Marc sat back in his chair. “No, see I was… going to call you but—”
“Save it.” I cut him off. How dare he? A barricade was immediately rebuilt around my heart.
“No, wait a minute.” He stood up now. “I wanted to meet Ginny’s family and then tell her about mine.”
“Yeah, right.” I tugged on a hangnail.
“I’m serious. I was going to tell her then bring her to meet you guys. Honest. I was even going to take her to the grave. It’s just kind of messed up that I ran into you before all that happened.”
Gram tried to sit herself up in her bed, and Marc rushed to her side to help adjust her pillows. “I’m just glad you’re here now.” She lifted her arms and hugged him.
He embraced her, and then to me he said, “Marissa, do you believe me?” He crossed over to me.
“Why should I?” How could I?
“Because I swear.” He stood in front of me. “I swear on Mom’s grave.”
On Mom’s grave? That was it; the tears came, heavy and hard. Marc helped me stand up, and I sobbed into his chest. He held me, and for the first time in years, I felt safe.
****
Marc and I were driving back to the house when I got a text. I stared at the words on the screen. They seemed to be glowing.
I think we need 2 talk. And Brandon was right. We did need to talk. The problem was that I didn’t know what to say. I knew it sounded stupid, but when you’ve been hiding major aspects of your life from someone, it’s just not that simple to suddenly expose who you truly are to them. Part of me felt so emotionally stunted, like my mom’s death had stopped me from being able to feel anything. Happiness, sadness, whatever, all emotions felt like they were coated in hot tar, sticky and black, and I didn’t know if I could move on. Sure, I could just blurt everything out to Brandon. Get it all out in one fell swoop. Over and over, I played the possible scenarios out in my head. Although I couldn’t be sure what reaction he would have. Anger, disdain, betrayal, sympathy, pity, rage. None of them were good. But I knew at this point I was in too deep. Things had to change. I just didn’t know how much.
My hands shook as I texted him back. Yeah. 2morrow K? At school
Chapter Twenty-One
I was having one of those lucid dreams. In the middle of the empty school hallways, I stood still with Brandon at one end and Marc at the other. My books surrounded me, and my clothes felt like they were made out of liquid. The fabric dripped all the different colors of my outfit, mixing them into a pool of gray around my feet. When I looked to Marc, he was surrounded by shades of blue and green. He motioned for me to come to him, but my feet couldn’t move, as if they were cemented to the floor. When I looked to Brandon, he was surrounded by shades of purple and gold. Even in my lucid state, I recognized that blues were my mom’s favorite color, and the purples were my favorite color. As I began to lean toward Brandon’s direction, Marc called to me. When I looked to him again, he was holding a bouquet of balloons, all bright red and heart-shaped. Then images of my mom were floating all around him. My liquid outfit turned red, and it seeped from me into the floor. A waterfall opened up from the ceiling and cascaded down on me, washing me and all my colors down into the basement of the school where everything was black.
Back in my bed, I woke up gasping for air, my hands clutching my chest. I thought there was ringing in my ears, but that was before I realized the ringing was my phone.
“Hello?” I was classically dazed and confused and willing my heart rate to slow down.
Zoe sounded like she was in a tunnel. “Marissa, where are you?”
“Zoe? Why do you sound all echo-y?” I rubbed my eyes.
“I’m in the girls’ bathroom. Why aren’t you in school? Are you okay? Is your grandmother okay?”
School? “What? What time is it?” What day was it?
“It’s ten. What’s going on?” I could hear the chatter of girls in the background.
After assuring her that I was all right and that my grandmother was all right, I then dropped the bomb that Marc was back. Her response to everything was, “Are you serious?”
Apparently, my lucid dream had caused me to sleep through my first three classes. The damage was already done, so I was just going to skip. I knew it was totally irresponsible, but my brother had just returned from the beyond, and my grandmother was in the hospital. All things being relative, I deserved a break.
After I dragged myself out of bed, I headed to the kitchen. I made a large pot of coffee, double strength. As the coffee percolated in the background, I poked my head into Marc’s room and saw he was still sleeping. It was an odd sensation to see him in there, in his bed. I had an urge to pour cold water on him to wake him up. I’d give him five more minutes. While I waited, I sat at the kitchen table dunking a stale blueberry muffin into my coffee. I checked my phone for missed messages and saw I had four texts, all from Brandon.
U here? Looked 4 u in parking lot…
U ok?
Shld I be worried or angry?
Ok I’m worried
Still dunking my muffin, I stared at the texts, unsure how to respond. I was gearing up for how I was going to lay everything out to Brandon. The last thing I wanted
