“I know I shouldn’t say this,” I choked out. “I know we’re playing a game, but I can’t help it. I can’t.”
I stroked his cheek.
“I love you, Ror, I love you so much and I can’t be without you either.”
He was quiet for a long time. I could never get a read on him in the way I could with the others. Rory had himself locked up tight ninety percent of the time.
He took my hands and pinned them by my head. Leaning down, he rested his forehead against mine.
“You never cease to amaze me,” he whispered, his breath dusting against my lips. “Never, Ash. The way you care for all of us without reservation or conditions… you have the most beautiful soul and I can’t help but need it bound to mine. I need you to belong to me as much as you belong to them.”
“I do. I’m yours. All of me. Just as all of me is theirs too. Ror, I need you as much as I need them. There are no favourites. I love you all equally. Don’t you see that?”
Chapter 32
Eric and I were watching a film together in the living room. He was laid out half across my chest and my fingers were in his hair. It seemed appropriate to spend as much time as we could together before our plans were enacted. It was ride or fucking die at this point. We were going balls to the wind against Russo. It was us or him and we were determined to make sure it was us who came out on top. In a few more days, everything would go to hell and I was ready for it.
It felt good to do this with Eric. We’d grown so much closer to each other and it was fucking amazing. I don’t know if we were written in the fucking stars or shit like that, but I did wonder why it hadn’t occurred to me before. Perhaps I’d just repressed this side of me. The one that yearned for him. For this. For us. Either way, I was fucking happy we’d come this far.
Leaning down, I kissed the top of his head which made him nuzzle against me as if preening for my attention. He was fucking cute like that. When we were alone, at least. I didn’t mind him being overly affectionate with Ash in front of Quinn and Rory but not with me. After all these years of us being friends, it took some getting used to now we were in a relationship. Little by little, we were getting there.
“What should I make for dinner tomorrow night?” he murmured.
He liked to plan meals in advance most of the time.
“Hmm, you know, I have a fucking craving for cheese…”
“Mac and cheese it is.”
He really knew how to make a guy happy in the simplest of ways.
“Best boyfriend ever award goes to…”
“Well, it certainly doesn’t fucking go to you,” came Quinn’s voice from behind us. “Have either of you seen Rory or Ash?”
I looked up, finding him striding into the room with a frown on his face.
“I thought they were in his room getting all… cosy.”
“If they were, do you think I’d be down here asking you?”
Eric sat up, rubbing his face and looking up at Quinn too.
“I haven’t seen them since this morning. They didn’t come down for dinner. Did you check the conservatory?”
“Of course I fucking checked it, why do you think I’m in here talking to you two?”
Quinn looked like he was ready to blow a fucking fuse. They had to be in the house. Rory would never take Ash out. He hated the outside world.
“They have to be somewhere. We’ll help you look, won’t we, Xavi?”
I sighed and rolled my eyes before getting up. Eric paused the film. We all bundled out into the hallway. I went into the kitchen and the other two stalked down the hallway. Looking around, I was about to walk down towards the other rooms when I noticed a little piece of paper on the counter. Walking over, I looked at it.
Gone out. Will be back tomorrow. Ash and Rory.
I stared at it for a long time before I picked it up. Why the fuck hadn’t any of us noticed this before? I mean shit, Eric had made dinner and he hadn’t even seen it. Also what the fuck was Rory playing at taking her out? Why the fuck didn’t he tell anyone?
Then it occurred to me. Quinn would have said no immediately. He’d never allow it. So it made sense to me why Rory would do it behind our backs. Still, it wasn’t on. They both knew how dangerous it was for Ash to be out of the house. What the hell were they doing?
I stalked through the house and ran into both Quinn and Eric in the hallway.
“Well, it looks like our errant twosome have run off together.”
“What the fuck do you mean?” Quinn growled.
I handed him the note. Eric peered at it over his shoulder. Their faces fell immediately. Then Quinn’s hardened and he looked like he was going to rip the paper into pieces. I took it from him and folded it up, placing it in my pocket.
“I. Cannot. Fucking. Believe. Him.”
“Quinn…” Eric started.
“I’m going to fucking murder him. I swear to fucking god.”
Well, this is going swimmingly.
“There’s no need to jump to conclusions.”
Quinn paced away, fisting his hands at his sides and looked like he was about to punch the wall.
“He cannot take Ash out of the fucking house without telling us. What the hell is wrong with
