After worship, she hurried out. She needed a breather. Needed to get out into the fresh air and think about her next moves. She had been content to let Guy come to her, but after today’s sermon, she began to think that was foolish.
If she really loved him, cared for him, it was up to her to let him know. He needed to know she would fight to earn his forgiveness. She wanted a relationship with him. Wanted to be in his life. Help him with the girls. She sighed. She’d even be nice to his mother. Mrs. Pierre wasn’t as bad as she’d originally thought.
Michelle headed for the park, thankful it was quiet. Probably because everyone was just leaving church. She looked down at the bench, their bench, but she couldn’t bring herself to go down there. So she sat on the swing and admired Freedom Lake. The green leaves gleamed in the sun light. Michelle sighed as she slowly pushed the swing. Being here reminded her of Rebekah and Rachel. How the girls had nestled in her heart so easily, quickly, was beyond her.
It was because of Guy. She had never stopped loving him. She could admit that now. It was why her past attempts at relationships never worked. Why she had been so overwhelmed with his return to Freedom Lake. Loving Guy, loving his girls, had made her a better person.
She was less calloused, less cynical, and quicker to smile, to show another compassion. God had finally shown her how she had closed herself up in the guise of never wanting to lose anyone again. Even Tanya had taught her a lot. Compassion to help her fellow man wasn’t going to be ingrained in her overnight, but at least chipping away the wall had begun.
And forgiving herself would do the rest of the work.
She wanted a family. Could be blessed with one, despite her past wrongs. The grace of God gave her a clean slate and her future was bright as snow. White as snow. Pure as snow. She chuckled to herself. To sit here contemplating the freshness of winter almost made her wish it was there, but instead, she clung to the imagery in her mind. One day, God would bless her with a family and she wouldn’t be too stubborn to recognize it.
“Michelle?”
She froze at the sound of Guy’s husky voice. It sent shivers down her spine despite the heat of the day. She stopped the swing and glanced over her shoulder.
He stood there, looking unsure, as his hands disappeared into his pockets. She wanted to smile at the familiarity of it all, but her heart was one step from crumbling at his feet.
“Hello.” She looked passed him. “Where are the girls?”
“With my mother.”
She nodded on instinct, but her mind was reeling. Had he sought her out? He must have if he didn’t have the girls with him. Right?
Guy sighed and ran a hand down the back of his head, resting on his neck. He met her gaze and the force of it knocked the breath from her. His dark eyes gleamed like obsidian, drawing her to him. She felt the invisible tug to be nearer, despite everything that had passed between them.
“I’m sorry.”
The familiarity of his voice washed over her.
Wait, what did he say? “What?” Her eyebrow raised in disbelief.
“I’m sorry.”
Her breath hiccupped. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
He stepped closer, his hands digging deeper into his pockets. “Of course, I do. I left you, without any way to reach me. I left because I was too ashamed of my actions. Because I knew I took something precious that was not mine to take. I was ashamed and guilty, and I ran as fast as I could. If I hadn’t....” His voice broke and her heart cracked.
“We were young. Stupid. It’s nothing to be sorry for.”
“But it is,” he rushed out. “I knew. I knew all along you loved me. I reveled in it. It helped me drift to sleep at night and woke me with anticipation in the morning. When I made the decision to leave, I lied to myself. I told myself we weren’t in love. The words had never been spoken, so I justified my behavior. Eventually, the memory of us faded.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he pulled his hand out of his pocket and held out her love knot ring. “The reason I gave this to you was because I knew you loved me and I loved you.”
He still had it? She thought he would have tossed it by now. She’d been too afraid to ask for it back. Instead, she had been intent on making their relationship new.
He took her hand, opening her palm to place the ring on it. “I was young and foolish when I gave this to you. And I was floored when I saw it on your hand that day I took it.” He licked his lips. “I’ve held it ever since. It’s been in my pocket no matter what I wore. I’ve carried it with me first out of curiosity, then out of shame, and then...then I began to hope. I wanted another chance at happiness. The happiness I thought God stole from me.”
Guy closed her palm. “So I return it to you, knowing I gave it on good faith. Knowing it isn’t mine to keep but truly belongs to you, no matter what happened in the past.”
He dropped back, his hands at his side.
“Thank you.” She cleared her throat, surprised by the rusty sound that emitted from her. Tears clogged her throat, threatening to make an appearance. She wanted forever with him.
He studied her, his jaw muscle tightening and loosening before he spoke. “I’m a grown man. I’ve made my peace with the Lord, and I
