for things she knew better than to hope for... She was no naive girl anymore. She’d been through this, and she had two little children who needed her.
The only problem was that no matter how sweet and tender this moment was, it had no future, and a moment was all they had.
Chapter Twelve
That evening when Jane tucked Micha and Suzie into bed, there was no fuss—the girls were exhausted from both the ride out to the tree house and by the playing they did once they got back. There was something about that clean country air that seemed to do all of them good.
The toddlers curled up under the sheet and fell asleep almost immediately. Jane lay on the bed next to them for a couple of minutes while their breathing slowed, looking at those sweet little faces.
Jane had been trying not to think about that kiss, shoving it out of her mind and replacing it with work and forced smiles. But the truth of the matter was, she’d started it. She hadn’t meant to start a kiss quite like that one, but she had been intending to kiss his cheek. Still not exactly appropriate.
But the memory of his strong hand cradling her cheek, his lips covering hers... She still got goose bumps. He was so strong and at the same time so gentle. She couldn’t even blame him, and she halfway wished she could. Because that would be easier—pass the blame along and stop herself from feeling quite so responsible.
“What was I even thinking?” she murmured to herself as she got off the bed and stood up.
After they’d gotten back to the ranch, they hadn’t spoken of it. Colt went back to work, and she did some cleaning out of another couple of bookshelves with Peg. Then there was dinner, when Colt came back, and idle chitchat about that stretch of land, the value of it and whether or not Colt would regret the sale. Mostly that conversation had been between Colt and Peg, and Jane had simply tended to her daughters.
That sale wasn’t her business. This ranch wasn’t her business. Most of all, kissing Colt hadn’t been her business! And nothing she could do right now could make up for that kiss out there by the trees.
Lord, I’m sorry, she prayed, closing the bedroom door softly behind her. Am I that lonely?
And maybe she was. It had been three years since Josh’s death, and even during their marriage she’d been lonesome. She’d turned to God, then, and let Him be her rock. So what was she doing now?
Jane ambled down the hallway toward the kitchen. She’d get a cup of tea or something, she thought. But as she stopped at the doorway, she spotted Colt at the sink. He started the water, then put in a squirt of dish liquid.
She paused there, watching him as he reached for a pile of plates and lowered them into the sink.
“You gonna just stand there?” he said, and Jane startled.
“I didn’t know you heard me,” she admitted.
He glanced over his shoulder and smiled regretfully. “I’ve made it weird between us, haven’t I?”
“It was me—” She sighed. There was going to be no escaping this. She grabbed a dish towel off the handle of the stove and met him at the sink. “Look, I was as big a part of that kiss as you were, Colt. I’m not blaming you. If anything, it was my fault.”
“So let’s not place blame, then,” he said. “We’re both adults. We’re obviously attracted to each other.”
She didn’t say anything to that, because there was no denying it. They’d been drawn to each other the last few days, and the end result had been an unforgettable kiss.
“So what did you think of the tree house?” he asked, changing the subject.
They’d gone to look at it after the girls had woken up. Colt had carried Micha on his shoulders, and Jane had held Suzie on her hip. They’d looked up at it from the ground, walked around the base of the tree. It wouldn’t have been safe to go up with the toddlers, so she made do on the ground. She could imagine a young Josh up there, hammering away or just looking wistfully out into the forest... He’d always gotten such a wistful, sad look on his face when he thought she wasn’t looking. Maybe it had started young.
“It’s pretty impressive,” she admitted. “Even now.”
“Yeah, I think so, too.” He pulled a clean plate from the sink. He rinsed it under some water, then handed it over. “It was nice to remember the old days when everything was uncomplicated.”
Jane accepted the
