I threw my arms up, trying not to lose my temper completely. Fucking Julian. That man had always been trouble, not to mention what he’d done to his own family. He was a sick, soulless fuck. Him knowing we were with Ash made everything infinitely more complicated. Yes, he was in prison, but I didn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. A man like Julian would use any piece of knowledge to his advantage. Blackmailing his son? That wasn’t even a new low for Julian. It was par for the fucking course.
“Jesus fucking Christ, can we not have a day when shit doesn’t fucking come our way? For fuck’s sake, I can’t deal with any more this evening. You really do know how to fucking load the work on me, don’t you guys? Now I have to fight more fires and I’m already stressed the fuck out over keeping her safe and making new plans for Russo. So excuse me, but I’m done.”
I’d had enough. They didn’t seem to understand how much danger we were all in. Just how much I had to do to make sure we didn’t all get ourselves killed.
I walked out, shoving my way past Xav and Eric. As I walked upstairs to my bedroom, I ran my hands through my hair, wanting everything to disappear for one fucking moment. That’s when I heard soft footfall behind me when I stopped to open my bedroom door. Turning, I found my little girl approaching me cautiously.
“What?”
She flinched as she arrived next to me. I hadn’t meant to sound so gruff and pissed off with her. None of this bullshit was really her fault.
“I can go if you want to be alone… I’m just worried about you.”
Pushing my bedroom door open, I grabbed her hand and dragged her in with me. I shut the door and tugged her against me, breathing her in.
“What do you need, Quinn?” she whispered.
“I don’t know.”
The truth of the matter was nothing anyone did would make this better. I could get lost in her for a while, but it would only be temporary. The past couple of months I’d been under so much fucking pressure. I thought perhaps it might end soon, but clearly, things were getting way out of hand. It was all on my shoulders. The weight of keeping us safe. Protecting my family.
“Will you let me love you?”
I wasn’t sure what that even meant, but anything was better than getting lost in the turmoil plaguing my every waking moment.
“Yes.”
Ash pulled away and raised her hands, slowly unbuttoning my shirt before she tugged it out of my trousers and pushed it off my shoulders. She took off her coat and placed them on my ottoman. Her fingertips trailed down my bare chest, but her touch wasn’t sexual. Her fingers soothed me. Reassuring me she was right here. She leant forward and placed a kiss where my heart was beating.
I reached for her, tugging off her jumper and t-shirt. My fingers stroked down the necklace I’d given her. The infinity symbol reminding me of our connection. Reminding me she was mine forever. That calmed my warring soul a fraction. This girl had dug her way inside me and nestled herself in my soul. And I never wanted to tear her out.
I let her continue undressing me until I stood in boxers. She discarded the rest of her clothes, standing there in these little lacy knickers. Then she took me by the hand and pulled me over to the bed. She made me get settled under the covers whilst she turned out the lights. Crawling in beside me, she wrapped her small frame around mine, holding me close as we lay on our sides facing each other. Her face buried in my neck and she placed soft little kisses to my jaw.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I love you so much.”
My little girl taking care of me seemed so fucking backwards, but I needed her to so much. She would be my balm. Ash was my everything.
Her fingers stroked down my back, calming me further. My fingers tangled in her beautiful blonde hair, keeping her close.
“Thank you, little girl,” I whispered back. “Thank you for being here. Fuck knows I need you. I’ll always need you.”
Only Ash made me want to admit these things. I felt safe with her. Safe to let her in and not worry she’d use my feelings against me. Back when the boys and I had been kids, I’d been softer, less hardened by all the shit we’d dealt with. Ash reminded me of that side. She brought it out to the forefront. In a lot of ways, I could only be grateful to her for showing me how love was my strength, not a weakness.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ll never leave you, Quinn.”
I kissed the top of her head and closed my eyes, contentment washing over me for those briefest of moments.
“I’ll do anything for you… any-fucking-thing. I love you so much. You’re my one, little girl. The only one. I’m never letting you go.”
Her lips pressed against my pulse point on my neck. I hugged her closer so our bodies were pressed so tightly together I no longer knew where I ended and she began. If I could dig myself inside her and never resurface, I would.
“I’m yours… now and forever.”
I drifted off to sleep with that beautiful girl in my arms. The rest of the shit could wait.
Me and her?
We were all that mattered.
If we could survive this shitstorm, we could survive anything.
I hoped.
Chapter 4
When I woke up, I found Quinn wrapped up against me with his head buried in my chest still fast asleep. I stroked his hair but didn’t move otherwise. Normally he was awake well before me. Clearly, he needed the sleep. My
