She didn’t answer, but tears filled her eyes. How could she? Just looking up at him right now, her heart wanted to tear in two.
“Because I love you,” he breathed. “I knew it when I saw you again—and it was more than you just being a comfort in a difficult time. I don’t remember everything yet, but I know what you mean to me now...”
Sawyer’s lips came down over hers. She dug her fingers into the sides of his shirt and leaned into him as his lips moved over hers. His kiss was filled with longing and when he pulled back, she blinked blearily up at him.
“I love you, too,” she said, but then she took another step away from him, lest he kiss her again. She couldn’t think straight in his arms—it felt too warm and sweet there.
“But?” he asked huskily.
“I’m not staying here, Sawyer,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve worked too hard to push my life forward! Besides, I can’t make enough here. I barely make enough in Billings, what with the money that’s taken off my paycheck to pay back the hospital. My life isn’t exactly fixed, yet... Besides, what if I did stay?”
“I’d be real happy,” Sawyer said. “What do you think?”
“What would we be to each other?” she asked. “Friends who keep falling into each other’s arms? Is this even healthy?”
Sawyer stilled. “I’m trying to be a better dad than I was before, and I need to put the hard work in—”
“I know,” she said. “You need to focus on your kids. So you want me to stay and be here for you without needing more. But we can’t sit here in this purgatory of friendship where we can’t be what our hearts want us to be. We’ve done that before. It was awful. Even if I could afford to stay in Beaut, even if I could make a life here in this town that tore away my self-esteem...you’re starting over, too. You have to be the dad your girls need. So if I stayed, then what? I can’t just be your buddy, pretending I don’t feel this! And you can’t do that either. We can’t do this to ourselves.”
“We’ve done this before,” he said sadly. “I just don’t remember it yet.”
“You will,” she whispered. “It hurt us both.”
He nodded.
“We set up our rules for good reason,” she said. “Before it was because I wasn’t staying, and we wanted to avoid this exact problem...”
From the bedroom, the sound of a toddler’s cry filtered out toward them, a plaintive, lonely wail.
Olivia licked her lips. “Go take care of your girls, Sawyer.”
“Are you leaving?” he asked.
“Yes.” She nodded, her chin trembling. “I’ll get my bag.”
“Will I see you before you leave town?” he asked.
The toddler’s cry turned into two, and he looked at her with heartbreak in his deep brown eyes. He was torn—she could feel it. His girls needed his help, and she couldn’t stay in limbo with him anymore.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “But your girls need you.”
Sawyer moved toward the hallway this time, and when he looked back over his shoulder, she had to hold herself back from running into his arms. She’d get her bag and go find a hotel room for the night. She couldn’t leave town without talking to Brian once more, but she couldn’t wrap up her own business from here—not where her heart kept trying to settle down and make a home.
Olivia had fallen in love with Sawyer all over again... Why couldn’t she learn that this man could never be hers?
Chapter Thirteen
Olivia sat beside her bag on the hotel room bed, staring at the empty TV screen. Her heart felt like it would crack in two within her chest, and she put her hand over the spot over her breastbone as tears spilled down her cheeks.
She loved him... That had always been the problem. She’d thought she could put her feelings aside when went to school, but it hadn’t worked. She’d left him in her best friend’s arms and told herself that he wasn’t hers to care for—which had been true. But it didn’t make it any easier to cut him out of her heart.
Her life wasn’t here anymore, and she couldn’t just come back, either. She could make more in Billings to help her brother—and she could be more, and be happier with herself, there. Beaut would always be the place that had run her into the ground. Fresh starts in a town like this weren’t even possible with amnesia.
And knowing all of that...knowing that Sawyer couldn’t let himself be with her, either, didn’t change the fact that her heart was breaking. She lay down on the bed and let the tears flow. This town had broken her once before, and she’d vowed that she’d never let herself be shredded like that again. She’d known better, but somehow she’d still fallen for this man.
As she lay on the bed, her eyes drooped shut, and she fell in to a deep, empty slumber. An hour later, Olivia awoke with a parched throat. Her cell phone beside her was buzzing, and she picked it up, looking at the number. Her brother...
“Hi, Brian,” she said.
“Hey...are you okay?” Her brother’s voice lowered. “You sound like you’ve been crying.”
“I’m fine,” she said, pushing herself up. “I fell asleep.”
“Okay...” He didn’t sound convinced. “Is everything okay with you and Sawyer?”
“We’re friends,” she said. “We always will be.”
“You seemed like more when I saw you—”
Were her feelings for the man so obvious? She rubbed her hand over her puffy eyes. “We’re friends,” she repeated. “I don’t want to talk about that right now, okay?”
“I just wanted to let you know that I’ve sorted things out with Shari,” he said.
“Have you?” she asked hopefully.
“That pastor dropped by.”
“Oh?” She hesitated. “Are you mad?”
“Nah... His timing was good, I guess. We had a long talk. He had a lot
