But when I leave the house for dinner with Bailey, and I still haven’t seen him, I can’t help but be a little worried. I send him one more text asking for any sign that he’s you know, alive, before I meet up with Bailey.
This time we don’t go to the dining hall, but a café just off campus—and not too far from the house—that has really good food.
When Bailey arrives I give her a hug. “I’m not going to lie,” I say. “I’m starving and kind of want to eat the biggest omelet that they serve.”
“An omelet sounds amazing right now,” she agrees.
“How was your study group?”
She sighs. “Fine. Boring as hell.”
I laugh. “Not a good class?”
We sit together in a booth by the window. “It’s a fine class, just…none of this is what I thought it would be.”
“Pre-law?”
Bailey makes a face. “Yeah. I guess I just thought that it would be more fun. I love learning legalese and I love tangling people up in arguments. And I like the idea of making a difference. But so far what I’m learning is that ninety percent of lawyers do really boring shit. And the minutiae of everything you have to learn to do that really boring shit is just a lot.”
“That’s fair,” I tell her. “Do you think you’re going to stop or change majors?”
She shakes her head as a waitress drops off menus. “I really don’t know. It’s a little late to change for this semester at least. I could drop the classes and pick up new ones, but I’d be so far behind in those classes that it’s not worth it.”
“Yeah, that’s true. I’m sorry you’re not liking it.”
“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get used to it. Maybe I’m just tired. We’ve got a big project due next week. First big thing, and maybe that’s what’s got me stressed out.”
I scan the menu. They do have omelets. That’s exactly what I’m getting. “Are you sure that you have the time to be here?”
She grins. “Wouldn’t miss it. I’m so sorry that I left you with Taylor last night. I had no idea that they would switch things up so much last minute.”
“It was fine,” I shrug. “We honestly didn’t talk that much.”
Bailey snorts. “No shock there.”
I blink at her. “What?”
She smiles as the waitress comes back with water and takes our order. I wait until she leaves to look at my friend expectantly. She makes a face like I’m missing the point. “I just meant that it’s not exactly a secret that you and Taylor don’t like each other. It’s amazing that you still hang out at all.”
A little wave of shock rolls through me. “I don’t have any problem with Taylor. We don’t have that much in common, but I’ve never hated her or anything.”
Bailey freezes, and her eyes go wide. “Shit.”
“Something you need to tell me, Bai?”
“Ummm…no?”
I roll my eyes and take a sip of water. “Just spill. Nothing about Taylor would come as a shock to me at this point.”
She hesitates. “She basically hates you. I thought you knew and both just tolerated each other for my sake.”
“She hates me?” I say it way too loud and catch myself. “What did I do?”
“She thinks you ruined high school for her,” Bailey says. “Cause she got into such trouble after that party.”
Cold, brutal anger rises up. It always does when I think about that night. “You mean the party where people were drinking themselves so stupid that they could have died and she didn’t want to call anyone so that the party could be kept a secret?”
“That’s the one.”
“Yeah, well,” I hesitate. “I don’t particularly care if it makes me a bitch to say that she deserved that lockdown. Being grounded is not worth someone dying.”
“I agree with you,” she says, “but that’s her reasoning. She’s always held that against you, and she thinks that you look down on her for partying.”
I sigh. “I don’t look down on her. Some of the stuff that she does or did make me sad, but it’s her choice.”
Bailey shakes her head. “I don’t think that she knows about your aunt.”
“Not many people do.” I keep that story close to my chest for that reason. It’s deeply personal, and I don’t want my friends to think they can’t do things like drink around me. Just because I choose not to do something doesn’t mean that they can’t.
But that night, at that party, I could see that it was bad. That boy’s skin was turning grey, and he needed a hospital. I had to call the ambulance, or he was going to die. I knew it.
Taylor didn’t want me to. She begged me not to call the ambulance because her parents were out of town for the weekend, and if the ambulance came, then they would know. I called the ambulance anyway, and I don’t regret it. I should have done it sooner than I did.
I barely knew the kid. I think his name was John. I brought him flowers just so I could make sure that he was okay and going to live. I don’t care that he will never know that it was me, that wasn’t the point. Marcy was already gone, and at least I could save one person.
“In a way,” I say, “that night kind of solidified that I wanted to go into nutrition. I’d had the idea, but not the form of it. And everything I saw that night made me realize that people just don’t know what that will do to them. They don’t have a clue.”
“It makes sense,” Bailey says. “And I was actually wondering about that, dating Malcolm. He’s head of the biggest party house at the school. I was wondering if you’d changed your mind or something. Doesn’t it bother you?”
I think about it for a second. “I was worried about it at first,”
