“Punch buggie,” he shouted as he punched my arm when a bug drove past us.
“Ow! Jerk!” I laughed and rubbed my arm. Suddenly it hit me. I was in the car with my big brother. I was with Marc. For a moment, the pain faded when I looked at his profile.
The loud ring of my phone startled me. I went to retrieve it from my purse, which was situated between Marc and me, when he pushed my hand out of the way and grabbed it himself.
“Hel-lo, Marissa’s phone!” he said in a sing-song manner.
“Give me that!” Annoyed, I pulled the phone away from him. “Hello?” I punched his arm lightly.
“Marissa?”
Oh no. “Brandon. Hi.”
“I was worried about you. Who… who answered your phone?”
What do I do, what do I do? “What? Nobody.”
He made a huffing sound. “Right. Nobody. Got it.” Then we were disconnected.
Ugh! I tossed the phone back in my purse and rested my head against the passenger window. The cold from the glass felt good against my warm forehead.
“Everything okay?” Marc’s voice cut through the silence.
“I don’t know.” I looked at him again. Marc. My heart suddenly swelled. “Maybe it is.”
****
When we arrived at the hospital, it was past visiting hours, but the nurse was nice enough to let us go in anyway. I made sure I went in first to break the news to Gram that Marc was back. After all, she had suffered a heart attack, and I didn’t want the shock of seeing him to give her another one. She seemed to not believe me when I told her. But when he walked in the door her face lit up, and tears of joy streamed down her cheeks. Marc apologized for never contacting her and letting her know that he was safe. We both listened as Marc told us that he had spent the last year and a half living out in North Carolina. He said when he took off he just started driving, and for whatever reason, North Carolina was where he ended up. For the first few weeks after he arrived there he actually lived out of his car. Then he got a job waiting tables at a nightclub. Apparently, the tips were good, especially on ladies’ nights. The tighter his T-shirt, the higher the tips. Gross, but whatever.
Once he had saved up enough money, he found an apartment for rent. It was actually a room for rent. Three guys shared a house, and he rented the last open bedroom. Rent was low enough that he could swing it, and it was right down the street from where he worked.
“When I found that place, I felt more settled, and that’s when I was going to call you,” he said.
“Why didn’t you?” I blurted out before Gram had a chance.
He rubbed his hands together. “I don’t know. It had been three months by that point and… I still wasn’t ready to talk about… you know.” He tugged at his pant leg.
“Talk about your mother,” Gram said.
“Yeah.” Marc looked at her, but only for a moment. “It was like I was living this new life now, and my old life didn’t matter.”
“That’s nice. We didn’t matter.” I groaned and crossed my arms. My heart hoped he could feel the heat from my eyes.
“No, not that you didn’t matter.” He sighed. “I just didn’t want to think about it. And no one around me knew about it. So it was like I had a clean slate or something. I know it’s stupid, but I didn’t want people to pity me or something.” He looked at me when he said the last part, and I felt my face flush.
Did he know that I was the same way? He hadn’t even been around, but could he somehow know that I also hid my life from people? That I also didn’t want anyone’s pity. It’s weird when you are connected to someone, and they can understand what you’re feeling in a way no one else can. He kept his eyes on me for what felt like a long time, like he was silently connecting that feeling to me. Like he was telepathically saying, “You do it too.”
“It still would have been nice if you’d called,” Gram said, which was much nicer than what I was going to say.
Marc shifted in his seat. “I know, Gram, and I’m sorry. But it was, like, first it was only a few months, then the months turned into a year, then it was like I convinced myself I didn’t have an old life. I know it’s messed up, but it’s just what happened. Like I was so deep into this new life that I couldn’t go backward.” To me he said, “I’m sorry, Marissa. I’m a horrible big brother. I should’ve been there for you. Can you please forgive me?”
There was something so sincere in his voice that I felt the walls around my heart start to crumble. With everything inside me, I wanted to hate him, but this was Marc. All I truly wanted to do was hug him and beg him never to leave again. I tried to look tough, my legs and arms crossed. “I’ll try,” I replied as I looked to the floor. “So what were you doing back here? And who was the girl you were with?”
A large grin swept across his face. “Ginny.” The grin morphed into a full-faced smile. “She’s awesome. We met at the mall. Not this mall here, but back in North Carolina. She works at one of those specialty tea shops. Funny thing is she’s from around here. She wanted to visit her family, but her car would never have made the drive, so I offered to bring her. We’d only been in town a day before we ran into you.” He looked briefly at me.
“So you were in town,
