Sawyer was silent, but he reached over and took her hand in his. His palm was warm, and his fingers closed around hers.
“We shouldn’t...” she murmured.
“I don’t care,” he said, his voice low and gravelly. “Sometimes you need someone to hold your hand. You can’t do it all alone, Olivia.”
“I think I’ve done all I can, really,” she admitted. “Besides working some overtime and sending Brian a bit of cash to help them get ready for the baby.”
“You mean here in Beaut,” he said, turned toward her. “You’ve done all you can here.”
“Yes.” She swallowed against a lump in her throat. “Your memory is coming back nicely, and my brother will sort out his own relationship. Besides, I have to go back to work.”
She’d come out here to reconcile Sawyer to the Whites, but she couldn’t see a way to do that anymore, either. He’d talk to them, or he wouldn’t. She couldn’t stick herself in the middle. This morning, she’d said her piece on that subject, and he’d said his. And whatever she’d hoped when she arrived, her contribution wasn’t going to warrant the Whites intervening with the hospital board. She’d been naive to even go along with that plan.
“I think I must have missed you,” Sawyer said quietly. “The last few years.”
“Why do you think that?” she asked with a soft laugh. “You don’t remember.”
“Because I’ve known you again for a week, and the thought of you leaving makes my chest heavy,” he said, and he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers.
The gesture was so gentle and sweet that it brought tears to her eyes. “I missed you so much—”
But she shouldn’t even be saying that. She clamped her mouth shut.
“If you stuck around, we could do more of this,” he said with a small smile. “We could hang out. We could take the girls to the park. I could take you riding. It would be nice.”
“It would.” She dropped her gaze. Very nice—while she was secluded away from the rest of the town, at least. But life wasn’t lived closeted away from the world. People came with families and communities. It couldn’t be sidestepped, and Beaut couldn’t be hers.
“But you can’t stay,” he said.
“No. My life is in Billings now, away from bad memories and nasty rumors. I have a good job, I’m ever so slowly paying off that debt—” She raised her gaze to meet his. “Besides, you keep forgetting that I drive you crazy.”
“Yeah, I keep forgetting that.” His dark gaze met hers and he smiled, showing he wasn’t completely serious. Maybe he needed to be driven nuts every once in a while. What did she know?
Sawyer reached over and moved a curl away from her eyes. The movement was tender, familiar, and afterward, he didn’t move his hand away from her face. His gaze met hers, and he leaned forward. She should pull back—she knew it—but she couldn’t bring herself to. Instead, she tipped her face into his palm.
His lips touched hers delicately at first, and when she leaned into him, his kiss became more confident. He released her hand and pushed his fingers into her hair and behind her neck. Everything else seemed to vanish around her, all but his mouth on hers and the feeling of those strong fingers tugging her closer. His lips were warm and soft, and when he pulled back, she found herself breathless. His face was still close to hers, and she could feel the tickle of his breath against her lips.
She closed her eyes, wishing they could do that again. She just wanted to lay her head against his shoulder, feel the beating of his heart... He was like coming home—if home could exist in a bubble away from everyone else.
“Um... I didn’t mean to do that...” he breathed.
“I know,” she whispered. “And we can’t do that anymore.”
He licked his lips, then released her, the space between them suddenly feeling like a gulf.
“Have we done that before?” he asked.
“No...” She leaned her head back and shut her eyes. And there was good reason for that. Kisses like this one had a way of prying their way into hearts, making people hope for impossible things.
“So that was a first?” Sawyer asked.
She turned her head to look at him and found his gentle gaze enveloping her.
“That was,” she said. “And a last.”
“Just checking.” He let out a long breath. “I know we’d said we wouldn’t go there, but if we have to say goodbye, I’d rather do it without regrets, and I’d regret not kissing you.”
“We’ve been through this before,” she said. “Because if we start something—”
“I know.”
He belonged with his family—he always had. Longing clamped down on Olivia’s throat. They were playing with fire, and they were no longer young enough to think they could come out unsinged.
“I’m sorry...” Sawyer started the truck. “We should probably get back.”
He put both hands on the steering wheel, and he swallowed hard.
“We should go,” she agreed.
Real life couldn’t be avoided forever. He had daughters waiting for him, and she had to get back to her life in Billings before she made it even more complicated to leave.
Whatever attraction it was that kept tugging them together wasn’t enough to undo the crushing opinion of the town at large. The rumors, the nastiness, the overt bullying—it had chipped away at her sense of self-worth, and she couldn’t allow herself to be pushed back down underneath it again. She couldn’t go back to bracing herself every time she went to the store, or forcing a polite smile when she wanted to retaliate against a subtle dig. She couldn’t be that woman again—the one who felt like she had to defend herself at every turn.
Not even for Sawyer.
Chapter Twelve
Sawyer headed back down the road the way they’d come, his heart still beating just a bit faster than normal. Because he
