I shrugged and followed him into the room he was using. It smelled like him, and was neatly organized. He gestured to the bed, so I sat down. He sat next to me, so I moved so I could face him.
“I realize how hard what we did was on you. It was my intention to never tell you, but obviously, it was weighing on David’s mind.”
I scoffed. “Of course it was, Kait. He killed a person. What do you expect?”
He sighed. “I honestly forgot how hard it is when you kill for the first time.”
My jaw hit the floor, but I rallied back up. “How many times have you killed, Kait?” My voice was a squeak. Okay, maybe I didn’t rally as good as I thought.
“I have lived through several wars and fought in all of them. I don’t know how many I have killed. It has always been a matter of life or death, and never for personal gain.”
I didn’t know this man sitting in front of me. This was just a cold reminder of that fact. I’m sure I looked like a fish as my mouth opened and closed. Eventually, I managed to say, “I don’t know how to reply to that.”
He sighed and ran his hand over his face. “You don’t need to reply. Also, you know me better than you think you do. I have shown more of myself to you and the boys than I have ever showed anyone else. To everyone, I am just a dutiful soldier, no personality, no cravings, no dislikes. To you and the boys, I am a person, with likes and dislikes, with needs.” He stood up, facing me. “I understand if this changes the way you feel about me, but don’t judge David too harshly. I am the one that took him there and it’s really my fault he ended up killing the guy.” He turned abruptly and left the room. I sat there, staring at the wall for far longer than I would like to admit.
It didn’t affect the way I felt, but at the same time, it did. I guess it wasn’t that much of a surprise. I mean, he had killed the Lorgaires during the fight with Stefa. I would have killed at that point too, if I had to.
Killing HIM wasn’t that much different. They were just protecting me. Even if it was a bit misguided. What would I have done if he had ever escaped and found me? I shuddered. I probably would have killed him without a second thought. After what that bastard had done to me, and to the other girls, he deserved to die a horrible death. I wondered why my father had lied to me all those years ago, but I dismissed that thought quickly since I would never know his reasons.
After making sure my mental barriers were down, I left the room in search of Kait. I found him in the kitchen, sipping what looked like whiskey from a tumbler. He didn’t look up when I entered the room, but after a minute he glanced up sharply.
He shook his head. “What did I ever do to deserve someone like you, Princess?”
I walked over and wrapped my arms around him, and said, “You must have been good to some god at some point. I mean, I’m pretty awesome, right?”
He snorted before putting a finger under my chin to tilt my head up. “You have no idea.” Leaning in, he kissed me tenderly. “Go get ready for bed. David is waiting for you.”
“Alright. Are you okay?”
“I will be. Don’t worry about me.”
I searched his eyes and was relieved to see that most of the self-loathing I had seen before he left the other room was gone. I kissed him quickly, then left to go find David. He was laying on my bed with his eyes closed. His breathing hitched like he was fighting tears. I softly closed the door behind me, and he cracked an eye open at me.
“Are you okay?” I softly asked him.
He sighed. His voice was quiet as he answered, “I don’t know, Sugar.”
I stretched out next to him and put my head on his shoulder. He patted my arm, which I had draped over his stomach. “What can I do to help?”
He hugged me. “Just being here helps me, Sugar. My mind is running in circles, and I just keep asking myself if I had to do it again, would I? The answer scares me, because I would do it again in a heartbeat. It’s not like I planned it, but once it started, I knew what was going to happen, and I didn’t stop. I enjoyed the look on his face as I fried his brain. I’m a monster.”
I shifted, so I was straddling his hips, and leaned in, so I was in his face. Our lips were inches apart. “You were defending someone you love. You are not a monster. He was a monster. Did you know that he abused ten other little girls along with me? I wasn’t his only victim. I was the youngest at eight, and the oldest was ten. The only thing bothering me now is why my father lied to me and told me he was dead when he wasn’t.” David’s grey eyes were swirling with his magic, and his angular face was drawn. I kissed him lightly, but he didn’t respond, so I kissed him harder. His arms wrapped around me and held me tight as he finally let me in. One hand came up to guide me. He tilted my head away from him so he could kiss down my neck. I gasped and my hips moved against his. He moaned. I could feel him getting harder, and it was pressing in just the right spot, so my
