“It’s not your fault,” Tiara told him, putting her hand on his. She’d seen the look of guilt cross his face, and she wanted him to know that she didn’t blame him. “If you hadn’t come when you did, I wouldn’t even be here.”
“I’m sorry, Tiara,” was all he could say as he gazed into her eyes.
“No, really,” Tiara said as she squeezed his hand. “You don’t need to apologize. If anything, I’m sorry. I feel terrible that you just got dragged into something that has nothing to do with you.”
“Nah, it’s cool,” Stevelle said, feeling a little bit better. “It’s over now. I’m glad you’re okay.”
Listening to his words, she wished to God what he said really was true, but she knew it wasn’t. Unfortunately, for her, the nightmare was far from over. As much as she would have liked to talk more with Stevelle, she felt too numb to say anything else. Instead, she leaned into his warm hand and closed her eyes for a little bit, trying to get rid of the creepy, crawly feeling that was lingering on her skin. She tried to wrap her mind around the fact that she had just been raped—again.
“Can you stand up?” he asked.
She nodded and stood up to try her legs. They were still so weak that she fell right back down.
“Hold on,” he told her. He disappeared for a second, and shortly after, she heard water running in her bathroom. Tiara did her best to keep her eyes off of Mario’s body. Even though she knew he was dead, she felt like his soul was lingering in the room. She felt chills throughout her body and jumped when Stevelle came back to the room and touched her shoulder.
“It’s just me,” he said and scooped her up into his arms. “I won’t let anyone hurt you again. Come on.”
He carried her all the way to the bathroom and set her down on the counter. The water in the tub was still running, and the bubbles were already fizzing.
“I don’t want you to have to go back into that room,” Stevelle told her. “Tell me where your clothes are, and I’ll grab them for you. Get in the tub.”
She told him where he could find a Victoria’s Secret Pink outfit, her underwear, socks, and a pair of all-white Nike Air Maxes. When he came back, she was already in the tub and had turned the water off. The bubbles covered her entire body, and the only thing that Stevelle was able to see were her shoulders. He placed her clothes on the counter and her shoes next to the toilet.
“I hit my nigga up. He’s on his way so that we can get rid of this body. Take all the time you need.”
There was something about the smoothness in his voice that made her feel at peace. She could feel her body relax, and she closed her eyes, allowing the warmth of the water to help ease the aches and pains she had throughout her body. It felt great for her to be immersed in the hot water. When the door shut behind him, she leaned back and tried to relax a little bit. All she had wanted to do was bathe and clear her mind. She thought about what the counselor was always telling her: to let go of her past and just put it behind her. She deemed it right then as bullshit. There was no putting what she had been through behind her. It always popped back up at the worst times. She had to face all of her problems head-on because even though they were the things that had caused her the most pain, they were also what helped her build the strongest of skins. She stayed there in that tub for a little over an hour, running more hot water once it started to get cold.
When she got out of the tub, she stood naked in front of the mirror and wiped her hand across it. She stared into it and saw a girl who had once been so beautiful and innocent. She saw the girl who swallowed a bottle of pills, but she also saw the woman who had gotten through it all and had been able to build herself and her life practically out of nothing. She and her best friend had been mentally and physically destroyed, yet, they were able to heal and move forward. They both were still standing, and she refused to continue to let the past haunt her. She was ready to come into a new season of her life. And the first step was for her to stop trying to run from her past and just confront it head-on.
She got dressed, brushed her hair neatly into a bun at the top of her head, and treated some of the cuts on her cheek. When she heard a knock on the door, she opened it to see Stevelle standing there.
“Well, look who’s awake,” Stevelle spoke softly. “Can I come in?”
She stepped aside so he could enter.
“Did you have a good bath?”
“How long was I in there?” she asked.
“For a minute.”
“I’m sorry,” Tiara said. “I didn’t mean to hold you up like this.”
“Nah, it’s cool. I don’t mind,” he said, enjoying the fact that she seemed so comfortable with him.
“So who was he?” Pulling Tiara into his chest, Stevelle gently pushed her hair to the side so he could speak into her ear.
“My ex-boyfriend from back in high school,” Tiara told him. “He’s the one responsible for my father’s death. I thought—no—I was stupid enough to
