And it worked.
Fuck yeah.
I plow through the door to my apartment, instantly coming to a quick stop.
Something isn’t right here.
Didn’t I lock that?
I glance around the apartment. The living room and kitchen are the way I left them, but the flannel skirt and red satin panties on the floor leading to the bedroom are definitely not mine.
I step forward, stopping in the doorway as I hear a rustling sound on my bed.
“Hello?” I ask the dark.
A light, feminine chuckle.
I exhale hard. I flick on the light. There’s a lump on the bed beneath the sheets…
“Val?” I ask, annoyed.
She sits up, my bed sheet barely covering her naked breasts. “Hey, baby,” she says.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I ask.
Her bottom lip pouts. “I was worried about you,” she says. “Thought I’d come check on you, neighbor.”
“How did you get in here?”
She shrugs. “My dad has keys to every unit.”
I grab the skirt and panties off the floor and toss them onto the bed. “Well, get dressed and go back to your own unit.”
“No.” She ignores her clothes. “Not until you tell me why you skipped out on my party.”
“Something came up,” I answer.
“Something more important than me?”
“Yes.”
She feigns offense. “Ouch.”
“And from what I heard, you weren’t exactly lonely that night, so what do you care?”
“I still missed you,” she says as she lets the sheet drop, revealing her young, perky nipples.
I turn away. “Get out, Val.”
“Wait, really?” she asks.
“Yes, really.”
“You’re not tempted? Not even a little bit?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“You’re just... you’re not my type, Val. And I’m seeing someone — someone who is on her way over here as we speak, so…”
I wave my arms, motioning toward the door.
She frowns. “You mean that woman I saw leave your place last week?”
“Yes,” I answer.
“The pregnant one?” she asks, shocked.
“No, not that one. The other one.”
“The blonde?”
“No.” I blink. “Man, I need some male friends.”
“The brunette?” she asks. “With the cheekbones?”
“Yes!” I say, pointing. “That’s her.”
“Oh…” She settles, disappointed. “She’s really pretty.”
I smile. “Yes, she is.”
Val’s shoulders droop. “Okay, then…” she mumbles.
I spot a bra on the floor and grab that, too, along with the unfamiliar blouse next to it. “I’m sorry, Val,” I say, dropping them on the bed. “You’re a very nice young woman, but I’m not interested in—”
“No, I get it.” She snatches the bra off the bed. “You’re just yet another man who won’t go near me because...” Her voice falls as she fumbles with the bra, throwing it up her arms and securing the front clasp. “Never mind.”
I sit down near the foot of the bed. “What do you mean?” I ask.
She shimmies her panties on beneath the sheets. “Just forget it.”
“What’s up, Val?”
“Nothing.” She pauses, defeated. “Men are scared to date me.”
I tilt my head. “They are?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because of my dad!” she says. “The second they hear I’m related to him, they either run in the other direction or ask me for his autograph. I cease to exist.”
“To be fair, he strangled a guy on live television.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know.”
“Twice.”
“I had to go to freakin’ Europe to meet someone who didn’t know him just so I could lose my virginity!”
“Ah.” I nod. “It all makes sense now.”
“Do you know how humiliating that is?!”
“Well, I lost mine at a Fourth of July hoedown behind a barn to a girl who might have been my distant cousin, so... yeah, kind of.”
She sighs. “Ever since I’ve come home, I’ve had this... itch. And not just for sex, either! I really, really want to get back at my dad for all the years of cuntblocking me.”
“And your solution to that was... this?”
Val nods slowly, her words stalling. “He was supposed to walk in on us... well, during.”
I frown. “And how would he know to do that?”
She cringes. “I might have put in a maintenance request for you…”
“For when?”
“About now.”
I hop off the bed. “Val, get dressed and get out of my apartment. Please.”
“Okay.”
Thankfully, she gets up and I turn around as she slips her blouse and skirt back on.
“So, what about Roger?” I ask the wall.
“Roger?”
“Didn’t you spend the night with him?”
“Yeah, I guess,” she says. “So?”
“You said no man would touch you. Roger didn’t seem to have a problem with it. He had some nice things to say about your time together, actually.”
I peek first to make sure she’s decent before turning away from the wall.
“I don’t know,” she says, shrugging. “He’s a waiter, you know? Hard to piss off Daddy by sleeping with a waiter.”
I smile. “Give Roger another chance. Believe me when I say that he will find a way to piss your dad off.”
“He will?” she asks, hopeful.
“Absolutely.”
“Okay.” She smiles. “Thanks, Rob.”
“I did literally nothing.”
“No, you’re a good neighbor. I really appreciate it.”
“Thanks, Val.” I bob my head toward the door. “Out.”
She giggles, but obeys. “Bye!” she says, quickly blowing me a kiss before skipping toward the door.
I exhale, silently praying that this was the last of this nonsense.
“Oh—” Val pauses after flinging the door open. “Excuse me.”
“Okay...”
My gut flips. I spin around, spotting Melanie lingering in the hallway as Val takes off toward her apartment.
I rush through my living room to meet her. “That’s not what it looks like,” I say. “It’s worse, actually.”
Melanie steps inside, briefly peeking into the hallway behind her as she slowly closes the door. “Oh, yeah?” she asks.
“That’s my landlord’s daughter,” I explain.
“Okay.”
“She was in my bed.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Naked.”
“Ah.”
“She tried to seduce me.”
Melanie squints. “To seduce you?”
“She’s been at it for weeks,” I say. “Turns out, she just wanted to stir up drama with her dad. I think I’ve got it under control now, though. She won’t be trying a stunt like this again, that’s for sure.”
Melanie hangs on every word, but gives
