He watched as Michelle slowly nodded.
“You stayed with me the whole night. You didn’t say anything until I did. And even then, you just listened to me vent. Being able to curl up in a ball knowing you were right there with me, knowing you knew what I was going through...it got me through those first few months.”
Guy watched in amazement as a tear slipped down Michelle’s cheek as Jo’s voice thickened with emotion.
“You wouldn’t have known how to comfort me if you hadn’t been through the same thing. You knew mere words wouldn’t suffice, but your presence would. It’s the same with God. Often times, we think He’s silent when we lose a loved one because He’s ignoring us, but sometimes, He’s simply basking us with His presence. He knows no words will soothe us. But His presence, His unwavering love and support will see us through.”
He stared at Jo, shocked as the truth of her words removed the veil over his eyes. Never had he looked at death like that. Instead, he’d been the first one to rail at God during late night feedings when the twins were young. He’d wanted to know why he had to go through childrearing alone. Not once did he consider God was offering His comfort during those silent nights.
All the trite sayings people had offered scrolled through his mind. Man, it grated on his nerves. Yet, he remembered the balm his soul experienced at the funeral. When the strands of “All I Need is You” played, all he could remember was the abject look of worship that used to come over Charlene’s face when they played it at church. She had been sure all she needed was the Lord to get through the trials and tribulations of life.
Why hadn’t he held onto that memory?
He stared down at the table, a tumult of emotions swinging like a pendulum. Part of him wanted to rail against Jo’s words. The other part, the part he had buried for years, couldn’t argue with her.
She was right.
A tickle formed in his throat and grew. It clawed at him. The truth, begging to be released. God’s truth. The truth his spirit knew very well.
Chloe began speaking and he shifted his gaze, hoping to stall the emotions threatening to be released. “I didn’t grow up with my parents. I used to envy the time you had with yours Jo, even though you didn’t get along with your mom.”
She turned and looked at Michelle. “And you. I loved being at your house. It was filled with love and laughter. When your parents died, I felt like my own had passed. My experiences don’t often make me relatable to others, but I want you to see it through my eyes.” She met everyone’s gaze before continuing. “You each have something I would love to have. Parents. Though they may not be with you today, you have had time with them. Precious time that can never be replaced. Time that will span their absences and leave you with memories. Memories you can recall and hold onto when life gets rough. So although I have never lost a leg, or a spouse, I have missed the opportunity to have parents raise me and show me how proud they are of me. There’s something about being parentless that makes others view you as incomplete.” She looked down at her hands.
His heart dropped to his feet. Chloe was right. He had tons of memories of his life with Charlene. He had little mementos all over the house for further reminder. And as much as his mother drove him crazy, Guy couldn’t discount the tremendous help she’d been, helping him watch the girls. He grew up with his mother and father. Now, he had Nana Baker to add to his circle of family and friends. He’d been blessed in ways he had taken for granted.
What she said was true. He thought his girls’ lives would be incomplete without Charlene to raise them, but they still had him. Perhaps that’s where trust in God needed to come in as Evan suggested.
“I get it, Chloe,” Darryl said.
He looked at her with the most compassionate look Guy had ever seen on his friend’s face. Darryl had to be a good doctor. He’d always had a compassionate nature, and it showed now.
Chloe gave him a timorous smile, her cheeks blooming. Guy raised an eyebrow. Was there something brewing between her and Darryl? He sat back, looking between them with new eyes. Love was in the air. Had both of his friends been bitten by the bug?
He glanced at Michelle out of corners of his eyes, trying to keep anyone else from noticing. Who was he kidding? He definitely had an interest in Michelle, but he couldn’t reconcile it with his life with Charlene. How did that work? How could you forget someone after pledging your life to them? For better or worse? Rich or poor? ‘Til death do you part?
And she died.
He closed his eyes. Her death didn’t negate his vow. It didn’t stop the memories. But could there be room for someone else in his life? Is there, God?
“We all go through different life events. They shouldn’t be comparable or minimized. We don’t know each other’s inner struggles unless we share.” Jo paused. “But God knows them. He knows what you’re going through and He knows what your future holds. He’s the only one who can truly understand you. Instead of cursing Him, we should be blessing Him for not leaving us alone. For always being there, even when we don’t want to acknowledge His presence.”
Guy wanted to groan and slink underneath his chair. As much as he wanted to deny it, the truth rang loud and clear. In his heart, Guy knew God had always been there for him. He
