‘And your sister, Lauren?’ says Stephens, referring to his notebook. ‘She’s a few years older than you.’
‘Yes, four.’ Kate is now worried that her answers are too short and clipped.
‘So, she might have some memory of it. Or indeed your mother, Mrs . . .’ He looks at his notebook. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch your parents’ surname.’
‘Alexander.’
‘And Mrs Alexander is still in London?’ DS Connolly asks.
Kate nods.
‘Can I get an address for her please? We might need to ask her a few questions too.’
‘About what?’ says Kate, her hackles rising as well as her heart rate.
‘We just need to eliminate everyone from our inquiries,’ says Stephens, sounding as if he’s reading from a script for a TV show.
‘Inquiries for what?’ chokes Kate. ‘What is it that you’re investigating exactly?’
DS Connolly looks at her. ‘A murder, Mrs Walker. We’re investigating a murder.’
46
Lauren
‘I’m truly sorry,’ says Justin, taking Lauren’s hand in his as they sit in a cafe at the foot of the Shard. ‘I had no idea I was talking to him.’
‘Why would you?’ she says, as she swipes her tears away, not knowing whether she’s crying for her marriage or the new life she’s about to embark on. ‘It’s my own stupid fault. I should never have let him anywhere near my phone.’ Though even as she’s saying it, she knows she had no choice.
Justin looks at her intently. ‘You never know, it might be a good thing.’
Lauren laughs cynically. ‘How can two parents breaking up ever be a good thing?’
‘Because he’s a violent bully, Lauren! You and the children are so much better off away from him.’
Lauren nods. In her head she knows he’s right but, despite herself, in her heart she’s still not sure she completely agrees with him.
‘I want to look after you, Lauren. If you want that too.’
‘I’ve got a lot to sort out, both practically and emotionally,’ says Lauren. ‘But in time, yes.’
‘We can figure that out. But first things first,’ says Justin. ‘Where are you and the children going to live?’
Lauren looks at him wide-eyed, suddenly overwhelmed by the enormity of the situation she’s in. There were practical reasons she’d stayed in a marriage so toxic; having a roof over her children’s heads was one of them.
‘I’m going to have to take some advice,’ she says, feeling fresh tears spring to her eyes when she realizes that her one true advocate is no longer here. How she wishes she could roll back a year, to when her dad was still alive. Or even better, roll back twenty-two years, to a time when she was daddy’s girl just as much as Kate was. Before she fell pregnant, before Justin left her, before she gave up their baby and blamed her dad for it all. Now she’s discovered that the resentment she’s been carrying around for all that time was misplaced. Yes, he may have had an affair and yes, it seems he had a baby with another woman, but that didn’t detract from the father he was to her – the father he tried so very hard to be, if only she’d let him. And now it’s too late.
He will never know how much she wished she’d gone into the office with him whenever he asked, instead of crying at home and regretting saying no. He will never know how much she’d have loved him to pop round to her place on his way home from a football match, instead of always going to Kate’s. He will never know her regret at not telling him she loved him when she naively believed she had all the time in the world.
‘Legal advice, you mean?’ asks Justin, bringing her back.
Lauren nods. ‘I can stay with Mum for a bit, but it’s not ideal, especially in the current circumstances, and Kate’s not got enough room for us all.’
‘Well, if you need somewhere to stay, there’s plenty of room at mine.’
Lauren looks at him as if he’s mad. ‘I can’t move myself and three children into yours. This isn’t your problem.’
‘Your problems are my problems. I want to help you in any way I can, and if the apartment isn’t right, and I understand why it might not be, let me find you somewhere to rent whilst you’re sorting yourself out.’
‘I’m not working at the moment,’ says Lauren. ‘I can’t afford to rent anywhere.’
‘So let me help you then, at least until you’re back on your feet.’
‘Justin, that’s very kind of you, but honestly I don’t need you to—’
‘I want to,’ he says, taking her hand in his. ‘This could be a new beginning for both of us—’
Lauren’s phone interrupts him and she looks at him apologetically. ‘I’m sorry, I need to get this,’ she says. She walks out of the cafe, sidestepping the bodies that are dispersing from London Bridge station.
‘Hi,’ she says, as she teeters on the kerb.
‘Are you okay?’ asks Kate.
‘Getting there. You?’
‘Yeah, listen, something’s come up and I wondered if you could get across to Canary Wharf?’
Lauren instinctively looks at her watch, though she doesn’t know why. ‘What now?’ she says.
‘Yes, if you can. It’s important.’
It doesn’t occur to Lauren to ask any more questions. Mostly out of fear of what the answers will be. She’s not quite sure how much more she can take at the moment.
‘Listen, I need to go,’ she says to Justin when she walks back into the cafe.
‘Is everything all right?’ he asks. ‘Do you want me to come with you? I don’t want you having to face him on your own.’
‘It’s not Simon,’ she says. ‘It’s Kate. I’ll call you later.’
Lauren wonders, as she goes the three stops on the Jubilee line, what Kate has to say that’s so important. She hopes she’s not going to slate their father, because for the first time, Lauren doesn’t want to hear it. She’s spent all these years waiting for everyone else to feel the way she did, but now that they do, she wishes they didn’t. Kate, on the
